by Elsewhere 30 Replies latest jw friends
Have you ever "been with" someone only to discover that there was absolutely no sexual chemistry... no matter what either of you did, it was just not satisfying?
I've had that happen with a woman before and it made me start wondering... how often does this happen to people who get married after being abstinent? How does this affect the marriage? Is this a big problem for Christians and other religions that encourage abstinence before marriage?
I've had that happen with a woman before and it made me start wondering...
Why Do I find that hard to believe?
*** Smacks XJW upside the head with Mr. Johnson ***
You 'n Darla been out behind the barn again, Alfalfa?
Damnit! Just answer the question!
What was the question again?
Oh yes...
That may encourage abstinence after the marriage too...
If you're trully abstinent...how would ya know that's not the way it's suppossed to be? Those few people I've talked to about the subject who really waited generally don't have a problem in that area now.
LOL @ Elsewhere!
*** Smacks XJW upside the head with Mr. Johnson ***
Are there any other body parts you've named that we should know about?!!! *thinking, "gee, what does he call his hands?" and hoping it isn't "Mr. Sluggo"!*
*also wondering if Mr. Johnson could bear some responsibility for the lack of chemistry Elsewhere has described*
*now hiding from Elsewhere in case he really has named his hands Mr. Sluggo!* LOL!
Have you ever "been with" someone only to discover that there was absolutely no sexual chemistry... no matter what either of you did, it was just not satisfying?
Yes.
how often does this happen to people who get married after being abstinent?
More often than you may think. It also happens to people who weren't abstinent before they got married who foolishly thought that the "M" word would make it better. One would think that people in either camp would be just a tad smarter than to think chemistry that is absent prior to marriage will suddenly explode into passion once they become married. But alas, that is not the case.
How does this affect the marriage?
Truthfully, it takes a lot of pressure off the marriage. But it also makes for an "empty" marriage, even if you are both best friends.
Is this a big problem for Christians and other religions that encourage abstinence before marriage?
Depends on your definition of "problem". If a party to an "empy" marriage has lust in one's heart for another but doesn't act on it, is that a problem? Is it a problem if they do?
hmmmmmmm.......
growedup
*** Smacks XJW upside the head with Mr. Johnson ***
Perhaps, you've identified the problem here, .... you find the other gender more appealing.
If you're trully abstinent...how would ya know that's not the way it's suppossed to be? Those few people I've talked to about the subject who really waited generally don't have a problem in that area now.
So it is insecurity in one's ability to perform that compels a man to want to marry a virgin? This reminds me of how my research into words such as ?fornication? and ?adultery? showed that they have their origins in property rights. The gods of old did not consider such things to be ?immoral?? the problem was that if a man had sex with an unmarried woman, her father had to sell her off for less because she was then considered ?damaged goods?. Adultery was considered ?theft of property?? sort-of like our modern ?unauthorized use of a vehicle?. All of these ?moral? principals in the bible come down to men being afraid that they women were not sexually satisfied and craved the attention of another man. Bottom line: Ego and insecurity
