Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

by yxl1 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • yxl1
    yxl1

    Browsing the web when I should be working, I found this at evilbible.com. Not sure if its been posted before, but it made me laugh. Enjoy.

    10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
    9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
    8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
    7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
    6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
    5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
    4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

    3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
    2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
    1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    I can happily state that I'm not a Fundamentalist then

    I take exception to just one of the above points, that being the last (1).
    None of those "knowledge items" have anything to do with being a Christian.
    Its a relationship, not a body of knowledge.

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    Don't expect a dub to understand that one, LT!

  • Abaddon
    Abaddon

    Rather predicatbly I find this v. funny.

    LT, your assertion that Christianity is a relationship seem to stand contrary to Jesus statement that everlasting life was based on 'accurate knowledge'. How come?

  • Sirona
    Sirona

    I thought the term "accurate knowledge" was a NWT construct. I remember reading somewhere that the correct translation is "knowing" - although hopefully someone else will elaborate on that

    Sirona

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    LT!!! It's mine! It's mine!

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    The Dubs rely upon their own translation of the NT (NWT) to reinforce the falsehood that people need to come to an accurate knowledge before gaining salvation, so that John 17:3 reads:

    "This means everlasting life, their taking in knowledge of you, the only true God, and of the one whom you sent forth, Jesus Christ."

    From this flows the vast program of conducting "home bible studies" with "interested persons" with the object of them getting an "accurate knowledge" of Jehovah's organisation etc etc.

    The trouble is for them that the Greek text that they translate from reads "knowing" or "know", as in "they will know you, the only true God etc"

    So LT quite correctly speaks of relationship rather than a body of knowledge.

    Ozzie

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Ozzie:LOL
    Okay, it's all yours...

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    Thanks LT. You're too kind!

    But it was an easy one, wasn't it?

    Now, how's the north today?

    Ozzie

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Easy, depending on perspective. As you rightly stated, it's not so easy from a "dub" perspective.

    The North is brightening up, with patches of blue in the sky, and the sun breaking forth
    It's been typical April weather, so far - showers and gusty breeezes.

    How about down under? It's the start of your Autumn, isn't it?

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