by Lady Lee 21 Replies latest jw friends
I am a child who lost his mother to the WT$ cult.I literally don't know what YEAR my beloved blind from birth mother died.I lived with my disabled mom until age 30 ca.1989.She up and moved to Florida and we were cut off by the Borg.
Who?Is this malicious,but Jehovah's Witnesses? 
sunnygal, i am so sorry for your loss. i lost two babies to miscarriage, and even now, after almost twelve years (can it be that long?) since the first and 9 since the second, i still miss my babies. i look at the child i was blessed with afterward (no small miracle is she) and wonder what they would have been like. i know how lucky i am that i was able to ever have one, i am so sorry that you have not been able to...you can't ever replace one child with another even so..i'm rambling and making no sense because this subject is still so raw for me even after all this time that it's like channeling pure emotion through me. the physical losses themselves were so violent and devestating emotionally, you get so attached to them so quickly.
there is a really good book called "miscarriage; women sharing from the heart" that really helped me a lot. it's the only one i ever read that wasn't insulting on the subject. it had two authors and i think one of them is named shelly marks...it really helps.
i still grieve for the ones i've lost, you can't ever really 'get over' something like this. it changes you, forever. i had friendships that didn't survive, i remember one friend was so upset because i couldn't bring myself to attend her baby shower within weeks of my second miscarriage. i had lost two babies in two years and just couldn't do it. she never really forgave me. it wasn't that i wasn't happy for her (even though she hadn't planned it and complained the whole time!) i just couldn't face all those little clothes and shoes and reminders of what i had so recently lost. and she couldn't understand that.
i'm sad too about the children i won't ever have, because i've been told in no uncertain terms by my doctors not to attempt it with my bad health. so sad, because my second marriage is so happy...
(((((((((((((((((((Sunnygal))))))))))))))))) understanding hugs...
fleur
thanks lee for the very sensitive, kind post.
I lost my grandson 4 yrs ago.
My daughter then 21 Got pregnant and at her first ultrasound they found a problem with the babies heart.
She didnt want to abort him though the babies faterh and his family tried to pressure her into doing it.
Tyler was diagnosed with HPLHS.Essentially half his heart was malformed,But upon researching his condition we found that these children have a 80% chance of being viable with the right help.
So he was born at 8 lbs and cried lustily, the drs. were lined up for the nessary surgery.Three days after his birth he was taken in for surgery but the bipass machine malfunctioned killing him on the table.
He was a beautiful baby and We think he would have done well.I still think about him often.especially since he now has a new baby sister.( whom im not allowed to see)
There is a JW mother here in Columbus who lost two of her four children in an automobile accident this past January.
I wrote her a letter soon after. She askled my daughters to have me call her. But......After much thought and prayer,I decided not to because I didn't want her to get disfellowshipped for associating with me. The loss of Joel and Alicia is already almost too much to bear.
I do wish I were able to comfort her somehow.
I have lost my oldest child Thomas to the WTBS. I'm scared because I sometimes forget he even exists.
That's just about the kindest thing anyone has said about losing one's babies. It's been just over 3 years since my last miscarriage (4 in 2 years). You know, sometimes I picture their little faces, in my mind's eye. This week, I have been thinking about them, what they might have looked like, how old they would be now, who they would be 'like' ,,, how I can never 'be' a Mom.
It seems as if most people don't realize how deep these feelings of loss are, they just say "oh, well, at least you survived, it was touch and go, you are lucky". Well meaning, but oh so hurtful! It is one of those things that most people don't want to talk about, they do not wish to know of one's sorrow.
Thanks, Lee, for understanding and acknowledging our pain. For giving me a means to express it and truly be heard. It means a lot to me.
{{{{{{{ to all who are grieving the loss of their child }}}}}}}
tal
thanks lady lee
what wonderful thoughts.
and yes, it is time to take my family down to the cemetery again this Sunday (Mothers Day) just so thoughts can be shared with dear son, Mathew David
always there and ever present is my love for him
sincerely remembering
Special K
My heart and thoughts go out to every one of you especially at this time of year
Thank you, Fleur........the Dr. was soooo wonderful, especially for a man........I had questions, even tho I was numb, and couldn't ask them, he told me that it wasn't anything i had done or not done, it was most likely related to my age, I was 42 at the time, and even tho I hadn't been looking to get pregnant, and the "sperm donor" was furious that I had, I had cherished that little life! {{{{Lover of Truth}}}} and {{{{Talesin}}}}}..........in fact, everyone, and once again, Lady Lee, thank you so much for being here and being the extraordinary person you are!
Terri
Hoping all of you find a way to celebrate motherhood this coming Mother's Day.
Light a candle, say a prayer, read a poem or write one. It doesn't have to be big. But please don't allow the attitudes or feelings of others force you to deny that you too are mothers
