What's The Dumbest Thing Anyone Has Ever Told You?

Well this doesn't relate to JWism, but my ex-fiancée, who had just told me she'd been cheating on me for over a month, told me that it wasn't fair to her for me to be mad at her for cheating on me! Apparently I was supposed to be thrilled or something?!

undercover

In retrospect I guess it would have to be that I was never going to die.

Hyghlandyr

I dont know if this is the dumbest thing, but it racks up there. I am at my girlfriend's house. The doctor just called her father. Yesterday he turned in a urine collection of twenty four hours. Maybe a couple of quarts at best. The doctor told him the test is faulty because he turned in FOUR..count em FOUR gallons of urine! for a TWENTY FOUR HOUR collection!. Last time they rejected his sample claiming he turned in TWO GALLONS. These people are real idiots. Turns out they misplaced the decimel. But shouldnt a doctor know that people dont pee four gallons in a day and that a man with a walker cannot even CARRY that damned much urine by himself?

Phantom Stranger

That my government didn't really tell me that we were invading Iraq due to an imminent threat from WMD?

Stefanie

Thats what I was thinking also. The whole paradise on earth deal.

new light

"What you need to do is find a nice sister to marry."

Elsewhere

Parents:

We have to shun you because you are DAed... could you at least pretend to be a JW?

Badger

Not JW related...but...

While working at a newspaper, I recieved a call.

Me: "Good morning, Press Newsroom"

She (Terminally Blonde voice): Hi! This is Mathis Funeral Home, and I have an o-bit-u-air-ee I need run today...I have one question...."

Me: "Go ahead"

She: "Can a fax machine send a fax?"

Me: (pregnant pause) "Ours does"

Sara Annie

Obviously not JW related, but it sprang to mind immediately reading the topic. One of our IT programmers wrote a complicated internal office program. In the hallway one day, I stopped him and asked how I could alter one of the features that had worked fine initially, but was suddenly malfunctioning during printing. He told me he couldn't fix it--I responded by saying that it was working fine a week ago, and he threw his hands up and said:

"Hey, I can't control how the program reacts."

What the hell do you mean you can't control how the program reacts, jackball? You are the programmer! Isn't your entire job to control how the program reacts?

He is now so afraid of me he won't come to my office alone. Normally, that would bother me. With him, I kinda like it.