Where shall I begin? I once spent some time living in a womens refuge with my four children escaping from the domestic violence and emotional abuse that my husband deemed to be appropriate to bestow upon us. Apparently he had the blessing of my congregation to do so. I, of course (as most JW wive's do) put up with it for a period of time. Sufficient to say that there was a point when reason took over the JW logic.
Anyway, time moves on....I am now studying a degree course at my local University. Myself and my four beautiful children left him to make a new life on our own.
On a day to day basis, I walk past the place that provided me with a roof over my families head before we found another place to live. I study but a stones throw away from the refuge and I happen to park right over the road from the place that I once called home. (It feels safe)! As it would happen, I was walking towards my car after my lectures, and who should I see stood right outside of the door of the refuge I once lived at?...........A J.W. Elder from my old congregation!
I was absolutely gobsmacked!
There he was with his smart leather breifcase and N.W.Translation in hand, knocking on the door of my old home, the place where I was abandoned and left for dead. The place where I was left to pick up the pieces of my broken life and forsaken to forge a new life for my three children and 10 week old baby. Of course being a woman, I was treated as a second class citizen by the JWs. My protests of the abuse that my children and myself endured were largely left to jehovah's mercy. "Pray more", "Do more hours", "Find another Bible Study", were the usual responses to my cries for help!
And there I was today, faced with the Elder that was putting in a few more hours to make his measley monthly report seem good!
As I approached him, I certainly recognised him, if not by his looks but by his obvious JW demeanor. But what really pissed me off was the fact that there he was , standing on the door step of the womens refuge with all of those strong but broken women inside there that were hurting and sad, lonely and lost. And there he was like some f***ing rescuer that was there to save them! But I'll tell you what....He didn't rescue me! He didn't even visit me. He never helped me to set up home or ask after my kids! He just abndoned me like everything else that didn't fit with JW philosophy. And so did every one else!
All I could say to him as I walked past him was: "You're message won't be appreciated to those that are inside of there"! and as I walked on my anger and rage increasd!
I wanted to say to him "You two faced bastard" and dredge up a lot of shit, and as I got into my car, I felt like driving a full circle and pulling up along side of him and telling him who I was and how I felt. But then the power of reason......my reason..... overcame me.....and I thought .....f*** you, you sad bastard, at least I am free from the restraints that were once imposed upon me. However, you are still under that very same rule that you were taught.
Emancipation is a wonderful thing!