by ScoobySnax 41 Replies latest jw friends
Joyz:
we'll ALWAYS be xdubsI disagree. We will remain xdubs only if we want to.
That part of my history is just that, history. I don't refer to myself as an xschoolgirl, xteen, x etc. you get the picture. The definition of yourself is what you are now.
Joy of the "came here for therapy while leaving the Dubs" class.
That, my dear lady, is one of the most poignant posts I've ever read on this board. Craig
An ex-JW is a person that was a JW at one time. You might not like the label and you might not appreciate your history but if you were ever a JW and are not one now, you are an EX-JW. If you WERE married but are now divorced, you cannot think that you were never, ever married. Denial is not a good thing......I post here to help many see the truth about the "truth". I also find this place helpful in my personal recovery. Last but not least, I post here to show that Simon are I are real close buds.
I post here because I still have issues with the organization. It bodes well for me that I get to come here and read people's experiences, offer feedback, etc.. I think most of my issues will die when I am confident that my children are grown and no longer at risk to succumb to the pressure of being in or staying in the organization. Fighting for their freedom and protecting them from the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses has become my greatest purpose as of late, my mission, as it were.
Besides, we should "not forsake the gathering of ourselves together . . . "
Corvin
Minimus,
I don't believe it is denial when someone moves on from their JW past. I don't hear people who used to be catholic saying they are exCatholics. I may state that I was raised a JW, but I WILL NOT refer to myself as staying in a xjw state.
Joy
Whether they refer to themselves as EX anything is not the point. They were what they were. Period. If they were married and are now divorced, in everyone's eyes, the couple were married at one time. Now they are not. It doesn't take away what the truth was and is.......Regarding being in an "ex-JW state", i'm not sure what that means. Your present status will always be ex-jw.
Your present status will always be ex-jw.
Only in your mind, Minimus.
actually......if I can be serious for a minute.. this site has been good for me and I know I still have steps to get through or momments where something will trigger having been a JW and cause anxieties for a while yet so I appreciate being able to come here and talk about it and have people understand..
and I appreciate those who are here who have been out a long time. They may not need to be here but they are any way, giving us strength and advice.. so my plan is to stay here even after I may not need to be here so much.. just so I can pass it on and help others..
I have though thought about a life outsite of the JW anything box.. and because I do enjoy discussion boards, joined one that has absolutly nothing to do with being a JW.. or leaving being a JW>. it is totally non religious based.. just people with common interested chatting. I've been enjoying that as well..
Yup, I'M not in denial.
MINIMUS RECENTLY SEEN IN D'NILE!
As so many things "ex-JW" comes back to labelling. I'm always interested in how people define themselves (I'm Todd's Mom, Julie's Dad, Mark's wife, etc.). I think in this situation both Minimus and Joyzabel are correct, but only if you look at it from different standpoints.
From a pure semantics, Minimus is correct. Most of us were JWs or identified as JWs and now we don't, so ex-JW from that standpoint is correct.
But what does ex-JW mean? What is the connotation of the label? For some, it defines them, and could possibly limit the healing and growth necessary to truly leave the org if that's what they want. I don't think it's so much denial on Joy's part as wanting to be free of a term that limits her definition of herself (of course, I'm only going by what I'm reading and certainly am not speaking for Joy, simply trying to make a point).
Labelling by it's very nature doesn't always foster change or portray an accurate picture of the person we are. I don't call myself an ex-JW, personally, because that would denote in my mind that all I was was a JW. I am a person who is many different things, and have evolved over the years. My JW experience was part of that, as was my upbringing, my parent's divorce, my successful and failed relationships, my work and school (life?) experience, and my parents' deaths. All of these things became facets of "ME" and that is a work in progress.
So while I understand how others might define me as ex-JW and would be correct on the most basic level, it really doesn't explain who I am, or the composite that makes up me.
Just my 2 cents.
