Bethel automatic phone answering system.

garybuss

Bethel automatic phone answering system.

Phone rings . . .

Computer answers . . . .

"Jehovah's Earthly Organization, please listen to the following menu."

If you were never baptized as one of Jehovah's Witnesses press "one". Dial tone
If you are baptized and believe The Governing Body Is the Faithful And Discreet Slave but have a question, Press "two". Long delay then dial tone.
If you are baptized and don't believe The Governing Body Is the Faithful And Discreet Slave, Press "three". Dial tone. Caller ID noted and forwarded.

If you are calling to report child abuse press "four". A recorded message plays, "Wait on Jehovah, wait on . . . skip, wait on . . . skip, wait on . . .skip, . . . . "
If you are calling to donate money or real estate, press "five". Three attorneys answer the phone at the same time.
More?

Mulan

thanks for the chuckle.

twinkletoes

VERY FUNNY :)

blondie

The WTS thinks they are the phone operator that connects us to heaven. That was funny, Gary. It made me think of one of my favorite songs.--Blondie

OPERATOR (Manhattan Transfer)

Operator
Give me information
Information
Give me long distance
Long distance
Give me heaven...

(Two, three)
Operator
Information
Give me Jesus on the line
Operator
Information
I'd like to speak to a friend of mine
Oh prayer is the number
Faith is the exchange
Heaven is the street
And Jesus is his name
Operator
Information
Please give me Jesus on the line

Operator
Information
Won't you tell me why
Tell me why
Operator
Information
Don't try to tell me
What number to call
My mother used this number
When I was very small
And everytime she dialed it
She always got 't call the
Operator
Information
Please give me Jesus on the line

Operator
Information
Please hurry if you can
Oh Operator
Information
Please connect me
With the man
Don't worry 'bout the money
You know I will pay the charge
Just give me on the line
I'm callin' from my heart
Operator
Information
Please give me Jesus on the line
Please give me Jesus on the line

Won't you please -
Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus on the line

Yeah!

wednesday

Gary u are too funny, the WTS should be more careful who their enemies are. LOL

ball.

Perhaps they could get with the times and outsource the call centre to Mumbai

and charge £1.00 a minute

(shit - I don't want to give them ideas now)

garybuss

If you are baptized and need a ride to and from the meeting, press "zero". Dial tone.

Poztate

If you are calling to donate money or real estate, press "five". Three attorneys answer the phone at the same time.

Gary,

I think I got the same answer the last time I phoned them.

Wallflower

Nice one Gary. A few more.....

If you are not a baptised JW and would like a Bible study, you are put through to the donations dept. If you have a touch tone phone you can auto dial your bank account/credit card details and the amount of donation.

If you are a baptised JW and have a query about the UN scandal, you are tranferred automatically to your local library, ticketing dept.

If you phone to question beliefs and doctrine you are put through to a deaf elder reading Insight into the Scriptures.

Panda

Very funny Garybus... I think it's so funny because it's so close to true.

Bethel automatic phone answering system.

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