Welcome to the board Art.
Devon
skipping Memorial & joining forum instead
by Art In Me 27 Replies latest jw friends
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Sunspot
WELCOME!!!
It's nice to have you here! I've been around here for some time now, and I left the WTS in 1999 after 30+ years.
Looking forward to learning more about you..
hugs,
Annie
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Carmel
Welcome ART! Haven't been to a "memorial" for neigh on to forty five years and don't miss the silliness one iota! Hope you can find something more productive to do than go to the "not" ritual!
cheers,
carmel
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HadEnuf
Greetings and Salutations Art in Me!!
Enjoy this forum. It is such a wonderful support system for us X's. Most people here have "been there and done that"...so it's a comfortable place to stick around.
Wishing you well. May your posts be many and your problems be few!
Cathy L.
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Art In Me
Thanks, guys!
I can't begin to tell you how incredibly wonderful your support has been!!!!! I am so touched that so many have taken the time to welcome me and let me know I'm included! Hmmm....."belonging", what a foreign concept considering the feelings of separateness for so long as a dub.
Even though I left the Org around 10 yrs ago (then just ambling along), I only discovered the beauty of who I am (the Art In Me ) in the recent three yrs, my... what a process. Both fun and painful but neccessary. The trigger for such growth was a statement someone made to me. It was "Is it possible, that God is not "out there" but is you, around you, and of you?" Had to ponder that one for a few weeks-then hit me like a ton of bricks! Opened a whole new fantastic world with great perceptions, differneces and interpertations and the coolest thing is that it was all okay and perfect. I am a Capricorn so naturally a thinker and somewhat on the serious side and to have that thinking-on-my- own ability squashed and repressed all my life makes me bitter now. I feel robbed of just being a damn child, too. My sister and I were little adults from birth. I remember when we were like 6 and 8, we were running around our yard chasing each other and of course the exhilarating fear of having someone chasing you lends onesself to screaming bloody murder. Well, we got the lecture from the parents about how rude and inconsiderate we were to the neighbors by being loud and showing such reproach on Jah's name and setting a bad example. When my sister got to play with one of our friends and I wasn't invited I was sore and was then made to read how "jealousy is rottenous to the bones" (Pslams or Proverbs?????) in the bible until I could control myself. One more to share and (thanks for your patience) when little, I ate all of the chocolate chips from the special jar that held them and when discovered I was told how I was a THIEF and that Jehovah punishes thieves and I had disappointed, blah, blah, blah,. I remember crawling into the very back of my deep closet and sat there in the dark for forever, feeling shame as I 've never felt so intensely since. I consider the whole thing a mindf**k. These are things I'm pissed about now for the mere fact of not just being able to be a kid. I understand it's a waste of time and energy to dwell on the past, but I think I'm going to just get really pissed off once and for all and get over it. Maybe shed some tears for a childhood lost.
The whole Silentlamb thing is an interesting one, too. I'm not sure if I should post that one here or on a more Silentlamb area. Any advisement?
Love you-S
Thanks for the poem
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Valis
welcome to the forum Art in Me..
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
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cyber-sista
Even though I left the Org around 10 yrs ago (then just ambling along), I only discovered the beauty of who I am (the Art In Me )
Love this line describing your name...One thing I have noticed Art is that many who come out of the Org have a real appreciation for their freedom. Like a prisoneer that has been set free--how much sweeter and fuller is life for one who does not take their precious freedom and individuality for granted.
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Art In Me
Cyber-sista, That was the most perfect articulation of this experience I have ever heard!
I am making an honest effort to see these 32 yrs of this lifetime as knowing what my extremes are in order to find my balance. So, I have had to experience a Nazi-like existence and then experience breaking all but a couple of the Ten Commanadments (literally) and then some in order to know who and what I really am. It's been a wild ride but so worth it.
I've never been more fulfilled or happy. I was reflecting lately that out of 20 yrs as a dub I only felt true love and connectedness to Jah for a two month period around the time I was baptised. I feel the connectedness to Source/God/All-That-Is/Light (or whatever) about 75% of the time