Too Posh To Push

by Englishman 52 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Princess

  I have a friend who elected to have both her girls by c-section. Then she encouraged her sister to do the same last year. I just don't get it. Why would you want surgery when it isn't necessary.

  I had two 9 pound babies naturally with no drugs and I'd do it again. I'm not sure what Flower is talking about but it's all back to normal after...and you can't see the scars when I wear my bikini, unlike the c-secion.

  First labor was 10 hours, second was 1 hour 52 minutes. No time for the epidural even if I wanted one.

  I'm with Xena, an alert baby in your arms is pretty nice.
• 

  ApagaLaLuz

  LOL.... you guys are nuts. I'm posher than all those women, I had someone else have mine for me :)
• 

  xenawarrior

  LOL @ Chevy- you got it !!!

  I'd like to add something here about having a cesarean and the terminology related to it. The whole "natural" childbirth thing. Giving birth to a baby is a natural thing whether that baby comes out vaginally or by way of c-section and the added wording of "natural" being attached to only a vaginal birth can add a bit of a sting to someone already feeling cheated out of something they waited a long time for and it can add to their feeling of disappointment and not measuring up in that whole process. It may seem silly- it's just a word - but "natural" vs. "unnatural" can mean alot.

  I know that when I had a c-section, I did feel like somehow I failed in that whole process after 24 hours of labor and that having a c-section was an "unnatural" thing. I've spoken to many women along the way who felt the same way

  And please don't get me wrong, I don't think anyone who used that term here meant anything by it in any way. I think it's just a term that is used that many folks may not realize what the impact of it may be to some.

  But- why anyone would want to volunteer for major surgery is beyond me.
• 

  Princess

  Absolutely XW, I wouldn't want to make anyone feel bad about their birth experience. Sometimes it is the only way to get that baby out. A c-section saved my brother and Mulan. Both my nephews and the one on the way were/will be saved by a c-section. Thank god they can do them so routinely these days.

  But to choose it? I just don't get it. However, to each his own!
• 

  blacksheep

  But- why anyone would want to volunteer for major surgery is beyond me.

  The whole "major surgery" thing is just a misnomer. How many "major surgeries" are you able to have with your being fulling awake?

  I told my story, above. Also, my sister had to very traumatic vaginals, and a thrid REAL emergency c-section (she was given general anethesia). As scary as that was, she told me she much preferred the c-section. With the vag's (and I was there for all three, believe me, it was tough for her), she was sore for a long time. With the c-sect, she was up and about in no time.

  Not tryng to suggest C-section is the only way to go, but I hate to see first time pregnant women think it's "major surgery" as in "major threat" with all the scare tactics that go along with it.

  If bringing a child into this world through your vagina is highly important to you fine! Bringing a healthy baby into the world with minimal risk/pain to mom and baby is the most important thing to me.
• 

  blacksheep

  I'm with Xena, an alert baby in your arms is pretty nice

  Sure, another stereotype of the c-section baby. Both mine were exrtremely alert, in fact the nurses couldn't wait to get me to them because they were screaming in hunger!

  My second was more alert than my first, had slightly better Apgars. I think that's because with the second (planned), there was no labor, minimal anesthesia, and less trauma from labor.
• 

  blacksheep

  You know, come to think of it, I resent this whole "too posh to push" thing. (Esp since it was started by a male) Back out while you can, Englishman. Don't think you REALLY want to go there....

  It implies that it's women's DUTY to endure pain, labor, and all the atrocious pushing that must occur to bring a child into the world...

  So, guess I'm Posh with a capital P. And proud of it. Don't think I need to pay my "childbirth dues," thank you very much.

  (Of course, no offense to the fine women who enjoyed the experience and wouldn't have it any other way). But this is a country of "choice" no?
• 

  blacksheep

  It may seem silly- it's just a word - but "natural" vs. "unnatural" can mean alot.

  Not silly, you're bang on. Having a baby is miraculous, no matter what the method he came out. Carrying a child, having him/her develop inside you (with you're doing NOTHING, basically) is a miracle. The last 12-36 hours of how he/she got here is miniscule compared to the 9 months of seeing life grow. (

  No offense to adoptive parents: in fact the issue is the same. So you didn't experience the first few months/years of their life. You've experienced and help mold the most important parts!-- I'm going to digress here, forgive me. I actually came to tears when I heard a man on a talk radio show, who was explaining how he and his wife adopted a baby girl from China. When they got her, she was underweight, a bit sickly, reserved. He said, with emotion, that he was amazed at what a stable, loving environment could do. He said that it was like a "switch was flipped" after a few weeks. She was the happiest, most delightful child you could imagine. Of course, he acknowedged that, this is a parent for you.)

  Okay, finished with the digression. But I hope that illustrates the priorities when you think of children...

  I know that when I had a c-section, I did feel like somehow I failed in that whole process after 24 hours of labor and that having a c-section was an "unnatural" thing. I've spoken to many women along the way who felt the same way

  God, and this is what I hate. Go back a few decades, certainly 100 years, mothers where just thankful if they could make it through childbirth alive, and their infants survived at least through year 1. Now, today, with medical advances, we so take healthy childbirth for granted that we demand no less than "perfect" experiences, "perfect outcomes"....

  If mom gets a healthy baby, and she is healthy as well, I see NO reason to suggest one birth method is more valid than another.
• 

  xenawarrior

  Thank you Princess. It may sound silly but it's a very real thing.

  Blacksheep:

  The whole "major surgery" thing is just a misnomer. How many "major surgeries" are you able to have with your being fulling awake?

  ?????? A cesarean section is major abdominal surgery and carries many risks. Statiscally, many more women die during a c-section than they do during a vaginal birth. The recovery time for most women is longer with a c-section also.

  With mine- the bonding long term wasn't affected but it certainly was immediately. I had been on pitocin for so many hours trying to cause productive contractions during labor. It amazed me that the machine that was hooked up to had something akin to a "volume" control on it! After the surgery, they left the IV of it on causing excruicating pain. I had to be medicated for the pain, meaning that I was unable to even hold my baby for any length of time. They told me at the time that they had to leave the pitocin on so that my uterus would contract and the bleeding would stop. No matter how many times I tried to tell them that I wanted to breast-feed and that would naturally cause the contractions they were looking for; they would not stop it. And they wouldn't call MY doctor either. Well, when my doctor arrived and figured out what had been going on, he hit the roof and it was immediately removed and I was fine within a couple of hours. Not a good experience at all and I recall watching my husband holding her and wanting to so badly but I couldn't because of the pain medication.
• 

  Princess

  You know, come to think of it, I resent this whole "too posh to push" thing

  No kidding. I couldn't tell.