I find this to be a place where I can let my hair down. Take my shoes off, sit back and get comfortable. Being transparent in the walls of the Hall is not recommended. I tried to be me but I found it better to be someone else. Always happy, glad to be there, always ready to prove to everyone how spiritual I was. False humility, I can't put my finger on it, put whatever I was, I was a phony. A fake. I felt like a used car salesman going out in field service. Not because I didn't believe, but because I didn't believe it was ever in me, that I'd done all the right things for the wrong reasons.
At least here I feel I can be honest about my issues. I feel it almost theraputic. I don't have to be affraid here. "I ain't skeered". The hardest part of the suffering has been done, just being able to get here.
I believe it to be in my best interest to be as honest as is possible, without trying to overwhelm anyone else with my own troubled past. I do wish to share, to the degree that some of the issues we all face in and out of the truth, can be vented here, with the hope that a releasing from some of pain of the struggles of being in the truth might leave me unshackled.
