What killed joy was the constant background of guilt and fear, even at social gatherings that should have been joyful, not to mention that when you were in recreational situations where you could be spontaneous, there were directives from the wt rag, or from the stage on how you were supposed to act at those times. I think those over arching standards stifled joy, where it could have been. You were never free of authority that was constantly watching, grading, recording.
SS