Truth - I'm so sorry to read about your marriage and understand the mental prison we create for ourselves. Is you family involved with the JW's? Are some congergations more welcome to DF'd members than others? As far as the Memorial - this is the first thread I've read about this particular ceremony. Is it like a re-creation of the Last Supper? Who gets to play Jesus?
On the Protestant side, it depends on the type of church. I went to a military church that had communion every week simply due to the number of soldiers coming and going. Others have it once a month, once a quarter or twice a year. The elements can be received at the alter by a minister or at the pews with trays of wine/grape juice and bread (leaven and non). Once again that depends on the church. This is done in rememberance of Christ and is not seen as a mystical transformation of the elements. Growing up I was not allowed to partake until I learned what it was about and why we reconize it. I always thought it morbid to partake and yet remember why He died and an overwhelming feeling of saddness hits me.