My Mother's Letter

by silentlambs 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • silentlambs
    silentlambs

    i recently got this letter from my mother, i thought i would share it to help see how this saga continues. my parents are both regular pioneering as we speak. have seen their grandchildren for about an hour in the last six months. what more can i say, please read.

    6-14-01

    dear son,
    while i wish you happiness, i am having health problems now from your decision to be at odds with jehovah's organization, and when you said you didn't feel it was neccessary to talk to jehovah everyday once a week would be enough. that really hurt. becaues i remember when you loved to talk to jehovah everyday. he is so kind and helps so much. i would never want to live a day without telling him how much i appreciate the things he does for us each day to just help us live and breath. i will always love you "unconditionally" but i truly feel you have been decieved by apostates and i feel when they are done using you, they will hurt you beyond description. the pain of, or fear of, that, is causing me so much stress, i am having headaches and pains in my stomach. i feel you have lost the common sense you used to have and are driven by a desire to be somebody, which will never happen in the world you have chosen to live in. when you build your life around negative stories as horrible as child abuse there's never anything to laugh about any more. there's no joy or feelings of happy times. "happy are those conscious of their spiritual need." if you don't feel a need to be with jehovah there will be no real happiness, it will only be a mirage that will fade when you reach for it and need it most. i feel someday you will wish you had never taken this course. when that day comes, me, your father, and sister will be there with open arms. i don't always listen to what people say. i just watch their eyes. it's hard for eyes to not show the truth. i didn't see peace and happiness in you, your son or daughters eyes, only in your wife, i feel she see's the mirage and someday she will find those new friends are saying things behind her back that really hurts. this is what i feel. anyway, right now, for my health's sake, i have to not hear about child abuse and your feelings about the organization. it hurts to much and i have to find a way to survive. i will always love you.
    mom

    well what can i say, it appears now i am killing my mother. as i read these words it made me feel sad. sad for my parents who in the twilight of their lives spend all their time offering literature and missing so much of life. who make themselves sick worrying about me their son. a son who has never asked them for a dime, never been in trouble, married for 18 years with two wonderful children. they have so much, yet it means nothing to them due to wt dogma. my children deserve better, are there any grandparents looking for some nice grandchildren to adopt? you know, to visit with, share your life with, and let them know they are special. my children have never known this from their jw grandparents. the wt it seems takes everything and gives little in return.

    why did i post this? to help others see what happens when you do what is morally and ethically right and how you are treated, even by your own mother. as far as how to respond to the letter i have nothing to offer, how can you answer reasoning such as this? i am certainly open to suggestons.

  • JT
    JT

    I READ YOUR moms letter-
    it is truly sad , but what is most interesting is that it IS really no more than a FORM LETTER.

    yes the standard letter that any of us would get from a "loyal" family member and that is what really hurts

    for she is merely repeating what she has been told for years.

    perhaps it would be better no to even mention anything to them again , but allow them to come to you

    why do i say this - well this past weekend was a shocker for me

    my mother in law told me about 2yrs ago NEVER TO DISCUSS wt with her and i agreeed with her that I WOULD NEVER BRING IT UP AGAIN
    well i'll be DAMN- this past weekend we were together and that was all she wanted to talk about

    she is really PISSED OFF with the WHO WILL CARE FOR THE WIDOWS AND OLD FOLKS ARTICLE

    as she put it WHEN YOU GET OLD YOU AIN'T NO MORE GOOD TO THEM

    I ALMOST FEel OUT OF my chair man- so she went on and on and on

    an i just listened - then i merely said YES MOM THEY WERE THE VERY THINGS THAT CONCERNED US AS WELL

    at that point she allowed me to go into my exp at Bethel with G-JOBBING and so many instructions that we had recieved as elders

    she sat their in disbelief

    i told her that 2yrs ago these were the things we wanted to share with you ,but we knew that you were not ready

    so we will see where we go from here and only time will tell

    she has spent over 30yrs pedddling books for them.

    she told us she doesn't even try to keep up with the mags no more - she has quit the school says no school is in the bible- so hey man you just never know what the passing of time will do to some

    JAMES

    ps

    TO MY FATHER-IN-LAW

    DAD I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS POST PLEASE DON'T TELL MOM WHAT I SAID

    SHE WILL KILL ME

    SMILE

    SEE YOU
    SON

  • AGuest
    AGuest

    Dearest Silentlambs... may you have peace!

    Please know that I offer the following as a means of encouragement... and nothing more:

    Matthew 5:10, 11
    Matthew 10:34-39
    John 16:33b

    You are TRYING to 'do the right thing,' dear one. In that light, you MUST remember that you weren't promised a 'rose garden', but invited to 'pick up [your] TORTURE stake'. And such stake is indeed 'heavy'. But all you need DO... is ask for assistance to carry it. And there IS One who has said, "Take MY yoke upon you..."

    If you remember that, and never forget it, you WILL 'conquer'... and 'fully accomplish YOUR ministry', as you are doing. But please, as I was directed to inform you before, do NOT misunderstand who... and WHAT you are dealing with. Satan has INDEED... 'blinded the minds of the unbelievers'. Unfortunately, your dear mom... is one of them, right now. Rather than feel saddened to the point of inactivity, PRAY for HER 'release' as well.

    I bid you the peace... and the strength... of my Lord... in abundance. You, too, VeniceIT. You WILL need it.

    I am...

    Your servant, as I am servant to ALL those of the Household of God, Israel... and a slave of Christ,

    SJ

  • Dino
    Dino

    Hello Silentlambs, I hope Brenda gets to feeling better. As my own mother puts it, she has too much invested in this organization to quit now. Which roughly translated, means she has lost her ability to think as the rational human being that I always thought was. So as with Brenda my mother has used the occasional guilt trip. If you are strong she will have to think, no matter if she ever admits it or not. Because you know firsthand of the org's arrogance, dont be dismayed by the seeking prominence line of reasoning as well.If you wanted that... why not stay in and continue serving as a big fish in an ever decreasing pond? Your mom's nice, just misguided. Stay the course! Dino

  • TMS
    TMS

    SL:

    Your mom is simply looking for leverage. She wants you to "do right", but she can't control you anymore. But, if you knew you were making her sick. . . . . . .

    All mothers say they can look into their children's eyes and tell if they're lieing, but wouldn't that be clairvoyance? LOL

    My initial impression was that this whole pedophilia issue was just a seized opportunity to get back at the WTBS. But, the more I think about all the situations I have been aware of in 30+ years as an elder, I now view the campaign as meritorious.

    TMS

  • jschwehm
    jschwehm

    Hi Silentlambs-

    Your mom does not know what to do with you. I am sure on one level she knows you are doing the right thing and that she has raised you right. On the other hand, she cannot believe that you are fighting against the "mother" organization.

    The guilt thing is typical. When I first left the JWs, I got that from my folks all of the time. It stops once they realize it does not work. Perhaps in time they will realize that you did the right thing and will come around or perhaps not. The important thing is that you are living by your conscience and doing the right thing in protecting these kids.

    By the way, I was on yahoo the other day and an ex-JW heard our radio show via the internet and was talking to me about it. She thought it was excellent. We are helping people and changing their lives for the better unlike the WT or hurts people.

    Jeff S.

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    Hi Bill. Mothers have a way, like no other person on earth, to make you feel guilty about their health. I know because I have a mother like that too. When she found out about our change in attitude six years ago, she went to bed, pounding on her head, begging me to change my mind. She said "all I ever wanted was to have my family with me forever." Guilt, guilt, guilt. I told her then that I would never change and that you cannot 'unring a bell'. She stayed in bed for two weeks. My fault. Of course she is 88 years old, so she can't blame me for all of her health problems, but she tries. The way I have to deal with her, is to see her very little. She only lives a mile away from me, but even at her advanced age, she never misses a beat to put me on a guilt trip for something. I know that on her death bed, she will try to make me change my mind, or promise her something. I will have to disappoint her.

    She made a great concession to me one day. She said "I know you so well, and there is no way you could have continued to do something that you didn't believe in 100%." I about fell out of my chair.

    So, I think, given time, your Mom may change her mind too. (Mom hasn't by the way) Like JT told you about his mother in law. Just wait until the Dateline show! She will see that you have gotten some national attention!! As to looking into your eyes and seeing how you really are: I look into your eyes, and see mirth, and joy and happiness, and you are so kind and caring, and really funny too. You are a real joy to be around, and exude satisfaction in what you are doing. Keep it up. Moms will be Moms will be Moms. Etc.

  • sf
    sf

    {{{{{{{{Bill}}}}}}}}

    and

    {{{{{{MOM}}}}}}}

    I just pasted this word for word on yahoo chat. The room is all a-buzz!!

    Keep on truckin' Bill, you are doing just fine.

    Love, sKally

  • VeniceIT
    VeniceIT

    Well my parents are volunteering for the 'adopt-some-gradchildren' program!!! It's really a shame, I never had normal grandparents myself and that's really something I've missed out on too.

    Ven

  • WildHorses
    WildHorses
    Just wait until the Dateline show!

    Has anyone heard just when that might be?

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