"Sharing" a piece of myself - part 4

by Tallyman 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • Tallyman
    Tallyman

    If you don't want to read the small text, I've made an identical webpage
    to the print appearing below @
    * http://www.intrex.net/tallyman/Sharing4.html
    where the text and font are larger and more legible.
    ____________________________________________________

    Changing subjects somewhat- a few words of advice to you folks:

    Never Trust the Police or any branch of law enforcement, or the judiciary.
    They do not have your best interests at heart.

    Never trust the Media (any form of it) and do not cooperate with them,
    because they have their agenda, and again, not your best interests at heart.

    Never Believe you are completely exonerated, even when a jury of your peers
    decides you are Not Guilty after a lengthy trial process and publicity of their
    final verdict. You will never be 100% exonerated of what you were originally
    falsely accused of. There will always be people out there who will think you
    are a murderer, that you beat the rap, that you got a slick enough lawyer to
    get you off, that you may've even bribed someone to insure a positive outcome...

    And I've gathered there are quite a few women here on Simon's Discussion board
    who have been the victims of abuse and domestic violence at the hands of their
    mates... and maybe some, especially those jWs who are lurking, STILL are the
    victims of abuse and are suffering violence from their jW husbands...
    and women are the targets of domestic violence and abuse far more than men.
    (thankfully, there were SEVEN WONDERFUL WOMEN on my jury)

    When I was emailing at length to a Woman reporter from the News and Observer
    about my case, after my trial was over with, because she wanted to do a
    'Human Interest-type' piece, and I cooperated and responded to her questions...
    she, at one point asked me:

    "Why did you keep on living with your brother if things were so bad?"
    ( - words to that effect -)

    And this is how I replied to Andrea Weigl, the woman reporter, a reply
    to a woman, in a way I'd hoped a woman would understand :

    * http://www.intrex.net/tallyman/AWeigl.html

    Strangely, after I responded to her question, she kind of went mute
    and did not respond to my response, whereas before, she had responded
    to my other responses and had been really chatty.

    There's no problem giving out her email address, for she is a reporter.
    Her email address appears every day in The News and Observer.

    Hey, maybe someone would like to write her and tell her more about me.
    Maybe she'll do another story on me. Tell her about the fictitious Tallyman,
    the KultKrimeFighter and what his Krusade is all about...
    and that way I'll be flushed out from Invisibility
    _________________________________________________
    _________________________________________________
    _________________________________________________

    But for those women here on the Discussion Board who have husbands
    or mates who abuse them, not just verbally in brow-beating them,
    but actually beat them physically... think long and hard before you take action.

    If it gets to the point that he threatens to kill you, and has repeatedly beaten you and bloodied you and bruised you and cut you and broken your bones and has
    even burned you... and you've called the police on him to respond to a "Domestic",
    and that got you nowhere and nothing but more abuse, and maybe you even took him to court after filing assault charges against him, but that turned out to be a big fat joke and the judge let him off with the lightest sentence he could render,
    something like 'Prayer For Judgment'...

    ...and your mate or husband is still hurting you and if you get boxed into a situation, like painted into a corner with No-Way-Out... and you think: "This is it!" He's going to make good on his threats this time and kill you and assaults you again and sheds your blood to give you a big signal of what's coming... next... and you have it in your power to defend yourself...

    My advice, before you take action - even if you have an eyewitness -
    think about this ahead of time - you might just want to stand there or slump there
    and let the guy go ahead and kill you dead...

    because if you DO DEFEND YOURSELF and wind up killing him, taking his life...
    no matter how much 'in the right' or 'justified' you think you were,
    you will never again feel "right" about it.

    You will put a stain on your soul that will not come off.

    That, plus you could be hauled in and made the aggressor, instead of the victim
    by a jackleg law enforcement officer, or officer of the court, who may be so
    incompetent and/or deceptive, they will remind you of the standard WT Elder.

    You will be put through hell and if you are charged with a crime,
    and once charged, that false accusation will never go away, no matter if you wind up having to go through the entire legal system and process and be declared Not Guilty.

    You will find out who your real friends are in a situation like that, and be mighty
    surprised at who you thought were your friends, really aren't. Same with relatives.
    So, my advice is, think hard about these "consequences". Think about it now.

    _________________________________________________
    _________________________________________________
    _________________________________________________

    And COMF,
    one last thing.
    The comment you made in a thread to me a few days ago-
    * http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=6768&site=3
    after I criticized your favorite poem, ...you inquired:

    "Struggling inside a little bit these days, Tom?
    That's okay. Rant on, dude, it's good for the soul." - COMF

    Hell yes, I'm struggling inside these days. More than a little bit.
    I killed my brother. No matter the circumstance, I will ALWAYS
    be struggling with it. I'd have to be a Sociopath not to be struggling with it.

    I'll be struggling with it until I meet the Real Captain Of My Soul,
    the Real Master and stand before him, and hopefully be granted
    some form of absolution from the pain of my "struggles".

    Why do you ask, COMF? Because you really care?

    "Okay", how did you like my "rant", dude?

    Was it "good" for your "soul"?

    _________________________________________________
    _________________________________________________
    _________________________________________________

    NOW do I get any of those ( ( ( H U G S ) ) ) , for "sharing" ?

    A n y o n e ?

    I'm a victim

    and

    I shared.

    .

  • Fredhall
    Fredhall

    Nice Soap Opera.

  • notperfectyet
    notperfectyet

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS TOM}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    I am very sorry for what you have been, and are going through.

  • waiting
    waiting

    Hey Tally,

    I'm a victim

    and

    I shared.

    I am a victim of child rape/beatings, but I was a child, and what good does it do to even think about fighting back? Just hang your head and escape in your mind. Which is what I did.

    Unless someone is a victim of like abuse, they just won't understand. Some men will never understand a woman's stand (or lack thereof) or vice versa. Guess it's human nature.

    I do understand - and I understand the stigma to a certain degree. "Well, you could have run away. I would have killed the SOB." etc." Does the victim little good, as they just feel even lower.

    (((((((((((((((hug for Tally))))))))))))))))))

    And I mean it.

    waiting

  • WildHorses
    WildHorses

    Dear sweat Tom,

    You must forgive yourself. We all know that it was self defense.
    You know, unless you forgive youself. You will never begin to heal.

    Do not listen to those who curse you, they do not know you, and unless they have been in your shoes they should keep their mouth shut.

    I wish I had the words to give you comfort. I feel the pain you are going through just by reading the words you wrote.

    As for the reporter. I believe she did not respond because what you wrote to her hit the nail on the head. With your being sick you had no other choice but to stay there. I understand as I would have stayed too had I no place else to go.

    {{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}
    Lilacs

  • ianao
    ianao

    Tallyman:

    I would have done the same thing if I were in your situation Tallyman. You are far stronger a man than I, though. If I were to kill my bi-polar brother, even in self-defense, I don't think I could handle the pressure of ending another human's life. I would probably end my own as well.

    You're not as weak and frail as you think you are Tallyman. To have survived with wits intact for this amount of time shows strength of character and sheer will-power.

    Thanks for sharing your story with us.

    Your still ok with me man.

  • riz
    riz

    Tom,

    I just read your series of posts. That took a LOT of courage to share with us what you just shared.

    I know you are a very intelligent man. I know that in your situation, you did what you had to do. Your posts made me want to cry. I can only imagine what you have been going through.

    To my knowledge, I have never given anyone a ((((hug)))) on this forum. But for you, I will. ((((((((Tom)))))))) Enjoy it. I don't just go 'hugging' people willy-nilly.

    Hang in there, Tom. You are one of the main reasons I keep coming here. You are a great guy and I hope you find comfort in the fact that there are people here who count it a privelege to consider you a friend.

    riz

  • safe4kids
    safe4kids

    Tom,

    I can only echo what others have already said: that you show courage and strength in sharing your story with us. Thank you for that.
    AND:

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Tom}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    Dana

  • jst2laws
    jst2laws

    Tallyman,

    I was only a lurker on H20 back in August but remember Farkel fighting someone who faulted him for defending you. I didn’t have a clue what was going on. I’m glad many others who did know were supportive. Thanks for sharing the whole story with us.

    Fredhall,
    “soap opera”?? Fred, you challenge my calm spirit. It would appear you have evaded tragedy throughout your life to respond with such indifference. Or, perhaps, you too have suffered such unspeakable abuse in your past that this is your way of defense or denial. Whatever the case, you need help dude.

    Jst2laws

  • tergiversator
    tergiversator

    Hey Tallyman,

    I lurked on H20 last year, and I remember when Farkel made his post defending you. I didn't know what the story was, of course, only that he and a lot of other people thought you were a really great guy. I was happy to hear that you had been exonerated, and even happier when you showed up here with your ever-amusing and insightful Kult Krusade.

    And now that I've read your story of what really happened... wow. It's tough enough coming out of the organization intact, but to have survived what you did from your own family is incredible. It kinda puts my own piddly problems in the proper perspective. I am incredibly impressed with you, and though I'm not the hugging sort I think I will make an exception. (((((Tallyman))))) You've gone through way more than most of us here have, and I'm proud to know you.

    -T.

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