Why are breakups so hard (page 2)

seeitallclearlynow

Dear Octavia,

No, I don't believe Jehovah God is punishing you. I don't believe He is connected with Jehovah's Witnesses at all! That organization just took on His OT name. They liked the idea of calling themselves "God's Only True People."

But He allowed His Son to come to earth to show how much He actually loves humans, let him be ridiculed, tortured and killed to show how much He loves humans. So again, no, I don't believe He would make that demonstration of His undying love and then punish humans for being humans in association with a man made organization that exemplifies LACK OF LOVE, instead of Godly love.

Broken relationships are "killer" so to speak. They hurt like there's no tomorrow. But most of us have been through it at least once, and the intense emotional pain subsides in time and even goes away.

I'm still sorry for your pain, though, and hope you feel much better soon!

Octavia

Well, I thought I was done crying until I read all the lovely (and honest) guidance you've all so lovingly bestowed upon me.

I guess it will take a few days (or weeks) yet. I'm a little bit anxious about my future. I've been divorced twice already... I guess I have a lot of soul searching to do- obviously there is a problem.

Sentinel

Oh, Octavia, please don't think that we get "punnished" by the creator for making errors in judgement. We are given this human life in order to experience many facets of it--the good the bad, the happy, the unhappy. We learn from our mistakes. Most of the time, we just don't follow our instincts, and instead try to manipulate other people into being what we want or hope or think they should be. On top of that, we live our lives in the mold someone else has made for us.

Even in the most sincere effort, this never does work. So sometimes, when I hear of relationships not working out, it is usually because we are still so very "young" at being human, and we don't know ourselves, let alone someone else. Then, we sometimes compound our desires by getting married and having children, which prolongs the journey that we must at some point stop and consider. Meantime, the oxymoron of all of this, is that we are raging with hormones--especially women, and we feel this need to be sexual--to be companions, wives, and mothers. The pull is very strong.

This is a turning point for you and a wonderful opportunity. Even though you didn't choose for this to happen, you have learned something from it. It is noted that your companion did not handle it very well at all, but then, saying goodbye is difficult. Now just live each day the best you can and move forward. Don't be your own worse enemy. Trust your instincts--your conscience, and move with it. You will find a great deal of peace.

/<

dh

Do ya'll think maybe Jah's punishing me for getting into it in the first place

no way, not ever!

brackets )))))

somebody

((((Octavia)))))

I feel for you. REALLY, I do. MANY here and in your personal life have probably been at the exact place you are right now. I have to say I agree with the BKB ( before kick back) view Elsewhere has. ;-)

If the relationship was not healthy and happy... then moving on is likely the best thing to do.

If a relationship is healthy, it really isn't so much "work" at all. If a relationship is healthy, then there would be no work to change one another. Therefore, the word "potential" seems strange to me in a relationship that is already a relationship. If you don't understand what I'm trying to say, I'll word it this way as an example...

Two people have a DATE. They like each other and they both figure the other as potential mates to have a serious relationship with. They keep on dating and their realtionship becomes more intimate, as each both have allowed.. Now the POTENTIAL is gone and they are in a relationship together, no longer being potentials to each other. Because if the potentail factor is not gone by then, then they will always view each other as having potential, but never fullfilling that potential.

That was a quickie example of what my opinion is only. :-) Am I going in circles?

peace,

gwen...who thinks by only what you said, it is most definaely not an easy to do, but more than likey, the best thing to do. (((Octavia))))

sandy

Hi Octavia.

When I was going through my break-up about 6 months back now everyone on here was so kind and supportive. But I hated hearing "It's all for the best", "Time will make it better" and all those other famous saying everyone dispensenses at times like this.

But the truth is Time does make it better and things really do work out for the best. It is hard to believe that when you are going through a break-up.

When you made the comment below I though of some things a wiser, older friend said to me during my break-up. It wasn't anything new or profound but I found myself dwelling on the truth of what he said. It did me a lot of good and it motivated me to really start taking care of myself.

I guess it will take a few days (or weeks) yet. I'm a little bit anxious about my future. I've been divorced twice already... I guess I have a lot of soul searching to do- obviously there is a problem.

This an exact quote but he said: It takes a very special person to be dumped. (Not that you were dumped) If we our really honest with ourselves then we'll come out of it learning what we ourselves did wrong in the relationship. And it is not that you want or should beat yourself up over it but, if you are honest then the next relationship you are in will be much better and healthier.

I sent you a PM.

Sandy

sandy

Ok, Octavia I cannot upload the file here but again if you pm with an email address I'll send you the file.

Sandy

LittleToe

Hey, Octavia, how you doin' ??

If your avatar is your real pic, and you are anything like your writing style, you have your pick of the crop.
Don't sell yourself short, for gawdsakes. Hold your chin up high, and look for someone who is your equal!

The book advice is a good one, though it might be a little heavy if you're still feeling tender (which I get a feeling that you are). On the other hand, it may be just the kind of thing you need to immerse yourself in.

One sure thing - regardless of the immediate outcome, your being freed from the borg is a good thing. If you can get yourself fully mentally free (though it may take a little time), you'll be a whole person

Try smiling (even though you may not feel like it) - it can work wonders - take it from a habitual smiler...

flower

I used to think that everything horrible and bad that happened to me was punishment from above for all the eeeeviiil and wicked things i had done in my life. Then I realized that I hadnt done anything evil or wicked at all and that sometimes shit just happens. The sooner you accept that the better off you will be. There is no person up there punishing you for anything. Shit just happens. It happens to everyone. It has nothing to do with you doing anything wrong worthy of punishment.

As far as breakups, yea they suck but as time goes on you will learn to take something from that experience and move on a smarter person.

hang in there..dont let it get you too down k?

Why are breakups so hard

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