Hi, everyone. Just wanted to let you know that I am okay. I got blottoed with my girlfriend last night. We decided to stay at my apartment and drink wine and talk about the whole thing and our impressions of everyone and everything at work. It was a HUGE cathartic relief. I can't go into anything right now, since I have to get going to work. I'll share fully about everything tonite when I get home!
Calling on all of you for support and prayers or energy for me!
by Sunnygal41 35 Replies latest jw friends
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talesin
Sunnygal
Right on ! ! ! Good for you.
tal
keep us in suspense (tapping foot "y'hear that LW?" )
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shotgun
At least your going to work that's a good sign!!...have a good day Sunnygirl and for gawds sake keep those crazy coloured nipples of yours covered up for a while!
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orangefatcat
Sunny, I am glad your hearing went okay, because you said you were going to work.
I know you must have been on pins and needles all week. Glad it is over.
I guess everyones vibes thoughts and prayers worked.
Love
Orangefatcat
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Mary
Sunny, I'm glad to hear that you (apparently) still have your job! We all make mistakes----bad ones sometimes. I'm amazed that this person turned you in to Management for one inappropriate comment. Christ, if I were turned in every time I made an inappropriate comment at work, Human Resources wouldn't be able to ever deal with any other issue. I worked at one government job where part of the training was on Identifying Harassment in the Workplace. I sat there and looked at the list of what constitutes harrassment and I thought "yep, I'm guilty of almost every one of these."
Let us know what happens.
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Sunnygal41
Okay, time to fill in the blanks for everyone............and put ya's all out of your misery.........(laughing at LW and GrowedUp and Tal)
I met my union steward and the union president and we all walked in to the conference room together..............the head of personnel, my boss, and Dr. Kurtz were there. I kept my head on an even keel and met everyone's eyes.......then, I started to tear up.........I am a mushball! Damn, I can never, never, never deal with emotional issues without crying! So, the tears are starting.......everyone is looking at me, but, no one says a word.........Dr. Kurtz leaves the room and is gone for about 5 minutes...........everyone is impatient to get this damn thing over with! The union president is sitting at my left, my union steward is on my right. I'm already crying and shaking................so, she comes back in............sits down, and starts...........saying that she wanted to be personally involved because she wanted an explanation of what events had led up to my making "the statement". I can't tell you all what I said, it was so awful and came out of some deep, black, awful place inside me.........it shocked me so much, after I got past the angry stage, and I've felt pretty horrible about myself ever since. I do want to share it, but I'm not quite ready to yet. She was very calm, considering what I had said. I gave her a great amount of credit for being able to be professional about the whole situation. So, I told her that that morning I had come into work feeling very agitated and anxious. Everything was bothering me, and I was overreacting to everything and everyone. My job is very stressful, and I deal with alot of people who can be snotty and demanding. Most of the time, I'm pretty calm, but, I wasn't that day. Well, about mid-morning, the phone rings, and it's the bus company. Dr. Kurtz, the Superintendent of our School District has just run through flashing lights and stop signs of buses that were parked and unloading kids at one of the schools. The principal of that school was outside when it happened and he saw it and his comment was: "what in the world is she doing?" A driver called in to base to ask what she should do, as the common practice is to take the plate down and report the incident to the Police Dept. Since she IS the Superintendent, the driver doesn't know if she should treat her just like everyone else...........(they didn't do anything to her for the incident, btw) It's just another example of the "good ole boys club" that the administrators in our building have going on. I heard that my boss laughed when he heard about it. We've had teachers having sex with students and a principal of one school carrying on an affair with one of the teachers, and they get a lecture and a slap on the wrist. So, I was shocked, and since I don't think very highly of her anyways to begin with, this added another notch to my stick. Well, somewhere, I get the bright idea that I'm going to share this situation with the ex-dub. We used to talk alot and share dumb things that we heard or saw, among other things. Well, he listened and then began to defend her. He is friendly with her and there is another thing they share. They are both of the same culture. Well, one comment led to another and then ba-boom, I lost my mind and out came this comment...........don't ask me where it came from, because, I have never uttered anything remotely like it in my whole life before, and never will again. He became totally agitated and walked away from me and I guess then went upstairs to one of the administrators and reported me. So, back to the meeting. I didn't want to go into the incident in depth, but, the head of personnel said I had been too vague and since they had this guy's written account of it, he wanted more details, so I tried my best to tell him, even though I was crying really hard and shaking really bad at that point. Everyone was very quiet and then Dr. Kurtz basically asked me about a couple of other things that I had said, one of which was that I didn't respect her. I looked at her and I said that I had said that, it was my personal opinion and she asked me what it was based on, and I said on things I'd heard and seen happen. I didn't elaborate and she didn't ask me to. She took notes now and then. The head of personnel asked if I had any other disciplinary measures in my file, I said no. Someone asked how long I had worked for the BOE and I said 4 years. Oh, I forgot! Before I said anything at all, I apologized to her. I told her that what I had said was totally inappropriate and that I was sorry I had said it. I apologized to her about three times during the whole proceedings. There was a short silence, and Dr. K. thanked me for having the courage to come to the meeting and be honest and not try to downplay or make excuses for my comment. She also said she could see that I was extremely agonized over it and appeared to be sincerely sorry. My US told me later that she felt she was extremely empathetic to me. I felt like such a heel. The UP then spoke up and said "In my opinion Terri has displayed an extremely remorseful attitude and I believe she is sincerely sorry for what she said" He also said that "she also has had no prior disciplinary problems, which should be considered." He then started to feel around as to what Dr. Kurtz might want to do about the situation.........i.e. what kind of punitive measures she was thinking about. She expertly fielded his comment and question and said she knew how agonizing it was to drag it out, but that she did not want to rush into any kind of decision because it is a person's feelings and life she is dealing with. She also said that all the legal areas had to be fulfilled. This means it has to go the the Board of Education, and has to be discussed. She was also going to talk to various administrators and get their input. She then said it would probably be about two weeks. So, we ended the meeting and we got up and left. My UP and US felt it went well, and the UP said she seemed more concered about my saying I didn't have respect for her..........boy, I just was on a roll that day, wasn't I? Couldn't keep my big old mouth shut.................they both felt that I wouldn't lose my job, but that I probably would end up with a written reprimand in my file, and maybe some suspension time. Also, maybe some classes that deal with this type of issue. They have two other precedents on file and neither of those were fired. He then gave me a sincere lecture about appropriate comments and how it is so necessary to be careful what we say and how we say it. He assured me that they would work very hard to get me through this job intact. Then, we all left. Today, I went and apologized to the person I said the things to, who reported me. This is the person I had thought was a friend. It was extremely hard for me to go to him and apologize, because, I have to be honest, I have some resentment towards him. I shouldn't have said what I said, but, as I've already stated, I never expected a "friend" to rat me out. I will never trust this person again and will say hello to him politely, but, he can just forget anything else. Once bitten twice shy. I have no respect for him as a person because of that. So, that's all for now..........and as soon as they tell me what they're going to do to me, I';ll let y'all know.
Love and hugs, and deep gratefulness to all of you!
Terri
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imallgrowedup
Terri -
I'm so glad you still have your job! From what you say, it sounds to me as though when you get back to us in a couple of weeks, you probably will be okay. I also think it was really mature (for want of a better word) of you to admit to the person that you don't have respect for her instead of lying about it. Everybody in that room knew that what the Superintendent did was WRONG - and you had the guts to admit to the elephant in the living room. Additionally, it was very BIG of you to go and apologize to the jerk that turned you in. That would have been an extremely hard pill for me to swallow - you are a better person than me.
Anyway, everyone makes mistakes - the key is learning from them. It sounds like you have learned from yours and it will make you a better person! Way to go!
growedup
P.S. fwiw - if you ever come across something similar to this in the future, you can always blame it on that &*^* Eve. If she wouldn't have eaten that apple, we wouldn't ever get in these messes!
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Sunnygal41
Additionally, it was very BIG of you to go and apologize to the jerk that turned you in. That would have been an extremely hard pill for me to swallow - you are a better person than me.
Growed, here I go again...........I hated doing it. I did it because my US said it would "look good" to the committee that was going to meet with me. I was sincerely sorry for what I said about the Superintendent. I have NO right to ever judge another person or say such awful things. But, what this guy did was a betrayal of my trust in him as a friend. Basically, he looks for "remarks" and "attitudes" all the time. I've since learned this about him. To make matters worse, and to show you what a F##G snake he is, he couldn't just accept my apology or whatever. No, he had to question me, in minutae, but, I bit my tongue and answered him. One thing he did say, which should have stood out loud and clear to him and made him think before he ran to the Admin., he said: "to tell you the truth, I was shocked to hear that from you" I simply said: "I was shocked too" As far as I'm concerned, all he'll ever get from me ever again is a quick hello. I was told that he is looking for a chance to bring a lawsuit against the BOE. I'm going to pm you eventually with some more details privately............thanks for caring and thank you for seeing who I REALLY am, and being so non-judgemental.
Love,
Terri
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Sunnygal41
have a good day Sunnygirl and for gawds sake keep those crazy coloured nipples of yours covered up for a while!
Shotgun! LOL! I love you and your quirky, cute, personality! I love this place and the people here........I share some of the funny, insightful, intellectual, special things that are said with close friends sometimes...........we have such a diverse, intelligent, great bunch of people here. I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone to the best of my ability. Thank you all for being here and for being who you are!
Love,
Terri
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Sunnygal41
I guess everyones vibes thoughts and prayers worked.
OFC, yes, they certainly did! Thank you for caring!
Hugs,
Terri
