Whats been your greatest personal Struggle?

ScoobySnax

Whats been yours? Be Honest.

I know mines always been trying to reconcile being gay and being JW. As I was growing up it was like being in the middle of 2 polar opposites both tugging at me day in day out, sometimes trying to understand one whilst ignoring the other and vice versa. Of course the worst was trying to live and acknowledge both that really did crack me up. When I started getting panic attacks, and finally lost it altogether 4 years ago, I was lucky to have a fantastic mum and family that didn't shun me at all and let me know that whatever, I was still their son and brother, and support me.

Its not like I'm some kind of saddo now, I've got a good social circle of friends, a good social life and a good career. I've had a couple of fantastic relationships and one awful one recently that spun me out again totally. I guess thats what made all the stuff re-surface again that I guess never went away in the first place. I just buried that other part of me. I do miss the meetings and the Truth, but I don't have the guts to commit back to that life again. I guess I'm just lazy. I wonder if my life had been like most peoples you imagine are, you know married 2 kids lovely car, pet dog etc etc....if I'd be or feel any different now.... but then I guess I wouldn't be really me then, I just don't know!. I'm 33 now and this struggle is getting a bit tired for me. Whats that word........"Closure?" I don't think I'll ever feel that. Thats my struggle.

Whats yours?

Scoob

little witch

"I guess I just buried that other part of me".

There's your trouble.

And Scooby, if you think that we all have perfect kids, cars, sucess, and no pain, well you arent reading 95% of what is posted here.

Have you ever tried connecting with others using common ground?

Flash

For me it's the estranged relationship I now have with my daughters.
I'm E-V-I-L now don't-cha know.

I do miss the meetings and the Truth, but I don't have the guts to commit back to that life again.

Why not go now and then for the Public Talk?

codeblue

Learning "how to pick up the pieces of my life" after the knowledge that for 37 years I was in a cult.

I keep asking myself: What do I want to do with my life now?

ScoobySnax

Little Witch

If I didn't think 95% didn't have the same/similar just as difficult problems here, I wouldn't be posting it on this forum now would I. And you know as a nurse being able to connect to others is sort of a requisite for the job.

Do you struggle LW?

Scoob

talesin

don't have the guts to commit back to that life again

You are not lazy. This doesn't mean that you are a coward - holy smoke, you are perfectly okay the way you are man!! The only way to fit their mold would be to live a lie. Commiting to that life would be just that - commitment to an institution (one that says you are evil for just being who you are).

Realizing that I don't fit in with my family ranks right up there in the 'personal struggle' list, scooby. So on that level, I understand how you feel ... keep searching for inner peace. They are not right, they just aren't. Stop denying it, and start learning how to love yourself just the way you are.

talesin

Scully

Scooby:

I don't have the guts to commit back to that life again. I guess I'm just lazy.

You aren't lazy, not at all. It is a life that wasn't allowing you to commit to being true to your"self". No wonder you found it so difficult. (((( Scooby ))))

Love, Scully