Do You Realize How Much Being a Witness Has Hindered You?

by minimus 39 Replies latest jw friends

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  heyfea

  I hate the fact that I couldn't participate in after school activities.

  I hated it when kids came to school the next day and talked about all the fun they had in practice, sports, cheerleaders, theatre, dancing, where-have-you. It just pissed me off when, on top of that, my mom would get on my back telling me I should make plans to go out preaching with some nice young pioneer because they need encouragement, etc. I think I hate her more for allowing the WTS to tell her what her children could or couldn't do.
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  minimus

  Tell a "worldly" aka "normal" person everything you couldn't do as a JW and THEN you realize how much you were hindered!
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  Country Girl

  Minimus:

  Good question. Sure, I realize. I still feel regretful over those years, but nothing can be done to change them now. Like someone said, I try to focus on what being a Witness *did* for me. I can admit that being a Witness growing up stifled my social growth, but it did me some good, too. I learned how to read at the age of four; I learned public speaking skills at a very young age, which helped with my articulation and expression, and I learned morals. Not that I always followed them, but at least I learned them, which is a big plus.

  Being a Witness pretty much ruined my life, if you look at it from a wider scope, but there were things that were advantageous. The way that I like to look at is is that NOTHNG that a human ever experiences will be a TOTAL waste. People take things from each situation and learn from it. It may not be RIGHT, but we all learn lessons from whatever we are put into. I try to look at it like that. There is an old saying "If you keep doing the things that you do, then you are going to get the same things that you've always gotten." If you don't learn from something, then you keep getting thrown back into similar situations to learn the same lesson, over and over again.

  I was a very sheltered JW girl. Very innocent. When I chose to leave the religion at 20, I was thrown out into a very hostile (I thought) world with no experience, alone with the wolves. The wolves TRIED to take full advantage of me, but because of my morals I was raised up with, they couldn't. I was stubborn, also.. I forgot to add that in. So, I had a lot of trouble after that. I still believed it was the truth, until I came on the Internet, then I knew it wasn't. It shattered me. But I lived through it and am here now alive and sane most of the time.

  There are only three things I care about in this world right now: my son, silent lambs, and my family. The JW's have not hindered me in that way, they have spurred me on. My anger, as I have eluded to in many previous posts, has helped me get through some really trying times. The JW religion may have been my sustenance at one time, but now they are one of my single reasons for being: to stop the sexual abuse within the religion and to make ALL FIFTY STATES have mandatory clerical reporting laws for *all* religious walks of life.

  CG
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  desib77

  I feel that I was deprived of a normal childhood and mainly lessons that I needed to have during my teenage years (boyfriends, things at school........) that I missed out on and had to have a crash course in later in life....

  Desi
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  Room 215

  Sure most of us lament what might have been were we not seduced by the Siren's call beckoning us to the New World; but wallowing in self-pity never changes, much less improves, anything, and there are far worse situations into which one could have been born. Better to live the present to the fullest and bear the memories of our pasts with equanimity. Is there really any constructive alternative than to simply moving on?
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  La Capra

  For me the biggest hindrance was never feeling safe and secure as a young child. My first memories are of knowing I would never measure up, getting destroyed at armageddon, while my mother pranced through unscathed-almost delighting in my destruction. I never felt carefree as a youngster. I was always worried, on the defensive and ultimately insecure and depressed.

  I overcompesate for that now by trying to have everything in my life under my control. On the positive side of that control is that I got a degree and career job right away, bought my first and second houses, and started working on a second degree. However, I've discovered that the more security I get for myself, the more I have to lose, should someone tug a little on the five of spades holding up the roof on my house of cards.

  I'd give most of it up to feel normal, and TRULY, internally secure, no matter what happens outside of my control. I am starting to get a grip on this, thanks to a superb ex-witness therapist, and my own willingness to realize that the control must go, that I need to be needy, and to really rely others. It's not instant-oh how I wish it were instant. My fiance would have it a bit easier if it were instant.

  Shoshana
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  minimus

  This isn't about "self-pity". It's called a reality check.....For any lurkers out there----think about the FACT that the JWs have taken away you life---what it could've been and what it turned out to be.
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  Junction-Guy

  This is my first post here in a while as Im on a public internet terminal, I have webtv at the house however webtv isnt compatible with this board. With that said, I wont be able to post back here but every few days. In answer to this question, I think the biggest thing I lost out on was having ambition and personal goals during my teenage years. I cant go back and change things, I wish I could. I can only go forward. What bothers me the most is not having a normal father. Most fathers would be proud and look forward to their sons playing little league and other school sports, Of course he would have no part of that, therefore I didnt grow up playing in sports or school activities. It really is sad and something that will trouble me until the day I die. We definitely were robbed of Time growing up, everything seemed so rushed due to the fact that armageddon was coming. I wasted many opportunities growing up do the lack of life planning. Im 33 years old now and I wish I could have joined the military when I was younger and saw the world. Yes I do have alot of issues concerning the WT religion. I will make it my goal to expose the WT society to any and everyone I come in contact with for the remainder of my days of my life
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  minimus

  "We definitely were robbed of TIME".....so true Junction-Guy!
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  Undaunted Danny

  I squandered my youth for a cult!

  I recieved a medical exemption from school in 1973 @ age 14, I topped out at 7th grade.[ severe Ulcerative Colitis]

  Didn't need an edu., anyhow cause we were all going back to speaking Hebrew post 1975.

  Lived (until 31) with my disabled/dysfunctional JW family,who were dysfunctional BECAUSE they were JW's.

  Gave all my earnings to the WT as direct cash donations or assisting pioneers or the needy.I wasn't gonna need an 'old age' stash.

  Was a good looking boy in my prime,didn't have a girlfriend/sex until age 45.

  My entire.( 4 generations ) family wrecked by the WT$.I consider myself a survivor of WT$ genocide.

  Hey mates,"I could have had a V-8"... Hey I could have had a Frigging LIFE !