by moshell 11 Replies latest social relationships
Hi. I'm new here if you haven't guessed.
So, theres this guy, and I really like him. He's Jehovah's Witness and I'm not. I don't know much about it, am willing to learn, and want to know if he is able to see me. He's only 17, and I don't know if it matters! help! Any ideas?
-m
Hi Moshell,
welcome to the forum. The persons who post here are former Jehovahs Witnesses, or current and are in the process of leaving.
If your friend has been raised as a Jehovahs Witness, and his parents are also part of the faith; he will most likely not get involved with anyone outside of the religion. This is no reflection on you; it is the way they are taught to behave to outsiders.
Be aware that the Jehovahs Witnesses are an "all embracing religion". They do not tolerate any outsiders unless you convert to their way of life. I am sure your parents would not like you to get involved. Listen to them about this.
My advice is to be friendly with him; keep your options open and date other guys also.
best of luck to you, Frank
You've got a lot working against you.
1) JWs are supposed to date other JWs ONLY
2) JWs cannot date until they reach maturity (in their early 20s).
3) JWs can only date if they're looking for a marriage partner
Your best bet is to find another guy who is NOT a JW. There's plenty out there, and your chances will be much better at getting a date. I know it's difficult to control who you're attracted to, and it's a fun challenge getting something that has been marked as "off limits", but you'll save yourself a lot of trouble if you take your focus off him.
moshell,
At seventeen his blood is bound to be running hot through his veins.
A simple test to determine whether he likes you in return is to engage in wild and passionate sex with him (I am sure it would be easy to arrange matters). After the event, be sure to organise that his parents are aware of the happening, and also to advise the older men (authorities) in his church.
Both parties will be overjoyed with this news and will be only too happy to share in this bonding of two young ones.
cheeses - always willing to counsel the searching.
Make him a non-jehover and all will be bliss, LOL!
Everything that you have been told so far is true, but it is also true that many, many JW youths are leading "double lives" - pretending to be on the "straight and narrow" around their parents and elders, and doing "la vita loca" when no one sees.
If you REALLY like him, you may be able to seduce him out of the cult - ultimately, you would be doing him a favor by doing so, but if this happens, it could mean some difficult times for him, as he will be shunned by the JW community if he leaves.
"What is shunning?" you ask. Shunning is when the entire religious community, including your own parents and other members of your family if they too are JWs, treat you as though you were dead -- refusing to talk with you, hang out with you, have any sort of social interaction with you. It is a VERY severe form of psychological punishment, and the fear of shunning is what keeps many JWs in the CULT, even when they know that the doctrines and dogma are all baloney. Of course, the JWs will tell you that it is all "bible based?."
The world is not going to end any day now - even though the JWs have been saying it will for more than 100 years.
The wisest thing you can do is find a fellow who is not a JW and avoid wasting your energy and emotions on those who are; but there are always exceptions to the rule, you know.
Thanks everyone. Now I'm worried. I can't just stop crushing on someone, and obviously my heart is going to be broken. But I'm going to still pursue him. And no, I will not be having sex with him anytime soon, thats just against my beliefs. I need more advice. What should I do!?!?!?!
First, buy a rubber hammer.......
For personal use of course! You will need it if you really want to get involved with this person and his silly religion. Maverick
As a guy that remembers dating a nonJW when he was a 17 year old JW, go out with him. It will end will probably end badly, but he will have the time of his life.
If you forget about him and move on you will be a little sad and brokenhearted and then you will get over it and move on with the rest of your life.
If you pursue it and become deeply involved with him you will hurt beyond what you can possibly imagine and will probably end up much worse than broken hearted.
The possible tragic endings are endless. The chances of him leaving the cult are slim but not none. The chances of him staying in the cult and carrying on a meaningful, lasting relationship with you are very slim.
There are a lot of great guys your age out there that would not cause you as much heartache.
