Can an ex elder help me please (page 3)

orangefatcat

I guess I am grabbing at straws.

I just want to tell my mother that the society writes something but don't tell the people in the cong. that it is okay to assoiciate with a disfellowshipped person rather they tell them its not alright and you can be disfellowshipped for talking to a person who is disfellowshipped.

Scully babe you are quite right, she did hurt me however she said something to me that day about the fact I am not suppose to be their as its against the organization. And I just think that she and millions of witnesses aren't being told its okay, under certain sets of circumstanses. Howere the PATYATTF book. doesn't even specify what those circumstances are all about.

And Scully she had another bowel obstruction and my aunt emailed me last night to tell me that my mom is discharged from the hospital as the obstruction passed. They told her to cut down on Fibre as she eats too much fibre and they think this may be contributing to her problem.

But whatever the case, I just needed to know that they the witnesses are being mislead. And that the book says one thing and they tell the congregation another and to me this is the purest example of their hypocrisy..

Orangefatcat.

shadow

At least one response from the service department indicated that a person associating with df'd relatives was in danger of losing their privileges (elder, MS, pioneer, etc.) but would not be df'd themselves.

This is from about 2000 or 2001.

nobody told me

Do what is best for your mom and yourself. When I was an elder I can never remember any action taken when it came to association when it involved family members that were d'fed. Elders are told to stay out of family matters, plus what is exactly talked about in conversation is hard to prove.

FYI--- I was d'fed for associating with a disfellowshipped person, but then again I told the elders to blow it out their butt!!! The person I was hanging out with was a old friend. Funny, the Watchtower has association with the U.N. for nine years and thats O.K., but I'm seen once, and its like I committed the crime of the century.

gumby

FYI--- I was d'fed for associating with a disfellowshipped person, but then again I told the elders to blow it out their butt!!!

LOL

You can be disfellowshipped just for telling elders to .."blow it out their fannys."

Many do not understand that a person can be DFed just for a rebellious ATTITUDE......for ANYTHING.

We often here of cases in which some elders Df someone, and the same situation exists with someone else and they are not DFed. Many times it's idiotic elders who don't know their asses from a hole in the ground and do not follow proper proceedure......and many times it's the attitude and NOT the actuall wrong that was commited by the Dfed one. In other words ...a person could be DFed for a non-disfellowshipping offence.......if their attitude was contrary in a strong enough manner.

Gumby

shaq

Sorry to hear about your mom.

As far as you visiting her, the ball is really in her court. If you have a functional relationship with her and she would not object to your visiting her, the elders will not interfere, as long as you do not bring up religion or the reason you left the Organization. Keep your visits on track, don't bring up any issues, and your visiting her will be a positive thing.

Shaq

Sassy

OFC, I didn't comment in here yesterday, because I know you were looking for direction from an ex elder. I wanted to give them time to comment in here first.

I too was thinking about the last time that you saw your mother and how hurt you were. Although I also seem to remember that there was a small indication of love on her part, something she might have felt she couldn't outloud make huge efforts about, but just the same the sign was that it was there. I know me. If my mom was in the hospital, I'd be there or at least calling or something no matter my condition. As others have said, every body of elders is different. Although I haven't been out long, my sister has and when ever she was in the hospital or my mother was, that was the one time my mother's body of elders told mom it was ok to be with her or converse with her. Sometimes I think mom actually appreciated when one of these excuses came up so she could contact her guilt free or w/o discipline. The whole irony of it was, that as much as my sister wanted her love, the rollercoaster of mom calling everyday to make sure she was ok (or letting her call mom when she was ill) ended the minute the 'emergency' medical care was improved and back to normal health. Once my sister was really ill and being tested for a serious disease and she didn't even let my mom know. She figured why tell her so she can be in her life for 5 minutes, but not later when she needed mom just as a mom in her life. It's bitter sweet and hurts.

That is the only thing I feel bad about.. really bad about. I miss my mom. I know you want to fight with their words to show your mom things. Just most of all keep yourself emotionally safe. Don't hurt you. If she wants to see words to give her reason to see you, it is one thing but if you are only fighting to prove something, a battle that you may not win, then I am concerned how much it will hurt you.

Now.. saying all that.. I would probably in your place want to do the same thing.. you have to do what you have to do.. and while you do, we are here for you.. always.. unconditional.

Sassy

Mulan

My former elder hubby says, it really all depends on the local body of elders. Some of them are SOB's, looking to df all the time, and others are rather kind, compassionate men.

If I were you, I would visit my mother, and "to Hell with the rest of them".

roybatty

That having been said, Elders can be fickles beasts, and if it suits them they might just do that.

This and what Mulan wrote pretty much sums it up. Even on the body of elders I was on, some of us (like me) had a "live and let live" attitude. Others were always on a witch hunt. For example, a few years back the Society directly body of elders to find those in the territory who no longer go to the meetings. On the surface, it was direction from the Society to "help those who have become spiritually weak." But we elders knew it was meant to root-out those who were still JW's but were leading a "worldy" life. Each of us elders were given names and address to contact. Some of us tried to contact these people once, found no one home, and reported back "oh, they must have moved away." Other elders went hunting, tracked these people down, hoping to find them doing something that could lead to df'ing. And many of them were.

So, to make a long story short, it's all up to how the local elders view you and if they're uptight or laid back.

starfish422

Hmmm. Tough call. I wanted to let you know, though, that I am sorry about your mom and about the dilemma you're finding yourself in. I think Scully's advice is good.

((HUGS)) You're in my thoughts.

orangefatcat

I really want to thank all of you, for you kind words and thought. I was just hoping that my mom would want to see me but I guess she doesn't obvisiously want me to contact her. All I wanted to tell her is that I was worried about her and hope she wasn't going to have a major operation. And remind her that I love her. I must be the fool. My mother listens to every word my sisters husband tells her since my father passed away. And my brother in law has never liked me and with him being an elder now I know he would tell my mom not to get involved with me. I know him, he is a real rat and has an ego bigger than his head. I was wishing my mother had more common sense and would at least listen to her heart rather than him. I know he is the reason. When my dad died, I was still in the org. and even when dad was dying in the hospital he told me not to go in and see my dad and I told him listen buddy boy that is my dad and your not anybody. So if I want to see my dad talk to his doctors or whatever I will. He didn't like it. He is a control freak. Even his one son is afraid of his father because his father is so narrowminded and only sees black and white just like my mom. They make a perfect pair.

So if my mother hasn't got it with in her heart to contact me, I guess to her I am no longer important, so if thats the way she wants to be so let. I can't do anything about it. It just hurts because she said she loved me. I must be stupid to have hoped she would have called me. Oh well its this way with her and I guess I have to accept it. I find myself hating her now for what she and they have all turned out to be. Yes i sure made a mistake and fixed it but it was n't within the congregation, it was between God and me, and my mom knows how easily I get upset and hurt. But I assume its all my fault as I am the one that walked out of the organization and now I am paying for it.

Life sometime stinks and today that is how I am feeling down and depressed and in pain both physically and emtionally. Lifes a bitch

Love Orangefatcat.

Can an ex elder help me please

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