Going to the hospital alone...right or wrong?

by Maverick 32 Replies latest social relationships

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  Maverick

  I am having a hard time figuring out the best policy on this. So I need some input from y-all.

  Monday night after retiring for the evening I got very sick very fast. Great pain in my lower back that felt like my left kidney was going to explode. After about a half hour of this horrid pain I got dress and drove myself to the Emergency Room at my local hospital two miles away. Turns out it was kindey stones and boy do they hurt like sin! I was there about four hours and they told me to call someone to take me home. I checked out and drove myself home and went to bed. I went to work the next day, sore as hell, and then crashed last night about seven PM and got a good night sleep.

  Now my question. My daughter was in her room with some friends when I got sick and I didn't want to ruin her evening so I did not tell her anything until Tuesday. She got mad. A lady friend had just left my house about fifteen minutes before the kidney stone attack and I didn't tell her anything until the next day either. She got mad too!

  My reasoning was; how could they have helped me? I was in the worst pain I could even imagine and feeling like a real whimp sobbing and moaning until the heavy drugs the nurse gave me slowed down the misery. Why put these ladies through all of that? I didn't even know what was wrong at first. Once I knew I wasn't going to die, though at times that would have been preferred, it was not so bad. And why would I want to call these women at three in the morning?

  I will admit I would want them to call me and I would jump up and be there in a heart beat. But I just couldn't put them through that. Help me out with this. Maverick
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  blondie

  Maverick, take someone with you that can speak for you if you become unconscious, Medical Treatment 101. Who is designated for healthcare power of attorney? (PS I would have been mad too!) I've had kidney stones, what were you thinking, man?

  Blondie
• 

  talesin

  Maverick

  Here's what folks tell me,,,

  If you don't call us when you are sick and down, then you are keeping a huge part of yourself from us. It says that you don't trust us to love you NO MATTER WHAT.

  then they say,,,

  How would you feel if I was sick and didn't call you? You don't always have to be 'the Strong One'.

  Yeah, you're not the only one who is too independent. Sometimes it's hard to relax and just let folks BE THERE for us. It doesn't have to make sense, just DO IT (it feels good, although strange at first).

  talesin
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  calamityjane

  Yes I would have been mad too. You say they could not have helped you, but they could have been there for moral support and comfort. Woman have the need to comfort and to take care of the ones they love. You denied them this.

  When your in that much pain, how the hell do you drive.

  Glad your feeling better.

  Take care

  cj
• 

  Elsewhere

  Macveric gets the Manly Man award!!!!

  Reminds me of the time a man lopped off his leg in a farming accident and drove himself to the hospital.
• 

  arrowstar

  I will admit I would want them to call me and I would jump up and be there in a heart beat.

  Maverick -

  These women care about you and you essentially denied them an opportunity to care for you. Some might perceive your actions as not caring enough about them to let them assist you in your time of need.

  I'd be mad too.

  Lisa
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  Special K

  Hi Maverick,

  You Said,

  "I will admit I would want them to call me and I would jump up and be there in a heart beat."

  That says it all.

  If it was me,..... I would have been mad at you too.

  My husband did this to me once, wouldn't tell me what was the matter and went off to the hospital thinking he was having a heart attack.. and didn't tell me until he came home. Just said he was going to the store.

  He thought he was protecting me in his own way.

  But after a long discussion, it became apparent to him that instead of protecting me it was more like cutting me out and not sharing with me when I love him so deeply that I would want to care and support him the way that he would care and support me.

  I can understand that maybe you would not have wanted to keep your daughter (if young) in the room constantly with you if you were in such tremendous pain. She could have maybe came in intermittently.

  You know it is alright to need someones help and comfort at times.

  I know you did handle this all by yourself and that is great but really,, when you think deep inside wouldn't it have been nice to have the ones you love.. at least inquiring and being available to you if need be.

  (Remember Maverick.. THis is not a critcizing of the way you handled all this.. but just my perspective from a wife, mother, ..and female point of view)

  sincerely

  special k
• 

  LittleToe

  Mav:It's probably a guy thing.

  I don't get ill very often, but when I do I just curl up into a ball and let the world go by.
  If I have to hurl then I quietly go off and briskly do the business, brush my teeth, and go back to bed, causing the least fuss and disturbance possible.

  There's nothing more irritating than clucking hens, when you aren't feeling your best.

  The image of having someone pat your fevered brow sounds lovely but, unless you're borderline unconscious, it can feel a bit of a nuisance.

  LT "hates being ill" class
• 

  myauntfanny

  Well, I wouldn't have been mad you because I'm similar, even though I am a woman. I don't want to impose, I don't want to be a whiner, and I don't want anyone to see me in pain. Also, what if it turns out to be no big deal? What if you called someone at 3 in the morning to drive you to the hospital with intense pain, and half way there you passed gas and then suddenly felt fine? (Yes, I do have a vivid imagination about these things - it's a curse). And I think it's harder for men, because say what you like, they often have to be the strong ones, and so they can feel that it will let everyone down if they show weakness. But I do really think the other folks on here are right, it's probably better to be a little less stoic and reach out a bit more. What if you'd passed out from the pain and crashed the car?
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  calamityjane

  nothing more irritating than clucking hens,

  That's not what we intend to do. We can sit there quietly and still give support.

  Poor choice of words, Little Toe.