Why men are happier... (page 2)

blacksheep

Do ya really want to hear the rebuttal of "Why women are happier?"

Didn't think so.

Dan-O

Do ya really want to hear the rebuttal of "Why women are happier?"

I always figured it was 'cause even though a woman doesn't have a penis, with what she does have, she can get all of 'em that she'd ever want.

myauntfanny

Do ya really want to hear the rebuttal of "Why women are happier?"
Didn't think so.

I do. You won't convince the men though.

IT Support

Blacksheep,

> Do ya really want to hear the rebuttal of
> "Why women are happier?"

> Didn't think so.

Why wouldn't we?!!

Regards,

Ken

A lot of these things are also known as the Male Privilege

MALE PRIVILEGE by D. A. Clarke 1981

A poem for men who don't understand what we mean, when we say men have "it."

Privilege is simple.
Going for a pleasant stroll after dark.
Not checking the back of your car as you get in,
sleeping soundly,
Speaking without interruption
and not remembering dreams of rape, that follow you all day,

that woke you crying,
and Privilege is not seeing your stripped, humiliated body

plastered in celebration
across every magazine rack.

is going to the movies and not seeing yourself terrorized,
defamed,
battered, butchered
seeing something else.

Privilege is
Riding your bicycle across town without being screamed at

or run off the road,
not needing an abortion,
taking off your shirt on a hot day, in a crowd,
not wishing you could type better just in case,
not shaving your legs,
having a decent job and expecting to keep it,
not feeling the boss's hand up your crotch,
dozing off on late-night busses,

Privilege is being the hero in the TV show not the dumb broad,
living where your genitals are not denied
knowing your doctor won't rape you.

Privilege is
being smiled at all day by nice helpful women
it is the way you pass judgment on their appearance with magisterial authority,
the way you face a judge of your own sex in court

and are over-represented in Congress
and are not strip searched for a traffic ticket or used as a dart board

by your friendly mechanic,

Privilege is seeing your bearded face reflected through the history texts
not only of your high school days but all your life,
not being relegated to a paragraph every other chapter,
the way you occupy entire volumes of poetry
and more than your share of the couch unchallenged.
It is your mouthing smug, atrocious insults at women

who blink and change the subject politely

Privilege is how seldom the rapist's name appears in the papers
and the way you smirk over your PLAYBOY.

It's simple really,
Privilege means someone else's pain,
your wealth is my terror,
your uniform is a woman raped to death here, or in Cambodia or wherever
wherever your obscene Privilege writes your name in my blood,
it's that simple,
you've always had it,
that's why it doesn't seem to make you sick to your stomach,
you have it,
we pay for it,
now do you understand?

http://www.tufffemme.com/femmers/121599femmers.html

IT Support

toota:

Welcome!

>> You only have to shave your face and neck.
> True, but in a few more years (more or less) you'll
> probably want to add nose and ear hair to that list.

Touche!

Dan-O:

> I always figured it was 'cause even though a woman
> doesn't have a penis, with what she does have, she
> can get all of 'em that she'd ever want.

Too true! Ah, the inequality of the sexes...!

blacksheep:

Come on, what's keeping you. We want to hear.

santacruzchick:

While most men (I hope) would deplore the way a minority of men treat women,
I disagree with the basic premise of the poem that this is a "male privilege."

Let's not forget, guys, that this was posted on the Humour topic... :-)

Regards,

Ken

myauntfanny

IT Support

You'd BETTER duck, I have an unopened jar of depilatory leg cream here and it's flying straight at your head. Okay, this riposte is all in a friendly spirit, no hostility here.

Your last name stays put.

No longer relevant.

The garage is all yours.

Yup, that's why you're the ones who have to sleep there after a big fight.

Chocolate is just another snack.

Chocolate is a religious experience.

You can never be pregnant.

We never have to worry that ten years after a one night stand some guy is going to show up asking if we want to meet the child we never knew we had.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.

Concede

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

We know that car mechanics lie to EVERYBODY and therefore do not allow our husband to take the car out on the freeway when it?s making a funny noise, just because it had a tune-up recently.

The world is your urinal.

We never embarrass ourselves standing by the side of the freeway pissing while all the passing children point and laugh.

You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky

.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Can?t argue, that?s a big one.

Wrinkles add character.

Just wait till you have them, and you?re still staring lustfully after young woman who actually don?t really THINK so.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

Concede.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

When it?s not expected, it?s so much more effective.

New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet.

Concede, although women don?t have to do this, but you guys like it, and hey, we?re big-hearted.

One mood - all the time.

Yeah, and if it?s a bad one, that?s you for ever, too bad.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

Granted.

A three-day vacation requires only one small suitcase.

That one's silly. We don?t HAVE to pack a lot, we WANT to.

You can open all your own jars.

We can open our own jars, but you just like doing it for us so much, we don?t like to disappoint you.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

I?ll give you that one, definitely.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

We can wear skimpy little drapey things that don?t wrinkle at all.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

I don?t know what that means, actually.

The same hairstyle lasts for decades.

Only if you keep your hair, which we do and you don?t.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

We don?t have go to work with a face covered in bloody bits of toilet paper anytime we wake up too hungover to manage a razor. We can COVER our legs if there?s a massacre.

You can play with toys all your life.

We could too, but we generally get more interested in boys than toys, lucky for you.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

Seems like kind of a mixed blessing, but okay.

One wallet, one pair of shoes, one colour for all seasons.

Boring.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

Well, so can we, there?s actually no rule about this.

You can "do" your nails with a pen-knife.

So can we, who could stop us?

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

Not if your signicant other doesn?t like mustaches, you don?t.

Here?s a few to balance up the ones I had to concede.

We never have to worry about getting a woody at the swimming pool.

We can get everything we need into our shoulderbags instead of having to give it all to our girlfriend to carry.

We can stop and ask for directions when we?re lost and in a hurry.

We get to wear skirts in hot weather. I know this is a big advantage because I've seen you guys shifting around desperately trying to get all those sweaty things unstuck without touching yourselves in public.

We?re much more likely to marry up.

We have a lower mortality rate from the womb on.

myauntfanny

Godammit, why does stuff just disappear from a post sometimes? That has the potential to get really embarrassing, only not this time, thank goodness. The following responses are missing from the previous post.

You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.

We never have to piss in an icky petrol station. And we never have to worry that the guy at the next urinal is checking our our dimensions, either.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Quite right, someone else will always do it for us, it's called delegating.

FlyingHighNow

Happy, happier. Any degree of happiness is welcome. I was really pretty happy until about a month ago. Sometimes though, when you choose to help one person, another person gets mad at you. Go figure. I hope the happiness will soon return. I miss it.

Flyin'

LittleToe

MAF:

We get to wear skirts in hot weather. I know this is a big advantage because I've seen you guys shifting around desperately trying to get all those sweaty things unstuck without touching yourselves in public.

~smug grin, from the Scotsmen in the corner~

(oh, where is IT Support from? )

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