Yesterday was the wedding. All five of my siblings and their spouses and children, my mom and dad and their spouses, even my three daughters were invited. But not I. she is the only one who is JW.
They sent the invitation to the girls in their name only to my address. I thought this was done in order to send me the clear message not to come.
Well, I called her up a few weeks ago and left the message saying, "I'm sorry but we cannot make it to your wedding because we're going to Disneyland."
At the time I thought I didn't want to acknowledge the stab she delivered into my heart with that invitation.
But when I woke up yesterday morning I had this horrible pain in my heart. My baby sister. The one I ran home from school every day to hold and feed and play with. The one I brought into Watchtowerland. She's getting married and she didn't invite me!!!
I cried all morning. I stayed in bed until 1:00 PM. Then finally I called my dad and cried to him. I knew she was there in his home having her hair done, having her maids all around her (none of which were my family btw). I said, "Dad, can you ask Ericka if I could please go just to see her get married. I will sit in the back."
And she graciously did me the favor of allowing me to go.
So I begged one of my daughters to accompany me since none of them wanted to go due to what she did to me. One of my twins went with me and we sat in the back, where my sister in law came back to sit with me while the rest of the family was in the front row!
There I was, banished, the punished child! But she looked beautiful. And I thought, this is a gift I am giving her. Because if she ever leaves this religion, she will not have to live with the fact that I wasn't at her wedding!
But when she walked out, she gave me the look like, "You can go now!" I thought, "No, she didn't do that!" But then my little girl said, "Mom, let's get out of here. She gave me a hard look. I don't want to be here."
So we were walking outside where we were caught up with all the family and hugs and kisses and everyone telling us just to go to the reception and come inside and take pictures and the groom's mom (a stout elderette) comes up to my mom and orders her inside the hall for the pictures and gives me the evil eye. This woman whom I have never met but who obviously has heard about the evil apostate. She really did order my mom like she had authority.
Anyway, other JWs came up and hugged me and even a friend I dearly loved and miss gave me her card and told me to call her so we can "catch up." I was shunned by one person! She looked at me funny and smiled but kept going when I said hi. Funny thing is I don't know who this person was. I have no clue. Everyone who didn't want to talk to me didn't shun me they just stayed in their own area. But this person walked right by me on purpose.
It was weird for my family to see this. But it was even wierder for them to see the ones who actually did come up to me and give me a hug. A couple of them mentioned, "Why do these other people talk to you and hug you but your own sister doesn't?"
So now today I have mixed feelings. In a way I wish I didn't go because of her look she gave me. But then I am glad I went because I love her and miss her and would not have wanted to have missed it. Someday she could leave, and she will see that I am in no pictures. That there were six people from her family who were missing. My husbnd, my self, our son and our three daughters.
I want to cry but at the same time I am angry. I want to grab her and pull her by the hair.