Turning in a FORMER friend

by simplesally 33 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  xenawarrior

  Sally:

  It isn't worth it. Any satisfaction you may feel will be short lived.

  I've been in the position that I have known things about people which could cause major problems in their lives and have been faced with them doing some very nasty and hateful things to me, yet I didn't retaliate by opening my mouth- even when they came back for another round of their version of nasty treatment. I figure the way they have acted shows their own lack of integrity and decency and I still have mine intact. Let them live with that fact and laugh like little school children amongst themselves about how much fun it is to treat another human being in such an awful way. But then- I won't feel any angst for them when they lament about how awful they've had it in their lives because they didn't learn a damn thing from it. They are basically continuing on in their lives to treat others in the same way they complain they have been treated themselves.

  Take the high road. It can be very frustrating and very tempting to respond in kind- believe me- I still feel that way now. But in the long run you'll be the better person and they'll still be little school children flailing about in their miserable and shallow existences and you will have shown to yourself that you can rise above it and leave it behind you. The way they have acted is not kindness by any stretch of the imagination and karma is a very interesting thing. And if others choose to believe what they are saying without knowing you- it says something about them as well.

  Hold onto your integrity and your honor- don't give it away just because others have proven they don't have any.

  my 145 cents

  XW
• 

  Dansk

  my 145 cents

  And a jolly good 145 at that! Very well said!!

  Ian
• 

  little witch

  Sally,

  I will answer your question with a question.

  Do you want someone to turn you in and ruin your relationships and your life over information you recently posted? Such would be a firecracker if you were currently involved with the tower.

  IMO there are three steps to exiting as a dub. There are those who wish to hang on to core beliefs but cannot in good conscience break from the slave, but need some semblance of association with the dubs.

  There are "fence setters" who reject the religion completly, but pretend to still comply in order to retain their dignity and relationships.

  There are those who are done in every sense and don't care who knows it, who pay the price for their decisions and go on with their lives.

  To be in any of these catagories is not enviable. Pain and stress accompany all.

  I personally, would not engage in the tactics that I hold as detrimental and hurtful. I would not use my wisdom and growth as a means to hurt others who are not in the better place that I am.

  I think you are a better person than that. I know you have been hurt and humiliated, but you are so over it now.

  I am sure that you would not want to use your own personal growth to "rub someones nose in it".

  There is no gain from doing so. You would not help yourself nor would you help or gain from hurting the other parties if you did such a thing.

  ((((HUGS))))

  You are so intelligent and in a better place now. I would hope that you contemplate and direct wisdom in a better way.

  I don't think you have come all this way just to be tied up in that gossip and smallness so common to the "sisters".
• 

  little witch

  Let me say this another way. I perceive that you are the victim of gossip and tattle-tailing.

  If you engage in the same behavior, you are playing a game by their rules and guilty of the same thing you despise.

  So don't do that. Be the better person and so "heap coals on their heads".
• 

  shotgun

  I side with the don't bother class..

  Like love_truth mentioned on the other htread if there are illegal things or abuse situations even old..report them to the authorities.

  Sally most JW's ...most...are sad and scared that's why they harp on others faults to hide their own.

  If you really want to erk them send them a nice picture of yourself and the youngin together having fun and say:

  I was thinking of all the love and compassion you showed me in such and such congregation and wanted to thankyou and let you know were doing fine.

  I've found great support and friendship with a loving group of JW's....hope things are well with you......Warm christian love Sally

  You don't need to mention it's EX JW's who support you..

  Wait and see if the elders pay you a visit..if they do you know one of these loving people ratted you out yet again....

  It really pisses people off when your nice to them and remind them subtly how unloving they were to you.

  If that doesn't work send them the picture of puternut spanking you...no explanation required
• 

  Farkel

  simplesally,

  What would Jesus do in this situation? The high road is always the better choice, even though the low road is often tempting and temporarily gratifying. Every time I've taken the low road, I've later regretted it.

  Farkel
• 

  simplesally

  Just for the record, I am not going to do it.............I am not going to waste my time. But I would LOVE to do it to her. I would love to see that woman squirm.
• 

  LittleToe

  Tempting, but no. It's their life, not mine.
• 

  little witch

  Sally,

  "I would love to see that woman squirm".

  That is what I want you to get over.

  Don't spend your energy in vengence. Learn from where you have been, and protect YOURSELF from ever feeling victimized in the future.

  This stupid woman has caused you obvious harm. In six months you can be past it. She on the other hand will remain in her error, and has lossed the pleasure of being your friend.

  You are the better person and better off emotionally. Your life will improve and grow, she will remain bitter and lonely.
• 

  gitasatsangha

  Its hackeyed but true, "The best revenge is living well"