by Joysome 13 Replies latest jw experiences
im sorry that your having to deal with the loss of family.I also have lost the relationship with my mother who I will probably never see again she has decided she will not ever be the same place i am.
Also my daughter is shunning me as well.It does hurt ALOT but i think i would be more miserable to be who others want me to be instead of being true to myself.
Your mother drives by and sees you and doesn't wave? That's not your mother, that's someone who looks like your mother.
Purple describes the typical dysfunctional co-dependent relationship that may people have. The JWs thrive on humans that are prone to this attitude. They use these relationships to inject methods of coersion and guilt feelings as a means of control. A healthy psyche will not allow others to control it and that is what is needed. The question then is how to move from dependence and emotional instability to a more mature and self-assured and reliant individual. It requires forgetting your personal "needs" and focusing on the needs of others. Being of service to those that can use your support, no matter how small that may be at first. Once we become the one "needed" and our actions are focused on serving others genuinely with alturism, we will begin to forget or give up or need to please the organization, its members or our family members that we so wished to please. It's all a matter of maturing from dependency to independency.
carm
I am so sorry Joy. I have a sister who is not communicating with me much since I have been inactive. She has totally cut off her 2 sons who have left the Org. Her sons call me and tell me the same story you have written--that they miss their mom and also their sister and brother who are still at home who they can no longer see. I tell them that their Mom really does love them, but she is just doing what she has been told is the best thing to do. I know that it is very painful for my sister and she has had to shut part of herself down to be able to stop associating with her sons. In her mind she is doing this as a sacrifice of herself in behalf of their ultimate well being, or so she has been told. She was a good mom when they were growing up and I saw how much she loved them. I am sure this is the same with your mom. It is the wall that the Org puts up to separate families. They tried to do it to my family too. I despise the Org for causing so much pain in people's lives.
Keep on moving ahead in a healthy direction--it may be someday your mom and others will step out of the WT illusion and will want to restore the relationship. Until then, keep on sharing...
