My Sister got married and I wasn't invited

by bluesapphire 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • bluesapphire
    bluesapphire

    Yesterday was the wedding. All five of my siblings and their spouses and children, my mom and dad and their spouses, even my three daughters were invited. But not I. she is the only one who is JW.

    They sent the invitation to the girls in their name only to my address. I thought this was done in order to send me the clear message not to come.

    Well, I called her up a few weeks ago and left the message saying, "I'm sorry but we cannot make it to your wedding because we're going to Disneyland."

    At the time I thought I didn't want to acknowledge the stab she delivered into my heart with that invitation.

    But when I woke up yesterday morning I had this horrible pain in my heart. My baby sister. The one I ran home from school every day to hold and feed and play with. The one I brought into Watchtowerland. She's getting married and she didn't invite me!!!

    I cried all morning. I stayed in bed until 1:00 PM. Then finally I called my dad and cried to him. I knew she was there in his home having her hair done, having her maids all around her (none of which were my family btw). I said, "Dad, can you ask Ericka if I could please go just to see her get married. I will sit in the back."

    And she graciously did me the favor of allowing me to go.

    So I begged one of my daughters to accompany me since none of them wanted to go due to what she did to me. One of my twins went with me and we sat in the back, where my sister in law came back to sit with me while the rest of the family was in the front row!

    There I was, banished, the punished child! But she looked beautiful. And I thought, this is a gift I am giving her. Because if she ever leaves this religion, she will not have to live with the fact that I wasn't at her wedding!

    But when she walked out, she gave me the look like, "You can go now!" I thought, "No, she didn't do that!" But then my little girl said, "Mom, let's get out of here. She gave me a hard look. I don't want to be here."

    So we were walking outside where we were caught up with all the family and hugs and kisses and everyone telling us just to go to the reception and come inside and take pictures and the groom's mom (a stout elderette) comes up to my mom and orders her inside the hall for the pictures and gives me the evil eye. This woman whom I have never met but who obviously has heard about the evil apostate. She really did order my mom like she had authority.

    Anyway, other JWs came up and hugged me and even a friend I dearly loved and miss gave me her card and told me to call her so we can "catch up." I was shunned by one person! She looked at me funny and smiled but kept going when I said hi. Funny thing is I don't know who this person was. I have no clue. Everyone who didn't want to talk to me didn't shun me they just stayed in their own area. But this person walked right by me on purpose.

    It was weird for my family to see this. But it was even wierder for them to see the ones who actually did come up to me and give me a hug. A couple of them mentioned, "Why do these other people talk to you and hug you but your own sister doesn't?"

    So now today I have mixed feelings. In a way I wish I didn't go because of her look she gave me. But then I am glad I went because I love her and miss her and would not have wanted to have missed it. Someday she could leave, and she will see that I am in no pictures. That there were six people from her family who were missing. My husbnd, my self, our son and our three daughters.

    I want to cry but at the same time I am angry. I want to grab her and pull her by the hair.

  • truthseeker1
    truthseeker1

    well im very proud of you for being there. you clearly showed who the bigger person was. perhaps in the years to come when armageddon doesnt arrive and she looks back at her life, shewill realize that you are a true friend and family and apologize.

    till then, just be happy that you did the right thing!

  • blacksheep
    blacksheep

    I'm so sorry for your experience. And yes, you were the bigger person. I've had similar experiences in which I have not been invited to my neices/nephews' graudations, which hurt me immensely, but the wedding of your sister is so important. Hold your head up high. I'm glad you were treated well by most who were there. IMO, your sister's actions were inexcusable, but then she's still brainwashed.

  • xLaurax
    xLaurax

    Aww...that almost brought a tear to my eye I guess i just can't imagine not being part of either of my brothers weddings.I think that you did the right thing by going and i'm proud of you even if she isn't. You showed that you were the better person turning up there and one day she is gonna realise what a big, BIG mistake she made.

    Cheer up sweetie

    Kisses, xLaurax

  • Hapgood
    Hapgood

    I'm a so sorry, my heart goes out to you. Your story did have me in tears. The pain, I can't even imagine. She is so lucky to have a sister that loves her so, hopefully one day she will come to her senses. At least by the "fine example" that she is giving, the rest of your family are all protected from ever joining that cult that masquerades as a religion.

    ((((Hugs))))

    Hapgood

  • bebu
    bebu

    (((((blue)))))

    That was a wonderful investment in your relationship... and one day, I hope that it pays you all the dividends you hoped for, and more. She is like a sick person, eating all this poison, not to recognize your great love for her.

    I hope all your friends and family are successfully innoculated to the WT because of the heartlessness they preach.

    bebu

  • kat2u
    kat2u

    I am so sorry to hear about the way your sister and others treated you.

    I know how you feel, I was the banished mother of the bride 2 yrs ago at my oldest daughters wedding.

    The pain and anger cannot be easily expressed but by attending you have shown your love and support, someday she will look back and appreciate it.

  • little witch
    little witch

    (((Blue and Kat)))

    How tragic to be treated with such stern disregard! Some "loving orginization" that seperates families and decides who is worthy to attend a family ceremony....It just makes my blood boil!

    All the while thinking they somehow "shine as an example"...The dolts are to consumed with their own pride to understand how outsiders really view them.

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    OUCH, I hate this religion.

  • Stefanie
    Stefanie

    So sorry for your experience

    "Why do these other people talk to you and hug you but your own sister doesn't?"
    This part hurts.

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