Now that I think about it, this one is handy when there's a jw on the doorstep: http://www.intriguing.com/mp/_sounds/hg/taunt.wav
Funny Monty Python Quotes / Sketches
by Sirona 24 Replies latest social humour
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Englishman
I like this one, it pays tribute to the wonderful world of Australian Philosophy.
Englishman.
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xenawarrior
YAY Scully- that's another one of my favorites !! This bird is dead !!
Here's one:
SPAM:
Man: You sit here, dear. Wife: All right. Man: Morning! Waitress: Morning! Man: Well, what've you got? Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam; Vikings: Spam spam spam spam... Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam... Vikings: Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam. Wife: Have you got anything without spam? Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it. Wife: I don't want ANY spam! Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage? Wife: THAT'S got spam in it! Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it? Vikings: Spam spam spam spam... (Crescendo through next few lines...) Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then? Waitress: Urgghh! Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam! Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Waitress: Shut up! Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam. Wife: I don't like spam! Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam! Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off. Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then? Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words) Vikings: (Singing elaborately...) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam! -
Scully
Here are some more links to audios of a few favorite Monty Python sketches.
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bebu
Thanks so much all those funny sketches... I think the Holy Grail is hysterical. My favorite part of that is when the dark knight has all limbs cut off, and challenges Arthur.
BLACK KNIGHT
Come Here.
ARTHUR
What are you going to do. bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT
I'm invincible!
ARTHUR
You're a looney.
BLACK KNIGHT
The Black Knight always triumphs. Have at you!
ARTHUR takes his last leg off. The BLACK KNIGHT's body lands upright.
BLACK KNIGHT
All right, we'll call it a draw....