Sometimes people only listen when it effects their pocket book. Put this person on leave for two or three days without pay, then let's see how much trouble she wants to cause!
Dealing with a work-place bully...WARNING...RAMBLE!
by ScoobySnax 27 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
ScoobySnax
Thanks KLS and Talesin
You know, I don't wanna keep on coz this little drama of mine must sound a bit boring. But....
I was so disappointed that my old boss said this today, and told me that I should be gentle with her because of all the excuses that she'd come up with, I'd always respected this ex boss of mine, she was my mentor for gods sake. A good person who I thought I was totally in tune with. I said to her ok, you sit here in this chair, and have different nurses coming in telling me that they are dreading coming to work because they know this nurse is on shift that day, I'm sorry that her mum died, I'm sorry that she feels bad that I got promoted above her, and I'm sorry that I wasn't at the sodding meal in the restaurant on Sunday.
Its just not right. I said the only reason that you never felt intimidated or worried about coming into work was because you were her boss and she didn't have that hold over you, but it isn't the same for the Staff nurses and other workers that are below her, that isn't right that they feel worried and dread coming in when she is on shift too. I don't either because I can handle her, but others junior to her don't have that luxury.
I'm due to move to apply for the permanent ward managers job on my original adjacent ward by the end of this week away from this ward, but I'd hate to leave the ward whilst its in this state. I don't want her to get away with it again...13 years is a long time. Its not that I'm on a mission to destroy her or anything, its just that no-one should feel frightened about having to come to work because of one bullying individual.
I will speak to my superiors and re-iterate this again.
How sad that good people have to suffer, whilst the problem is just at the worst accepted and the best swept under the carpet.
Scoob
-
SheilaM
Scooby: I have had a few managers and peers like that. I do agree, document everything, if she is manipulative as I think she may pull a sexual harrassment card or worse. You want to have everything to back you up.
I do hate that her peers have no backbone to stand-up to her. They allow her behavior by their fear, she knows she has absolute control. She also probably senses that you may not stay in your position, she will ride it out and go back to her old ways.
Best of luck ......
-
ScoobySnax
SheilaM you never spoke a truer word!! She said to them at the meal that at least "he" will be leaving soon and she could get back to "managing it her way" .......God I really want to stay another 6 months there now to see it out. Its funny of all people I spoke to my mum tonight about it (who else) and she said, Scott, you're right, but be careful, this girl could pull any stunt if you are about to expose her, watch your back. Just as you said.
I had to laugh though, being a poof, she'd have difficulty getting me on the "Sexual harrassment" charge...lol who#s da bitch!
Seriously, thanks though. It pays to watch your back. I have started to document everything this week. and I contacted the director of nursing for a meeting, and she is now aware of the situation and was very supportive.
I guess I felt more hurt at the image of 3 other what I considered good friends and colleagues, sitting in a restaurant discussing all this and feeling sorry for her when they themselves have let this situation develop. That was my remit when they left, to go over to that ward and sort out the mess. etc etc
I can draw comfort that they are a good team of nurses on this ward, that have told me that for once they feel listened too and taken seriously, I just hope they do have the backbone to support there convictions. I've told them as a group that I'll go out on a limb to support them.
We'll see.
Scoob
-
ScoobySnax
and ok I'll shutup about it now!
<<<off to listen to ma music and chill with a beer<<< Thanks for letting me rant.
Scott
-
GentlyFeral
Scoob, valiant work! Applause!!!
But, in addition to documenting everything yourself, teach the people under her to do the same. Lead them through the process step by step. This will not only teach them to speak up but to recognize when power is being abused and where they can legitimately draw boundaries -- and these are the first things that people unlearn when they are being abused. The nurses not only need to know how to fight back but what their rights are and what the manager can and cannot legally do.
To my dying day, I will bless the doctor who taught me to fight back in this way. We had an abusive supervisor in our department who had been jerking us around for THIRTY YEARS. It took a year and a half, but she was finally placed on "medical leave" and then persuaded to "retire."
Keep on fighting the good fight, Scooby - you da man.
GentlyFeral
-
Billygoat
Scoob,
Don't give up quite yet. Just keep documenting - give her enough rope and she'll hang herself. Trust me. Characters like this can fool for a short period of time, but not long periods of time.
I've had a boss since July that is the epitome of an HR Nightmare. He makes sexist and racist comments, he calls his employees names, he lies verbally and even on paper. For the third time I approached HR several weeks ago. They had already had two "talks" with him, to no avail. So they asked me to put all of my documentation into ONE document and submit it with a formal written complaint. (I've discovered just TALKING to HR wasn't "official" or "formal". ) So I did what I was told and put together my documentation. All 15 pages of it!!! I had compiled them from my calendar, notes, posties, his emails to me, etc. When I submitted it to the HR Manager as well as the proof that showed he was falsifying company documents, they were shocked. Now they're taking things a step further - HR is visiting him this week. Flying all the way from NY to Dallas to do it. I have a feeling that if he isn't disciplined now, later this year when we merge with a competitor, he'll be quietly let go as a "loss".
Document honey. Every word or action that is inappropriate. Yes, it's exhausting, but in order to make your case fly, you need evidence of having documented over a long period of time.
Chin up. It'll get better!
Andi
-
SheilaM
Andi:
You go girl
Scott: LOL Poof or no poof allegations can be made ....Oh hell that was so funny I can't think