Check it out: http://www.witnessesonline.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/witnessesonline/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=13&t=000241
Ariel, sista, it's called cognitive dissonance. Read up on it, and you will see why nothing makes sense in your life. I can relate, because I used to find myself thinking about this same situation, although I was never in it. It is just one more area where the "truth" way of doing things just doesn't work for humans. You know, humans, those neighbors of yours walking around with real lives, real emotions, real emotional needs, real understanding. One other thing- real conciences of their own, unless they have handed that over to some group of three men with bad suits and worse attitudes.
Jesus knew who your neighbors are. Isn't it time to listen Ariel?