...has Already Committed Adultery

by YoursChelbie 17 Replies latest jw friends

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  scootergirl

  I think it is important for people to remember that feelings are just feelings. People don't need to act on them. One must live a life that is true to themselves-but there are consequences to our actions. To me, it all boils down to how much to do appreciate, love and respect what you have. I am not saying that in my life I have been an angel 110% of the time, I have made my mistakes too. But I think the key is to learn by our mistakes and the mistakes of others.

  A conscience is something that is developed over time and usually involves some sort of experience-whether or own or that of others. One thing that I try never to do is impose my conscience on others.
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  fader

  I was raised as a witness and received the standard witness sex education. I faded at age 18 for various reasons. I have had numerous sex partners, of both genders. I'm married to a wonderful man who is a non-witness. He and I have a great relationship. We decided that we would have an open marriage, meaning that both of us could have other sex partners. We do not equate sex with love. I love him dearly, we've been together for eight years. This arragement works for us, we both gain and have never had a bad experience with it. I consider myself a moral person, perhaps not by the teachings of the 'book' or the WTBTS. I don't consider having other sex partners cheating if my husband knows about it. We discuss it ahead of time. If he objects, then it doesn't happen. That to me is adultery: lying to your partner, not having sex with someone else. Dan Savage wrote an interesting book called "Skipping Towards Gomorrah". It's a good read, there's a chapter in there that deals with your average-middle-class Americans who have these types of marriages.
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  Englishman

  But I say to you that everyone who keeps on looking at a woman so as to have a passion for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

  I suppose that if one actually repeatedly looks at a woman and imagines having sex with her could be construed as committing adultery in one's heart.

  However, as HL so wisely giggled: "Michael. I know you like pretty ladies".

  See, there's a world of difference between being pleasantly bemused by an attractive woman (Ye gods, there were dozen's of 'em at the Florida fest!) and being unfaithful.

  I mean.. I can look at a Ferarri without having to drive it.

  Emhlishman.
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  Country Girl

  I married my best friend. I don't want to be responsible for breaking the heart of my best friend, which it would truly do. In addition, I would find myself detestable and disgusting. I'm a very loyal person, and I think that that is what is the most important. I couldn't bear the thought of hurting him that deeply, it would be like stabbing myself in the heart. Trust is broken down easily, and very hard to rebuild.

  CG
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  rocketman

  Well, I guess a marriage like the one fader has would be cool, but that ain't gonna happen to me.

  So, the main reasons why I have not strayed:

  1. I don't want to deal with the repercussions, and the only way to avoid that is to avoid the act itself.

  2. Love and respect for my wife.

  3. Wanting the respect of others.

  Why is my number 2 not instead number 1? I guess it's that my love and respect for my wife don't run deep enough to keep me from wanting other women. So that's where not wanting all the hassles and fallout from the act come in. I'd rather simply avoid the complication it would bring to my life. That may not be the more admirable motivation, but it accomplishes the same thing - keeping me out of trouble.
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  Elsewhere

  I'm in my rebellious teenage just got out phase.. I haven't denied myself much yet....

  Hey babe... you ain't gone nowhere 'till you've gone Elsewhere.
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  YoursChelbie

  Thanks for the honest, thoughtful responses.

  I also feel like the majority here: Common Sense shapes my conscience as well. Active Jehovah's Witnesses would like to think that those of us who chose to leave have no sense of right and wrong and that without their constant indoctrination we become totally immoral and just overall "bad" people...

  Overall, I think that people who lack consideration for the family unit and treat it as something to be discarded will act that way because they just want to. When all is said and done, if a person wants to be unfaithful to their spouse (and deal with the consequences that come with that) they will do so irrespective of religious affiliation.

  YoursChelbie
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  RedWytch