wasted life (page 2)

littlemike

thanks. ordering ray frans book was scary enough but reading them!!!. I used to hide them all the time . How sad is that

kls

just wanted to say i have the book Crisis of Conscience ,that i have read and it sits on my dresser. My jw husband refuses to even look in it's direction.

Hi Littlemike and welcome.

Why dont they ask WHY is something we have wondered too.

I understand what you mean about "friends" though. It is as though you have no past because there arent the people around to share memories with.

We bought up our children in it for nearly 20 years and left in our mid 40's about 3 years ago. Like you we are trying to rebuild our lives. The hardest thing is making new friends.

Take care and tell us how you get on with your new life outside the prison without walls.

Anglise

itsallgoodnow

Yeah, I feel that way sometimes, but coulda-shoulda-woulda thinking seems to bring me down. I figure this whole thing moved me to learn about logic and critical thinking, which is my new fixation.

I live in the now, because I am only alive... now. The past and future are tools to make now even better. I don't know what my life would have been if I had grown up in a "normal" family, but despite where I came from, I'm proud of the direction I'm going, and have started to learn what it is to not hate myself.

paulE

Welcome littlemike,

I know exactly how you feel. I had similar "priveleges" for over 20 years. Your life has not been wasted. Your life has just begun! The guys at this board have been wonderful in helping me get past my pain.

I'd think twice about writing your story. I attempted that, filling page after page with details of unloving action, hypocracy, etc.,etc.,etc. The more I wrote, the more I remembered, the angrier I got. Soon I would be right back in the same rage that filled me while I was "in". After a while, I got tired re-living the past. I'm 57 and I didn't want to spend the rest of my life still under the emotional control of JW. With one quick touch of the "delete" button, my JW life went away. Maybe the hours of writing and remembering served a purpose. Maybe the delete button became symbolic of my decision to turn around and see what life and God really had to offer.

I

HadEnuf

Welcome littlemike!

After being raised as a JW, leaving about 4 years ago and then turning the big 50 this month...I often question myself about having wasted the first (almost) 50 years of my life. Transitions take a lot of time, as has already been mentioned.

Maybe you can think of it like being in a coma for all those years and just now waking up. Look at all the wonderful things you can do that were denied you before. Simple freedoms that are not against anything that Christ would have taught. Look at the opportunities you now have to have a QUALITY life off of the Watchtower treadmill.

Cathy L.

ball.

Hi Mike,

I was D/F when I was 23, nearly 10 years ago, and still sometimes think I wasted my youth. I take strength from all the older ones who are willing to turn around in their 60's and 70's. *** see picture of guy with the map book upside down in the LiveForever book ***

Sometimes I try to make reasons why I didn't waste my life such as... if I had gone to college and got a career straight away, I may have bought property a few years earlier not knowing the housing market was about to crash through the floor. As it happens I only got a career after the crash, and scooped up a bargain which I now own outright.

But to be honest, with these kind of justifications, I am still hanging on to regrets, and that is wrong. The thing we all need to remember is there is no point to living in regret or in the past and the most important thing, even if you cannot find a "silver-lining" like I have done, is to know deep down that you are, at last, both true to yourself and free! And more... you have been through something that you could not have learnt in any other way, and sometimes I think we come here to learn something.

lovinlife

Littlemike, welcome! So glad to have you here. Yes, for a long while I did feel like I had wasted my life. I am 42 and tried to fade away 12 yrs ago. I really couldn't since parents are fanatical, got df'd a few years ago. I went through a time where I felt I had missed out on so many things. But you know what? It is never too late! I got past the hurting/regret part of my healing and went forward. I went out and did everything I had wanted to do and never could! It was amazing. Sometimes, you would think I was still a teenager, but I enjoyed every minute of it all.

Eventually, you will get past some of these feelings. And when you do, grab life and everything it has to offer and then just promise yourself that you will live in the present. Don''t look back and look at the future with all the cool things you can now do. Use your past as a springboard, not a sofa! Best wishes!

PS: You also give me hope that my father will finally wake up like you did. He is very devout w/ circuit assembly parts etc too. Maybe he will listen to his doubts (I hope he has some!). Thanks for giving me that hope!

Fleur

((((((((((Littlemike)))))))))))))

welcome!

what do i think of friends from the past?

i'd love to see them all out of the organization, free, and able to see the people they loved, whether they were jw's or not.

hope you find comfort here.

hugs,

fleur

boa

littleMike....there is so much we share in common with the discoveries and feelings of finding out you werent' in the 'one true organization' for most of your life.....

For me, I've been leaving da troof for years (although I thought I'd eventually 'figure it all out') and back active in one form or another, however, it twas not to be. Once I got over the fear of really finding out ALL about the religion of my birth, then I was able to clearly and simply accept what I'd done for all those years. All the books you mentioned and more are part of my 'therapy' as well as this forum. I try hard to accept my own responsiblity in being in that organization all those yrs regardless of the indoctrination from birth. Also, I know I cannot change the past but I CAN do something positive right now to avoid those mistakes again. For one, my children are young and they will be educated the best I can to help them avoid giving their souls over to any group of men especially they corporate brooklyn types....lol.

Welcome LM to the forum ...perhaps I'll see yah in chat....

boa....

wasted life