Dealing with a work-place bully...WARNING...RAMBLE!

by ScoobySnax 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • ScoobySnax
    ScoobySnax

    Need to get this off my chest.

    I've been doing this job for 10 years now since I qualified as a Staff Nurse in 1994, I think I've worked hard to get to the position I am now in which is Acting Ward manager of a busy Surgical ward. Since my student nurse training days a certain staff nurse has been working on the same ward as me for most of that time, someone who qualified way before I did. This girl has constantly had problems in her attitude and treatment of others. I've watched her belittle students, her colleagues and manipulate her managers over the course of the last 13 years in total. In 1999 our ward split and I ended up on an adjacent ward to her, still I'd hear of others complaints, friends and colleagues of mine of her treatment of them. She seemed to have a way about her that manipulated those who were managing her to the point that they let her get away with this behaviour. They were my managers still, but I warned them that she was destroying the morale of the staff on my old ward. Despite this last year they made her up to Ward Sister, and told me that it might be the "making of her" and she might change.

    In the meantime I was made up to Charge Nurse (equivalent of Ward Sister) on the adjacent ward. Of course I heard the same old complaints but had my own staff to manage. This all changed in March when 2 of the old managers left that ward and the lead nurse asked me to take over the position of Acting ward Manager for the ward that she was on. I thought it best to get this woman in the office, lay my cards on the table and wipe the slate clean, sort of make a fresh start, as I imagined it might be a bit difficult for her to adjust to me managing her, when after all originally I had been the student and she had qualified years before me. She seemed to take all this on board, and agreed that she's support me in changes I felt needed made, I made every effort to include her with descisions I made so she didn't feel left out.

    It hasn't worked, slowly but surely she has tried to erode my authority in a subtle but progressive way, whilst all the time continuing to be-little her peers and juniors, despite me calling her in the office on 2 occasions in the last 2 months to try to reason with her.

    Today I walked in, to find one girl, a very competent staff nurse in floods of tears, as yet again she had been shown up and humiliated in front of the other nurses who were afraid to say anything.

    Whether it was right or wrong I saw absolute red. After calming her down and placing the said nurse on another ward (as she was all for going home never to come back) I called this bully of a bitch into my office, and laid it out to her. I told her that her attitude stunk, that nurses had been coming into me for the last 2 months complaining of feeling scared of her (that amounts to bullying), and that for the last 10 years I'd been watching her attitude becoming more foul as time had gone on. I told her that for way too long her behaviour had been overlooked by management and she'd been allowed to get away with it. Intially she started to argue with me, blaming everyone else......then she turned it upside down by telling me that I was giving her "mixed messages" by telling her a month ago that we needed to improve care standards on the ward, and she was just trying to implement what I'd told her, everything anything she could think of to wriggle out of her behaviour.

    But I'd had just about enough. I reminded her of the nurses over the years that had either left, or patients that had complained about her attitude. I then told her that from now on I will be shadowing all of her shifts, and that if I find one more complaint from anyone, I will be formally putting her on the hospital Trusts "Harrasment and Bullying" charge with likely disciplinary action. With this she burst into tears, buried her head in her hands and said that she would quit the job then, if thats how everyone felt.(she's pulled this one before) I then said thats EXACTLY how everyone feels, and if you don't think you can change then clearly this would be the best option. After a long long 5 minutes silence, she back-tracked and said she would try to co-operate. I've warned her that that was the final straw today, no more excuses, no more getting out of it, no more manipulating, bullying and foul treatment.

    Of course she was very quiet for the rest of the shift, didn't hardly look at me let alone speak to me. I left 3 hours before her tonight when my shift ended. The minute I was out the door she apparently started canvassing the other nurses opinion as to whether all the above was true (of course they are scared to tell her) as a nurse called me at home tonight to tell me.

    I'm off tommorow, but back in Thursday when she is on. So back in the office I'll be with her. I feel I've warned her and she has already breached the agreement already. I will deal with this.

    I'll shut-up now.

    Just how do you deal with someone this obstinate, un-professional, and bullying? She will not get away with this anymore. I'm on a mission now.

    I feel better.

    Scoob

  • kls
    kls

    You did the only thing possible, If she can't get along with other's then she should leave. How can anyone do their job and do it right if you have this nasty wench around. Let us know what happen's on thursday.

  • Mary
    Mary

    Way to go Scoob!!!

    You're someone after my own heart!! Yep, you dealt with this in the best way possible. This witch needed telling off and I'm glad you did it. There's too many people like her out there that terrorize everyone else and then start boo-hoo-hooing the second someone finally calls her on it.

    If I were you though, I would tell your supervisor about the exchange you had with her. She could be plotting her revenge on you so you need to cover your butt just in case. I would also start logging all the complaints that people have made about it right down to the date, time and exactly what took place.

    You go girl!!

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Scooby:
    I work in the NHS, too.
    A word to the wise - document everything!!!

    Get the complaints in writing, and formally record the interviews you've had with her.
    It may pay dividends, if she's as manipulative as you say.
    You know what the public sector is like for dotting the "i"'s. It's hard to sack anyone, at the best of times, even if they are incompetent.

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    Scooby,

    I work with (and have worked with at other jobs) people like this. I second LT's comments. DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT. Every detail you can remember. And while it's still fresh! Also, a trip to your superior's office won't hurt. Letting them know how you dealt with a displinary issue and why you did it, will only help build your case.

    Right now there is an official investigation on one of my bosses. He's a total jerk. (I've talked about him here before.) I've been told by our HR department to document everything. What he requests from the team, what information he's piping up to HQ, his attitude, his comments, everything. It's exhausting, but I have faith at some point my documentation will help them make the right decision - letting him go!

    I wish you luck!

    Andi

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    yes, LT is right, documenting everything is very important..

    I sure hope this works out ... sounds like a few bumps to get through before it gets better.. Sorry Scoob

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    Also...

    I left 3 hours before her tonight when my shift ended. The minute I was out the door she apparently started canvassing the other nurses opinion as to whether all the above was true (of course they are scared to tell her) as a nurse called me at home tonight to tell me.

    I would even confront her with that. At least at that point she would KNOW that she doesn't have many allies in the group. Maybe then she'll really clean up her act or leave. Either way, you get what you want - her bad attitude is GONE.

    Andi

  • ScoobySnax
    ScoobySnax

    Thanks for all your comments so far...... I feel better, rather than bitter how I did feel earlier.

    You know the sad thing though, and what really cuts me up bad, and thats that on bothe wards I have managed all, and I mean ALL the nurses there are so fantastic. I would be more than happy to have any one of them look after someone I loved, and would be able to go home confident that they were in the best hands.

    On my ward that I left to temporarily to manage this one (where she is) they are all looking forward to me coming back, yet on this ward I'm on now, they don't want me to leave. This sounds really big-headed like I'm bragging about how "wonderful" I am. I'm not, far from it. We all have bad or off days. I think they want the problem resolved and see for once something is being done. Maybe you are right I should document everything (even though I have mentioned this several times at managers meetings with my superiors) Their answer is that is reason they put me there in the first place.... to sort this woman out like they don't or can't deal with the problem. I want to go back to my own ward, my job that I was acting up in has just been advertised, so I must apply for it, but I'd like to get this "problem" sorted first. I do feel alot for the good nurses there. How sad to get text messages on my phone to say "thanks" tonight from people too frightened to say anything. All because of one persons attitude. I could never operate in that way. She truly is a bitch.

    But Thursday will soon come round. I usually hate confrontation, but like I said, this needs sorting.

    Thanks for the replies.

    Scoob

  • crinklestein
    crinklestein

    I have had to deal with this kind of situation myself and being that stand-up kinda guy I am I dont put up with it. You did the right thing! Here are some links to my Livejournal so you can read what I have had to deal with at my job and how I dealt with it.

    http://www.livejournal.com/users/crinklestein/77837.html
    http://www.livejournal.com/users/crinklestein/78826.html
    http://www.livejournal.com/users/crinklestein/79119.html
    http://www.livejournal.com/users/crinklestein/80930.html

  • ScoobySnax
    ScoobySnax

    crinkle.......amazing!

    Its not exclusive to where I live then! Thanks for sharing.

    Its difficult being a man and having to deal with a woman on a professional basis when this happens, rather than the other way round don't you think? Its almost like you have to be extra cautious. And thats all wrong.

    Scoob

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