After 10 months of fading, the elders are gonna pay me a visit....

by Agent Smith 20 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Agent Smith

  I have been fading since the middle of last year. If it wasn't for my wife being a devoted DUB, I probably would not go to the meetings. I go to around 65%-75% of the meetings. When I'm there I dont pay attention though, I'm just drawing or making "to do" lists. My preaching has declined from 15 hours a months to 2 - 4 hours a month. I never raise my hand at the meeting. I never help clean the hall. I just find it funny that it took them this long to realize that I'm not doing well spiritually. I'll let you know how it goes. Not sure when the visit will be. The elders told me it would be within the next few weeks though.

  Anyway, just thought I'd share. Not sure how to tell them that I dont believe in the Borg anymore. Any suggestions?
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  ambush23

  just b blunt, dont beat around the bush, tell them exactly how u feel.
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  metatron

  I discern that you still have a need to avoid being disassociated because of your wife.

  Therefore, avoid discussing anything with the elders. If they say "we'd like to come by and talk" , reply "That isn't necessary,

  no thank you". This usually works in my experience.

  If you must offer a reason, tell people you suffer from depression and say nothing further.

  metatron
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  A Paduan

  Tell them nothing - remain evasive, but, let them absorb that it is something about jwism that has stumbled you - but you can't really discuss it - you need to wait on Jehovah over the matter.
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  franklin J

  my suggestion:

  be honest with your wife; however, I would not share the information with anywone else. I would not allow them ( the local elders) the "recognition" of coming intoYOUR home to "encourage you." Just stop attending and let them figure it out.

  If they come to the home unannounced just refuse to accept them tellling them it is a bad time and perhaps some other time ;" please call first".

  They will get the hint.
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  shotgun

  Does Mrs Agent Smith know why you have been on the decline?

  That will affect how you handle the elders.
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  Agent Smith

  be honest with your wife

  She knows how I feel about the Borg already. She have finally learned to accept how I feel. I think I will just play it off as nothings wrong when the elders come around. This will really piss them off !
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  LittleToe

  A word to the wise - keep schtum

  Fading takes time, and has it's own discomforts, but I understand it can yield it's own rewards.
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  ozziepost

  To quote the hair shampoo ad "It may not happen overnight, but it will happen!"

  That's the reality. Are you prepared? That's the best thing you can do. Make a new life, new friends, new interests, in short, taste freedom!

  Cheers, Ozzie
• 

  Jim_TX

  Been there, done that.

  I recommend that you be courteous - if they say "We'll be by in a few days to talk to you." Just say, "Okay."

  They will do their thing - and leave. _IF_ they come by.

  I found, in my experience, that they feel obligated to drop by - usually when the Circuit O. is in town, or near 'memorial'... special occassions.

  Otherwise, they could care less about YOU.

  So - let them play their games. They will say that they would like to come back - say, "okay." It's a gamble, but the odds are in your favor, that they won't be back.

  When they visit - just sit there and let them babble. They will usually run down after a bit. Don't say too much. Just nod a lot. You might even want to drool a bit. They don't know how to handle that. *grin*

  That is - if you wish to continue to do the 'slow fade'.

  If you want to go out, guns blazing (DF or DA) - that's another story.

  Good Luck.

  Jim TX