by ScoobySnax 49 Replies latest jw friends
# I have no answers anymore. And I have no comfort. That is what I struggle with..#
[[[[[Cerise Rose]]]]]
OH, Sweetie!!!
I don't have any answers, either........but you DO have a LOT of folks who understand how painful this all is.......and THAT counts for something.
hugs,
Annie
My greatest struggle thus far has been living without a family for the past couple of years. When I left I knew it was going to be difficult but there are times when I wonder if it was the right thing to do.
At times when I'm especially stressed from a long day at work and seeing how stressed my son is after spending over 50 hours a week in preschool, I find myself thinking that being a JW wasnt bad enough to give it up for this.
Even with all the abuse I went through growing up and the near breakdown I had after being df'd, I cant think of anything that hurts more than having no family. Its not unlike someone whose entire family gets killed in a crash or something. Except that in that case people would probably rally around them and support and help them get through. No one rallys around when you lose your family to a cult. Your supposed to just slip right into society and carry on.
The solution is simple..make friends replace the family with new and wonderful people. But its a catch 22, when you work and commute long hours to survive without family assistance that leaves little time for social activities or god forbid dating (what is that anyway?). and without family assistance, finding affordable daycare for those rare occasions where a social activity may be possible is nearly impossible.
so replacing my family is my greatest challenge and as yet remains unresolved.
i'm not usually this miserable about it, i can usually keep my chin up and know for sure things will change for the better. but today i feel glum. therefore, i vent. :)
flower
Flower,
Please have a BIG HUG. I know it won't help you much, but I am very moved by reading of your reality. You know, when I was in I rarely got any help from JWs or family. My last congo just didn't give a damn about anyone but their own immediate families.
If you lived near me, I'd sure help you out. My children are raised. They were very damaged by being raised in the JW way. Your son would be much worse off being deprived of every joy normal, happy children should have.
Lots of children whose parents are together, who are not JWs, spend their days in day care. It doesn't have to be a negative. My brother and I went to nursery school. It was a lot of fun. My mother wasn't a JW. The one thing that could have made it a better experience would have been for mom to reassure us at home. Just love us lots and talk to us about our day.Comfort us about naps and things that weren't our favorite.
I have so many good memories of field trips, walks to the square to feed the pigeons and goldfish, plays we put on, the food they served. I loved swimming in the summer, playing in the sand in the backyard, climbing trees, playing with the tiny frogs and snails in the garden and playing on the swingsets, etc. I recall swinging on the horseswings singing Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer with my friends at the top of our lungs. What a free feeling to be five years old and gliding through the air, singing with your friends.
Flower, eventually you will make friends. You are such a kind person here on the forum. And remember, your son is having postive experiences at preschool, even if he seems mostly unhappy. Just hug him lots and spend some time with him each day. Use your commute to ask about his day. My grown children still fondly remember our drives home from school when I would ask them about their days. They tell me it made them feel important.
(((((((Flower))))))))))))
Flyin'
# i'm not usually this miserable about it, i can usually keep my chin up and know for sure things will change for the better. but today i feel glum. therefore, i vent. :) #
[[[[[Flower]]]]]
We ALL have times when things get to us, especially when you feel as if you have NO one close by to hang out with or vent on. The evil Witchtower makes SURE that we view ANYONE other than JWs (and even some of THEM) as "baaaad association"....so when one decides to leave, you HAVE cut off all your former friends and your relatives---and you're left high and dry. They planned it all very carefully to keep everyone in line.
I developed a "support group" as such, online, and have "met" some great people who "understand" the crap of the WTS completely, and have offered advice and shoulders to cry on more than once. They have helped ME more than I can say. I even had a total stranger make arrangemnts through a member of this board (who used to be on another board no longer running) and she sent me a box of books as a gift , that were a tremendous help. I will always be grateful to her (and him!) for thinking of me and my plight, and coming to my "rescue", never asking for anything in return.
Take care, Flower, and give the little one a hug for me....
Annie
being me is my greatest personal struggle, the things that have happened in my life, good or bad seem to just be distractions i've created or used to distract me from myself.
Life.....I struggle with it everday
thanks sunspot and flyin, i appreciate the support online it does make a huge difference!
annie, i'm sorry to hear how hateful your family members have been. i dont think i will ever understand treating family like that even though i have been through it too. its inconcievable.
hugs of support to everyone overcoming their struggles.
I've been trying my hardest to quit playin with myself so I won't die in armaggedon
Seriously.....I would say my struggle is ' not being content with not having answers to lifes questions such as......who put us here and why' ? It reflects in your life in a big way.......at least it does mine.
Gumby
Your a liar Gumby.....I know what your biggest struggle is and it would crush a lesser man....manly hug bro(())
Your right shotgun. I guess it bugs me more than what I mentioned. If that struggle were gone.......then the one I mentioned would be easier to handle. A gay manly hug to you too bro.
Gumby
