For Single Ones: Do you ever.........

simplesally

.........want to get married again?

Now that we are out of the WTBTS, where the mindset is marriage and couples, do you feel the need to be married or get re-married?

Sometimes, I think, why would I get married again? I have my child, my house and a good job. Do I want to complicate my life in that way and then find out that I married someone with so many troubles?

The answer for me is YES. I do someday probably want to remarry. The nice thing is that I will have the freedom to date for a long time. I will be able to spend time alone without having questions about my morality or lack of it. I won't be dating "with marriage in view" but dating to have a good time and get to know someone..........If that person ends up to be a life partner........sometimes I think it would be ok to live together forever........however, even in this society we live in, marriage solidifies the relationship. The way we grew up makes us still think that way, at least for me.

I think if I ever got married again, I'd have to have a pre-nup.

I do miss having a person here when I get home or someone that takes care of me when I feel sad or sick. Now, I have never had a really good relationship since I got in the truth. So, I still want that relationship that I think will complete my life. I want someone to be partnered with, someone to plan with and someone to have fun with..........

Anybody else?

shotgun

Sally I'm sure you will have no trouble finding a man that's wants to marry you..no problem at all.

Too bad I'm married...I'm free to fool around a little thoughJust kidding.......unless you want too.

Puternut

Marriage is quite often rushed into. That's why so many people get divorced these days. The idea of being with someone is almost everyone's desire. Someone special to confide in, someone to be comforted by, some to laugh, and cry with. There is nothing nicer than to come home to a place where there is peace and respect for the other person. Often too much is expected of the other partner. Granted we have our wished and needs and wants, yet we are all individuals who need to be respected for who they are as a person. And not to be expected to be someone who we might like them to be. That is why being friends first for quite some time is quite important. If it turns out to be a relationship where both are comfortable and have mutual respect, then if both decide to live together for a while, which is quite different than just being friends, they owe it to themselves to experience that time together.

All this takes time and patience. There is nothing more frustrating than to be married to someone that we actually don't get along with, but we just stick it out, because we are married. I think the mistake most people make is that they are not open and upfront with their mate, and live their own life while they are married.

I have been married for 25 years, and will say that most of those years were good. But due to change in personality over the years, and the other person not recognizing that, we lived seperate lives, though married. Someday in the future I wish to remarry also. I miss being with someone special, and someone that understands me for who I am and what values I have. But I am in no hurry, I have all a lot of time on my hands and I need to be sure this time.

Puternut

Sassy

I always thought of myself as the marrying type. But then of course that came from my JW background as well as conservative (yeah, would you believe it?) upbringing..

When I got burned with my second marriage, duped for a green card, I guess I was burned too hard because I won't marry fast again. The trust that was broken caused too much damage. Actually I had no intention of even getting into a serious relationship at all this go round.. I thought "hey Sassy.. you aren't a JW.. enjoy life.. hell.. even have a 'f' buddy if you want.. so.. I started out that way.. was dating a few men.. but I did get serious with one and we've been living together now for four months. Our relationship is better in those four months than 4 months from either of our marriages. I still have some trust issues though. Is it exemplified because we are together without a marriage license? I dont' think so but I guess I am not sure.

We've talked 'around' the idea of marriage.. I know that is his eventual plan. He's just not asking out loud fast yet, knowing my reservations.. as well as wanting to be sure himself.

I will marry again I think.. I just don't know yet when

Nosferatu

In some ways I'd consider what I'm going through a second marriage. I'll tell you one thing though, this is my last shot at it. If this doesn't work out, I doubt I'll ever marry again....... unless (god forbid) something tragic happens to my soon-to-be wife.

ApagaLaLuz

yes... i havent been engaged since my ew jw fiancee\. I would love to fall in love and get married. Worldly guys seem to not have any desire to do so.

chevy.... of the "drunk and fee;ing sorry for herself" class

Xena

When I first got seperated I vowed never to marry again! Now? I don't feel an urgent need to get married but if I were with someone and they felt more comfortable with us being married I would most likely do it.

I have to admit though it scares me a bit, I subjugated myself so much to my spouse (to be honest I do feel that a large part of that was due to the JW teachings of how a wife should be) that I feel like I lost a large portion of myself that I am just now re-discovering. I don't ever want to lose the person I am again....

Don't feel bad Chevy, I'm sure we have all felt the way you do a time or two....I know I have

Elsewhere

With the right woman... yes... I think I would like to get married. Unfortunatly all of those fanatical homosexuals have laws in place that prevent me from being able to marry a women.

simplesally

Sally I'm sure you will have no trouble finding a man that's wants to marry you..no problem at all

Shotgun, you made me smile. Actually, the problem is finding men, I'd want to marry. This time, I am not under that JW stigma where if you're not married, you're just on the outs. I am on the outs now........with my job! LOL. I never have weekends off so my days off are spent with me and my daughter doing something and people don't go out during the week. I can't really go out on weekends because I have to be at work pretty early Saturday morning.........8:30am.

I definitely would live with the person first. I don't want any surprises this time around.

I was watching Sex and the City and Carrie had told Alexandr that she wanted "crazy inconvenient love" .............. I thought, yep, that's what I want too........but then I want what my mom has, too......... a very relaxed relationship where two people just belong together. They just fit each other..

Maverick

Not at this point in life. I have some lady friends that are great fun to be around, but we all like our independents. As a man, why would I even want to give a woman half of everything I own? I did that once, and it cost me big-time! She brought very little to the table, but walked away with a lot! It cost me an early retirement. I realize marriage is important for good solid family unity when children are involved. But unless the woman has the financial, and educational background equal to her partner I would not recommend it.

I know this is not "right", but it is how I feel. Maverick

For Single Ones: Do you ever.........

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