"You're an apostate!"

by Swan 35 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Swan

  What would you do in a situation like this?

  You're in a hurry, so want to just grab something quick for lunch in a nearby fast food restaurant and then eat back at your desk while you work. There was a woman standing in front of the condiments area. She had kept looking in your direction and then looking away, but being in a hurry, and somewhat oblivious about things, you don't really pay much attention. So you reached for some napkins and politely say "Excuse me" to the woman standing there with her back to you. She turned around and started yelling in front of everyone. She said something about "You can't talk to me!" or something like that. Then she yelled, "You're an apostate! You've taken the Truth and twisted it with your lies!" Then she yelled something I don't want to repeat here.

  You've been out of the organization 10 years, so you don't know who this woman was or how she knew you. You are wearing a work badge. Maybe she recognized that, but after ten years you didn't recognize her at all.

  You're a rather quiet person when you aren't on the board and not really an in your face type of person. So this really threw you. You got real embarrassed with everyone staring and left the place. What would you have done differently?

  Tammy
• 

  Dawn

  Don't worry Tammy - she made an a$$ of herself in public without you lifting a finger. I bet the customers standing around are all wondering if she forgot to take her meds in the morning. They're probably all laughing about her right now.

  If that ever happened to me I'd look at them - say "I have no idea who you are" and walk off.
• 

  Sassy

  oh wow.. I'm sorry Tammy.. Were you doing a fade? or are you out officially?
• 

  Gopher

  That was rude of the JW.

  What you said to her ("excuse me") is a polite, common, everyday saying.

  She was just being weird and over-reactive. I agree with Dawn, she made an ass of herself.

  If anyone brings up the incident, you have a "witnessing opportunity". You can tell the inquirer that this is how Jehovah's Witnesses treat their ex-members, and isn't that a bit strange...
• 

  simplesally

  You could say, "Are you still in that Cult? If you need help getting out, call me. I am sorry you've gotten so disturbed these last few years." And walk away.
• 

  Sassy

  Yeah.. that is a good one!
• 

  asleif_dufansdottir

  I'm with Dawn, Swan...don't worry about 'what you did wrong' or 'what you could have done right.'

  Since you may run across this person again, I like Dawn's, "I have no idea who you are" response. Sharing openmouthed in shock is always an appropriate response (because you can't believe this person has such poor manners). So is saying, "You are an incredibly rude, if not psychotic, person," and walking away.

  Don't take any of the blame for her actions or accusations.

  Don't let her make you feel guilty.

  Don't let her make you run away, or feel ashamed, in the future. She's the one who "showed her ass in public" (as my grandma used to say), not you.

  I, personally, would not try to avoid her if I saw her again, just so as not to give her the satisfaction of thinking I'm 'ashamed' somehow (it would be very hard, but I'm sure you have done hard things in the past).

  In the end, though, think about what you think is the right thing to do if you are accosted by such a rude and silly person in the future, so at least you are prepared.

  Edited because: Don't all the best responses come too late?

  Say, very carefully, in calm, measured tones, "Ohhhhkaayyy. All those special napkins are yours. You can have them all. I'll just get some from over here." and back away slowly with your arms up. Look at lunch crowd, raise your eyebrows suggestively. Say, "Ik-snay on the apkins-nay" to those watching. Wait for the lunatic to stomp off in a huff.
• 

  shotgun

  That was a disgusting display on her part....

  You could have said...(it's easy after the fact though)....I'm sorry I didn't recognize you, maybe it's because true christians are Identified by the love they display.

  And would you mind not making a public scene it brings reproach on Jehovah's name..

  Now get your ass out the way I'm hungry!
• 

  Hunyadi

  And would you mind not making a public scene it brings reproach on Jehovah's name..

  Now get your ass out the way I'm hungry!

  Ha ha ha, that's how I would handle it.

  I know it is only a matter of time before all those I formerly associated with in the org get wind that I am an apostate. My wife will go ape-sh@t just like that sister you ran into in the shop. My kids will be shunned by everyone and it will be tough, but you know what? To hell with it. It has to happen some time, and I believe it will serve to show my kids what the org is really about. They won't suffer much.

  I recently ran into the PO in my ex-wife's congregation. I had written him a long-ass letter about what the kids had been through living in their mother and stepfather's JW home, and how he was an ass for aiding them in damaging the kids emotionally. I also attached a big file of court documents detailing the abuse. I walked into Kingdom Hall in my abercrombie jeans and flip flops and put the packet into his hands. Months went by and he never responded, and mind you, I have known this man since we were kids. When I bumped into him in the Office Depot, I approached him and calmly asked him why he never responded to my letter. He said, "I didn't know I was suppose to". What an ass.

  That was the clencher for me. I am out, I am proud and I am about to get very loud about it.

  Dont take their crap. And DO get in their faces. (I'm still in the anger stage of my exiting of the org, lol.)

  Best Regards,

  Corvin
• 

  Princess

  I'm so sorry Swan. What an awful person to freak out on you that way.

  I'd say, "no, I can talk to anyone I want because I am free. You are the one who isn't supposed to talk to me." Then I'd very politely tell her to f*&k off and get out of my way so I can get some ketchup.

  But that's me.