Update on my Mom's stroke.

El Kabong

Hi friends:

First off, I want to thank you all for your words of support that you gave me on the last thread I posted about a month or so again. I know I don't know any of you all personally, but your words of support and encouragement meant a lot to me.

My mom had a massive stroke last month. She was in intensive care for about 2 weeks. We sent her to a rehab hospital for about 3 weeks for physical and speech therapy at the Kessler Institute. She was kind of miserable there and couldn't wait to get out of there.

Last weekend, unfortunatly, we had no choice but to put her in a nursing home. She is still paralyzed on her left side, her speech is improving, but it's still hard to understand what she is trying to say.

I went to visit her in the nursing home. I can honestly say that my heart just sank when I walked into the nursing home. These places are just so depressing. I really wish she didn't have to be there. But, I really can't think of any other choice. She needs full time nursing care. She really can't get out of bed, even to go to the bathroom. I think that's the thing that depresses us the most. All she want's is the dignity of being able to just go to the bathroom by herself.

I guess I just need the reassurance that I did the right thing by putting her into a home, because I really feel awful that I had to do that.

Anyway, thanks for listening.

All the best,

El K

mouthy

Yes I understand how you feel. But what else could you do.If you cant look out for her full time We had to put my Mother in a home She could not come to Canada ( where I live) My sister who lived near her couldnt lift her So How can you help????? The guilt is awful but I think its better to make sure she has full time help than wear your self out with worry & missing work.... ( If that is what you would have to do if she was at your home)

shotgun

Sorry ((El Kabong))

I can't imagine having to make that decision.....Guilt wise it seems like a no win situation.

nilfun

I'm so sorry El Kabong. But you trying to do it all for her, without this kind of professional help -- can sometimes do more harm than good.

Getting to know the staff and continuing to be involved in her care there might help with some of those feeling you are having right now.

You hang in there, ok?

outoftheorg

SORRY FOR YOU AND YOUR MOTHER. LIKE NILFUN SUGGESTED, BE SURE TO VISIT OFTEN AND TALK TO AND WORK WITH THE CAREGIVERS.

MY WIFE IS IN CHARGE OF A HOME HEALTH ORG. AND HAS WORKED IN ASSISTED LIVING GROUPS LIKE YOUR MOM IS IN.

SHE TELLS ME IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO WORK WITH THE CAREGIVERS AND ALSO MONITOR THE CARE THEY GIVE TO YOUR MOTHER.

LIKE ALL THINGS IN LIFE, KEEPING AN EYE ON THE CARE SHE RECIEVES IS IMPORTANT. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK QUESTIONS AND IF NOT SATISFIED, DO TALK TO THE MANAGMENT.

ALWAYS BE COURTEOUS AND REASONABLE WITH THEM. IN THIS SITUATION IT IS EASY TO BECOME SO EMOTIONALY STRESSED THAT WE MAY INSULT THE MANAGMENT AND NOT EVEN KNOW IT.

IF IT IS POSSIBLE, INVOLVE OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS IN DOING THE THINGS YOU ARE DOING. SPREAD THE LOAD AROUND TO OTHER RELIABLE PERSONS.

THIS IS AN UNUSUALY STRESSING JOB YOU ARE TAKING ON. A JOB WITH FEW REWARDS.

YOU ARE TO BE ADMIRED FOR DOING THIS FOR YOUR MOTHER. MANY MOTHERS DO NOT HAVE THIS KIND OF FAMILY.

WISHING ALL THE BEST TO YOU AND YOUR MOM.

Outoftheorg

Sassy

aaahhh El Kabong, I know that can not have been easy. I've had friends in similar situations and even though there is no choice, it is still hard to do. Keep in mind she has people around to take care of her 24/7 and that is what she needs.

(((((((((El Kabong))))))))))

DevonMcBride

Sorry your mother is paralyed and in a nursing home. I'm glad her speech is improving.

You did the right thing by putting her in a nursing home. Nursing homes don't have the same connotation they had years ago. In the old days nursing were almost like institutions where old people were placed to live out their last days. Today, they provide therapy, activities and good medical care. My Grandmother's nursing home had field trips, guest speakers and one day a month the SPCA brings in dogs. She lived to be 95.

I hope this helps put your mind at ease.

Devon

El Kabong

Thank you ((((Mouthy)))) (((Shotgun))) (((Nilfun))) (((Outoftheorg))) (((Sassy))) and (((Devon))) for your words. Your care and support really means a lot to me.

Thanks for caring during this difficult time in my family's life.

I'm glad that I could come here and just come here and just vent my problems. You all are great!!!

cruzanheart

I know how you feel. My mother is in a nursing home and putting her there was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. For one thing, she was absolutely furious about it. She has Alzheimer's and it was too much for Dad to continue taking care of her by himself. Once she relaxed (that took about two months) she began to enjoy herself and is now happier than I've ever seen her. That was 3 1/2 years ago and she doesn't know anyone now but she's still happy. And I can see that the staff do take good care of her, better than I could ever do. Just visit your mother as often as you can, and take her a little something that she likes (my mom still likes chocolate milkshakes).

Hugs,

Nina

Valis

yo El K...take care and sorry you are having to go through this...chin up and if it gets tood bad to handle just call on the pros..

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Update on my Mom's stroke.

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