letter to family

by kat2u 13 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  kat2u

  I am in the process of writing a letter to my mother.I have been told by family members that she KNOWS im going to come back into the fold.And has thus decided that untill I do she will not be in the same place as I am again.This also includes mt parents 50th wedding anniversary in June.My father wants me there is has never been a jw.But mom has decided that if I attend then she cannot.This all added to the fact that she is in continual contact with my eldest daughter to "keep consistent" in their treatment of me.I am angry and intend to explain to her the fact that i will never be a jw again and to explain to her why.

  I have seen many wonderful letters others have posted to family members.Im just looking for anyone who has any ideas or thoughts that I might be able to use in my letter.

  Thankyou!!!!!
• 

  mouthy

  Oh my heart aches for you Kat...... What a pity your Dad has to lose out of you being there -I dont know what to say..... I love you & pray you will get through this very upsetting time (((HUG))
• 

  rocketman

  I wish I had some suggestions. Even though I can't seem to come up with any, you do have my sympathy kat. The emotional blackmail that jws attempt goes beyond the ridiculous.
• 

  Flash

  I'm sure there are some women here who can give you some good advise. My best is...

  I would gently cause her to question her decision about the 50th whether it's loving to the rest of the family and friends not to show (you know they're 'big' on love). My heart goes out to you, how does anyone reason with zealots???

  PS: Your Fathers feelings MATTER!
• 

  hooberus

  I have seen many wonderful letters others have posted to family members.Im just looking for anyone who has any ideas or thoughts that I might be able to use in my letter.

  Since your parents are elderly, you might wish to mention the fact that the Watchtower teaches that if they die, their bodies will never be resurrected, (thus they will remain in the cemetery grave). What hope is there for a family in a religion like this?
• 

  Joyzabel

  Kat,

  will other family members, besides your dad, be there who are not JW's?

  If it is ok to have "family members" there then gently point out to her that she is acting worse than Jesus ever would.

  Anyway, it was Paul who set up the silly "not to even eat with them" rule. And he was NOT talking about family members.

  How cruel. sheeesh.

  ((((Kat))))

  J
• 

  talesin

  Here's something that helped ...

  My grandmother was a loving warm mother, beloved by all of her 10 kids. I asked my mom if she was happy that HER mother accepted her and loved her unconditionally (grammie was not a JW). How would she feel if HER mother did not want to accept and respect her choices as an adult?

  It got her thinking ... I still was not invited to the 50th anniv. last year (it hurt a lot, since all the 'worldly' nonDF relatives were there, including the wife beater and whoremaster cousins).

  However, she has come to a new understanding that my choices are my own and that I am not a little girl who is finally going to realize that 'mom' is right. It helped her to realize that a love which condones shunning is 'conditional'.

  Gosh, your daughter, too? so sorry {{{kat2u}}}

  talesin
• 

  Teela

  Ask your Dad what he wants you to do. It is an occasion for him, be guided by what he wants.
• 

  bikerchic

  (((((kat2u)))))

  I know this is a really gut wrenching to go through. I dread the day my own Mother finds out I'm an Apostate. I can't tell you how or what to write in the letter, but I would be brief and to the point without condemnation as that would just turn a deaf ear to it. Write from the heart as if it were a letter you would (want) get from your own child.

  I am in the process of writing a letter to my mother.I have been told by family members that she KNOWS im going to come back into the fold.And has thus decided that untill I do she will not be in the same place as I am again.This also includes mt parents 50th wedding anniversary in June.My father wants me there is has never been a jw.But mom has decided that if I attend then she cannot.This all added to the fact that she is in continual contact with my eldest daughter to "keep consistent" in their treatment of me.I am angry and intend to explain to her the fact that i will never be a jw again and to explain to her why.

  1. Let her know the reasons you no longer wish to be a JW *be brief, just the facts*

  2. Honor her request that you not attend HER WEDDING ANNIVERSARY *I think this is important that you honor that it's her party*

  3. Let her know your disdain for talking to your daughter regarding your relationship with YOUR daughter.

  4. Don't bring up old family arguments

  5. Be loving and kind *show true Apostate love, don't let your anger show*

  6. Leave the door open for further discussion at her will rather it be just family business but let her know you are available to help her if for any reason she may need it.

  7. Date it!

  I hope this helps. It does depend on what you hope to accomplish with the letter. I don't know your situation with your parents, but I wouldn't cut off my relationship with her even unless she is abusive and intrusive. If she is either of those last two things I would ask you why would you want to have a relationship with someone who is toxic.

  That said I would just get on with my life and live it as best as I could. Living your life well is the best answer to the old "where will they go" attitude JW's have.

  Write, re-write and maybe have someone who isn't emotionally charged with you ie; a friend who doesn't know all the background read it to get some honest feedback to see if it meets with what you wish to accomplish.

  Good luck and let us know how it goes.

  Kate
• 

  Sentinel

  Even if he isn't a JW, wouldn't your father still be "head of the house". If he wanted you to be there, then I'd go. If your mom doesn't show up at her own celebration, others will note that she is the one with the problem. Do what your heart tells you. Your dad makes up half of that marriage union. Sometimes husbands don't like to be put into a position where they take a stand "against" their mate. (they know how miserable an unhappy or angry mate can make their life) I'm sure he loves you and would want you to be there. He might have to stand up to her in public though, and maybe this would be difficult for him to do. Find out how he feels.

  /<