by lovinlife 26 Replies latest jw friends
Hey, I feel for you. I have spoken to my father once since I was df'd in 90. I found out in that time he almost died in the hospital. So, instead of stressing about it and trying to change him (cause I can't) I figure it's his loss not mine. No amount of bitching from me to any elder will do me any good, they would only tell me they won't get involved in family matters anyway. I have been told this before.
My advice, fulfill your life to the fullest and be happy knowing you did it on your own.
Family can be the most frustrating! Mine was much like yours. My mother was on her death bed and I accidently was in town and came to her room. All my brothers were there and were shocked to see me. They all thought one of the others had called me in Alaska to come down, when in fact no one had. It was purely by chance I was there on business. If they'd had it their way, I would still not know of her passing. funny thing, in her will all the property was equally divided except for me. I was "awarded" one dollar! So much for not showing any religious prejudice!! Still haven't collected the buck..
Hope you can get past this loss and support your brother in his time of testing.
carmel
I Don't even know what YEAR, my beloved disabled, blind from birth JW mother died!
1. Jehovah's Witnesses, make the Taliban look tame.
2. Jehovah's Witnesses, make the Nazi's look nice.
3. Jehovah's Witnesses, make Charlie Manson look like Charlie Brown. WHO? IS THIS MALICIOUS CRUEL WILLFUL AND WANTON?
Three strikes and your out! www.DannyHaszard.com
I am just so amazed at my family's inhumane behavior that I just keep staying on the verge of tears. With all this, I am reminded of how judged I am and how I am not worthy of being included in any family situation -- in their opinion!
Yep, it's pretty damn pathetic that's for sure. If/when your sister in law dies, I would write your brother a letter letting him know that you are there for him if he needs you. As for your mother and father, I think I would write them a letter telling them how appalled you are at their non-Christian/inhumane behaviour and I would use some scriptures to back it up. Jesus himself condemned the Pharisees for their practice of shunning people that they felt were "unworthy", and He went out of his way to eat with these people. Also, the illustration of the Good Samaritan is an excellent point as well. A Jew is literally ignored by his very own people, and yet helped by someone who is supposed to be his enemy. What does that say about the Witness practice of ignoring your own people? Where is this "love" that they keep claiming they have if they can't even show it towards their own flesh and blood?
I'm not sure what you got disfellowshipped for but the other scripture that comes to mind is "let he who is without sin cast the first stone." It might not change their minds, but it might make them think a bit. After all, no Witness likes being compared to the Pharisees and told that their behaviour is not Christ-like.
lovinlife,
This is exactly how my parents treated me while I was disfellowshipped. Literally as if I were dead.
It hurt so much at the time, so much so that it keeps me within the cult 'til this very day. I'm sorry this is happening to you. It's so very painful.
What really amazes me is that the Org says not to have dealings regarding spiritual topics, not that you should write your relatives off. But, like in any other place, there are those militants that will take it way beyond that point.
DY
LL: I am so sorry that your SIL has been so ill. I'm also sorry for the way you had to find out about her illness.
Right now, I am kept somewhat "in the loop" by my 'worldly' grandmother. However, once she is gone, I don't know what, if any, information I will get about my family. If someone was seriously ill or passed away, I can say almost with certainty that my father would not call me. He refuses to acknowledge my presence even when circumstances place us in the same room. I have hope that my mother would have the class to pick up the phone.
Sorry I don't have any advice; just a (((HUG))) and to let you know that I can identify, as many of us can.
i'm so sorry this is happening to you.
a few years ago when my dad was in critical condition in icu, my jw cousins walked into his room and past me as i stood at his bedside, barely even glancing in my direction. soon as i left to go to the ladiesroom, they ran up to my 'worldly' husband to introduce themselves. he was disgusted with them and if they ever had any chance of convincing him the 'truth' was loving and good, that blew it right there.
i wish i could fix it for you, all i can tell you is that you're not alone, and offer an understanding hug.
((((((hugs)))))))
fleur
