Weird/Funny Songs

by simplesally 13 Replies latest social entertainment

  • simplesally
    simplesally
    (Tune: Supercalifragilistic)
    Oh, when I was a little kid, I never like to eat.
    Mama'd put things on my plate,
    I'd dump them on her feet.
    But then one day she made this soup,
    I ate in all in bed.
    I asked her what she put in it,
    And this is what she said:
    CHORUS:
    Oh, chicken lips and lizard hips and alligator eyes.
    Monkey legs and buzzard eggs and salamander thighs.
    Rabbit ears and camel rears and tasty toenail pies.
    Stir them all together, it's Mama's soup surprise.
    I went into the bathroom and stood beside the sink.
    I said, "I feeling slightly ill,
    I think I'll take a drink."
    Mama said "I've just the thing,
    I'll get it in a wink,
    It's full of lots of protein and vitamins I think."

    CHORUS
  • talesin
    talesin

    Here's my favourite:

    (Freakin' At) The Freaker's Ball - Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show (Shel Silverstein)

    Well there's gonna be a freaker's ball (ha ha)
    Tonight at the Freaker's Hall
    And you know you're invited one and all
    Uh oh

    Come on baby's grease your lips
    Grab your hats and swing your hips
    And don't forget to bring your whips
    We're going to the freaker's ball (yes)

    Blow your whistle, and bang your gong
    Roll up something to take along
    It feels so good, it must be wrong
    We're freakin' at the freaker's ball

    Well all the fags and the dykes they're boogie-in' together
    The leather freaks are dressed in all kinds of leather
    The greatest of the sadists and the masochists too
    Screaming please hit me and I'll hit you

    The FBI is dancin' with the junkies
    All the straights, swingin' with the funkies
    Across the floor and up the wall
    We're freakin' at the freaker's ball, y'all
    We're freakin' at the freaker's ball

    Everybody's kissing each other
    Brother with sister, son with mother
    Smear my body up with butter
    And take me to the freaker's ball

    Pass that roach please, and pour the wine
    I'll kiss yours if you'll kiss mine
    I'm gonna boogie 'til I'm cold blind
    Freakin' at the freaker's ball

    White ones, black ones, yellow ones, red ones
    Necrophiliacs looking for dead ones
    The greatest of the sadists and the masochists too
    Screaming please hit me and I'll hit you

    Everybody ballin' in batches
    Pyromaniacs strikin' matches
    I'm gonna itch me where it scratches
    Freakin' at the freaker's ball, y'all
    We're freakin' at the freaker's ball

    We're at a ball
    We're freakin' at the freaker's ball

    a seventies anthem (at least for the freaks, heheheh)

    talesin

  • Love_Truth
    Love_Truth

    Weird Al Yankovic (This Song's Just) Six Words Long lyrics

    This song is just six words long
    This song is just six words long
    This song is just six words long
    This song is just six words long

    Couldn't think of any lyrics
    No I never wrote the lyrics
    So I'll just sing any old lyrics
    That come to mind, child

    You really need words
    Whole lotta rhyming words
    You gotta rhyme so many words, mm-mm
    To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it
    To do it, to do it right, child

    This song is just six words long
    This song is just six words long
    This song is just six words long
    This song is just six words long

    I know that you're probably sore
    'Cause I didn't write any more
    I just didn't get to complete it
    So that's why I gotta repeat it

    This song is just six words long (six words long)
    This song is just six words long (six words long)

    Oh I make a lotta money
    They pay me a ton of money
    They're payin' me plenty of money
    To sing this song, child

    I gotta fill time
    Three minutes worth of time
    Oh, how will I fill so much time, mm-mm
    I'll throw in a solo, a solo, a solo
    A solo, a solo here

    This song is just six words long
    This song is just six words long
    This song is just six words long
    This song is just six words long

    This song's got nothin' to say
    But I'm recording it anyway
    I know if I put my mind to it
    I know I could find a good rhyme here

    Oh, you gotta have-a music
    You need really catchy music
    This song has got plenty of music
    But just six words, child

    And so I'll sing' em over
    And over and over and over
    And over and over and over, mm-mm
    And over and over and over
    And over and over and over again

    Six words long, six words long
    Six words long, six words long
    Six words long, six words long

    This song is just six words long
    It's just six words long

  • dannyboy
    dannyboy

    Mr Spaceman (The Byrds c.1966)

    Woke up this morning with light in my eyes
    And then realized it was still dark outside
    It was a light coming down from the sky
    I don't know who or why
    Must be those strangers that come every night
    Those saucer shaped lights put people uptight
    Leave blue-green footprints that glow in the dark
    I hope they get home all right
    {Refrain}
    Hey, Mr. Spaceman
    Won't you please take me along
    I won't do anything wrong
    Hey, Mr. Spaceman
    Won't you please take me along for a ride
    Woke up this morning, I was feeling quite weird
    Had flies in my beard, my toothpaste was smeared
    Over my window, they'd written my name
    Said, so long, we'll see you again

    (Refrain twice)


  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Here's one from when I was little

    Donut Shop

    Oh I walked around the corner and I walked around the block
    And I walked right into the bakery shop
    I picked up two donuts and I shook of the grease
    And I handed the lady a five cent piece.
    We-e-e-ll she looked at the nickle and she looked at me
    And she said "This here money is no good to me!"
    "There's a hole in the nickle and it goes right through."
    Says I "There's a hole in the donuts too."
  • Love_Truth
    Love_Truth

    They Might Be Giants

    Someone Keeps Moving My Chair

    Mr. horrible
    Mr. horrible
    Telephone call for mr. horrible
    But before he can talk to the ugliness men
    There?s some horrible business left
    For him to attend to
    Something unpleasant has spilled on his brain
    As he sponges it off they say

    Is this horrible?
    Is this horrible?
    It?s the ugliness men, mr. horrible
    We?re just trying to bug you
    We thought that our dreadfulness
    Might be a thing to annoy you with

    But mr. horrible says, I don?t mind
    The thing that bothers me is
    Someone keeps moving my chair

    Would you mind if we balance this glass of milk
    Where your visiting friend accidentally was killed?
    Would it be okay with you if we wrote a reminder
    Of things we?ll forget to do today otherwise,
    Using a green magic marker, if it?s alright
    On the back of your head?

    Mr. horrible
    Mr. horrible
    We?re not done with you yet mr. horrible
    You have to try on these pants so the ugliness men
    Can decide if they?re just as embarrassing as we think
    We have to be sure about this

    But mr. horrible says, I don?t mind
    The thing that bothers me is
    Someone keeps moving my chair

    Someone keeps moving my chair

    Mr. horrible says, I don?t mind
    The thing that bothers me is
    Someone keeps moving my chair

  • roybatty
    roybatty

    Exictable Boy
    Well, he went down to dinner in his Sunday best
    Excitable boy, they all said
    And he rubbed the pot roast all over his chest
    Excitable boy, they all said
    Well, he's just an excitable boy

    He took in the four a.m. show at the Clark
    Excitable boy, they all said
    And he bit the usherette's leg in the dark
    Excitable boy, they all said
    Well, he's just an excitable boy

    He took little Susie to the Junior Prom
    Excitable boy, they all said
    and he raped her and killed her, then he took her home
    Excitable boy, they all said
    Well, he's just an excitable boy
    After ten long years they let him out of the Home
    Excitable boy, they all said
    And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones
    Excitable boy, they all said
    Well, he's just an excitable boy

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    Weird Al Yankovic:

    Young Dump and Ugly

    We're dangerous dudes, we got bad attitudes
    Most of our brain cells are gone
    We were born to be bad, you better not get us mad
    Or we just might toilet paper your lawn
    We got a reputation 'round these parts
    We only leave a 10% tip
    Sometimes we don't return our shopping carts
    Stay out our way and don't you give us no lip

    'Cause we're young... dumb and ugly
    That's what we are
    We're so young... young, dumb and ugly

    We wear black leather in the hottest weather
    You can't imagine the smell
    We got three-day stubble, our name spells trouble
    T-R-U-B-E-L
    Raisin' hell, bendin' the rules just a little
    We're livin' only for thrills
    We squeeze our toothpaste tubes from the middle
    We wait until the last minute to pay our telephone bills

    'Cause we're young... dumb and ugly
    You better believe it
    We're young... young, dumb and ugly
    I'll tell you again
    We're so young... we're so young, dumb and ugly
    We're comin' to your town
    Yeah, we're young... young, dumb and ugly

    We're wild, reckless men, we're on a rampage again
    We drive with just one hand on the wheel
    Danger's in our soul, we're goin' out of control
    Swimmin' right after a big heavy meal
    We're there wherever trouble's startin'
    We're rebels without a clue
    We drink milk right from the carton
    And keep our library books till they're way overdue

    'Cause we're young... dumb and ugly
    That's what we are
    We're so young... young, dumb and ugly
    You can't stop us
    We're young... we're so young, dumb and ugly
    Young, dumb and ugly
    We're young... we're young, dumb and ugly
    So ugly
    Young, dumb... and ugly

    More Weird Al:

    Polka Your Eyes Out:

    Cradle Of Love" by Billy Idol]Hey!
    Rock the cradle of love. Rock the cradle of love.
    Yes, the cradle of love don't rock easy, it's true.
    Rock the cradle of love. I rocked the cradle of love.
    Yes, the cradle of love don't rock easy, it's true.

    ["Tom's Diner" by Suzanne Vega]
    Doo doo doo doo doo doodoo. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo.
    (Doo doo doo doo doo doodoo. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo)

    ["Love Shack" by The B-52's]
    The Love Shack is a little old place where we can get together.
    Love Shack, baby. (Love Shack, baby, Love Shack). Hey!

    ["Pump Up The Jam" by Technotronic]
    Pump up the jam. (Hey!) Pump up the jam. (Hey!).
    Pump up the jam, pump it up.

    ["Losing My Religion" by R.E.M.]
    That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion.
    Trying to keep a view, and I don't know if I can do it.
    (Oh no) I've said too much. I haven't said enough.

    ["Unbelievable" by EMF]
    The things you say, your purple prose just gives you away.
    The things you say, you're unbeleivable. (Oh!)

    ["Do Me!" by Bel Biv Devoe]
    Do me baby, do me baby.
    You can do me in the morning, you can do me in the night.
    You can do me when you wanna do me. Yodalodaladyhoo!

    ["Enter Sandman" by Metallica]
    Exit light. Enter night. Take my hand. Off to Never-neverland.

    ["The Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground]
    The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump.
    Do me baby. Do the humpty-hump. Do the Humpty-hump.
    Do me baby. Do the Humpty-hump. Come on and do the Humpty-hump.

    ["Cherry Pie" by Warrant]
    She's my cherry pie. Put a smile on your face ten miles wide.
    Looks so good make a grown man cry. Sweet cherry pie-yi-yi.
    Whoo!

    Drum solo!

    ["Miss You Much" by Janet Jackson]
    I miss you much (M O I miss you much).
    I really miss you much (M I S S you much).
    I miss you much (M O I miss you much).
    I really miss you much.

    ["I Touch Myself" by DiVinyls]
    Hey, I don't want anybody else. When I think about you I touch myself.
    Oh, I don't want anybody else. Oh no, oh no, oh no no no.

    ["Dr. Feelgood" by Mötley Crüe]
    He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood.
    He's the one that makes you feel alright.
    He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood.
    He's gonna be your frankenstein.

    ["Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice]
    Let's kick it!
    If you've got a problem, yo, I'll solve it.
    Check out the beat while the DJ revolves it.
    Ice ice baby, Ice ice baby. Word to your mother.
    Ice ice baby, Ice ice baby forever.
    I'll be your i-ce i-ce baby (ice ice baby, ice ice baby, ice ice baby) Hey!

    Gotta love Weird Al!

    Kate

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    This is my all time favorite funny song:

    THE I-95 ASSHOLE SONG(Fred Campbell)

    August & The Spur Of The Moment Band - 1983
    Also recorded by Jimmy Buffet; Kip Attaway.


    Well I was drivin' down I-95 the other night
    Somebody nearly cut me right off the road
    I decided it wasn't gonna do any good to get mad
    So I wrote a song about him instead
    It goes like this...

    Were you born an asshole?
    Or did you work at it your whole life?
    Either way it worked out fine
    'Cause you're an asshole tonight

    Yes you're an A-S-S-H-O-L-E
    And don't you try to blame it on me
    You deserve all the credit
    You're an asshole tonight

    You were an asshole yesterday
    You're an asshole tonight
    And I've got a feelin'
    You'll be an asshole the rest of your life

    (Instrumental Break)

    And I was talkin' to your mother
    Just the other night
    I told her I thought you were an asshole
    She said, "Yes, I think you're right"

    And all your friends are assholes
    'Cause you've known them your whole life
    And somebody told me
    You've got an asshole for a wife

    Were you born an asshole?
    Or did you work at it your whole life?
    Either way it worked out fine
    'Cause you're an aaaass...hole tonight

    Sorry if I offended anyone........but it cracks me up! You can listen to it here:

    http://www.neilrogers.com/sounds/bonr1991/37.html

    Kate

  • talesin
    talesin

    bikerchic

    Too funny, you just reminded me of another favorite.

    Denis Leary

    Asshole

    [Spoken]
    Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream. About me. About you. The way our American hearts beat down in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the sub-cockle area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon, we don't know.

    I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job
    I'm your average white suburbanite slob
    I like football and porno and books about war
    I've got an average house with a nic hardwood floor
    My wife and my job, my kids and my car
    My feet on my table, and a cuban cigar

    But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
    (Oh no) No Way (Uh-uh)
    No, I've gotta go out and have fun
    At someone else's expense
    (Oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

    I drive really slow in the ultrafast lane
    While people behind me are going insane

    I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole)

    I use public toilets and piss on the seat
    I walk around in the summertime saying, "How about this heat?"

    I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)

    Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
    While handicapped people make handicapped faces

    I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole (He's a real f**king asshole)

    Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
    Ranting and raving and carrying on
    Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong

    Naaaah!

    I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)

    I love Leary - he cracks me up

    talesin

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