My Sister got married and I wasn't invited

by bluesapphire 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • shamus
    shamus

    To those who think Witnesses can't turn the love on and off like a fawcett.... I rest my case.

  • Navigator
    Navigator

    Your actions remind me of some advice I was given by a Disciple of Christ Minister who had been raised by a JW aunt when I was trying to deal with my personal situation which occured my wife became a JW..

    "there is only one way to deal with JWs. You have to outlove them"

    You certainly demonstrated that advice.

  • exjdub
    exjdub
    Because if she ever leaves this religion, she will not have to live with the fact that I wasn't at her wedding!

    bluesapphire,

    That is one of the kindest and most beautiful sentiments that I have ever heard. That is indeed a gift of high value and you are a reminder of what true loving heart condition is. I don't know if I could do what you did, given the opportunity, but I sure do admire it. Also, hearing of your daughter's protective stance for you warms my heart...she is a priceless gift...as you are already aware.

    exjdub

  • itsallgoodnow
    itsallgoodnow

    Wow, what a great story. Hopefully, your indifference (at least as far as she knows) to her efforts will break her will to keep punishing you.

    Sounds like in general, you have a really great family!

  • franklin J
    franklin J

    BLUESAPHIRE

    I am sorry to hear of your experience. This religion does terrible things to families. And people.

    Give your kids a hug; it will make you feel better and because they deserve it. For what it is worth to you, I think you handled the situation beautifully. You can look yourself in the mirror now and 20 years from now and know you are a good person. Your sister will "grow up" someday and will have to deal with the reckless decision she made to not include "family".

    Your kids were wise to see through the ruse of JW "faithfulness". As for the elders wife that gave you the evil eye and ordered you mom inside--take pleasure in knowing that her stony attitude and state of mind is mostly likely caused by her pompous elder husband not living up to his marital "obligations". She is already recieving "her reward".

    Forget your sisters nasty decision. Celebrate your kids and their accomplishments and simply live your life and enjoy it. Show them by your example that you are a bigger person than them and leaving the JW faith has only made your life blossom and made you a stronger person

    You did the most gracious thing you could have done-you attended. Good for you.

    ps. you might be interested to know that according to the rules of wedding ettiquette; you are not obligated to give a gift if you were not invited.

    regards and be well, Frank

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    BlueSaphire, my heart goes out to you...

    And I thought, this is a gift I am giving her. Because if she ever leaves this religion, she will not have to live with the fact that I wasn't at her wedding!

    What a kind loving thought and you are so right. One day this could happen and then she would not have to live with the guilt of not letting you attend, although I am sure she will still feel bad for the way you were treated..

    Remember that is it the religion not the people that causes this. It is so sad and so unnatural. A time when families should be all together to share in the joy but in stead this religion causes hurt. I missed my sisters wedding and didn't get invited. Ironically it was for different reasons, she was dfd and getting married in a church and assumed I wouldn't attend so didn't invite me. I will always feel bad that I missed her wedding. I guess the only savier is that they divorced not long after.. so maybe now one day I'll have a second chance..

    I'm sorry it was such sad.. bitter sweet experience for you..

    Pleased that at least those who could have shunned you, not all did.

  • Undaunted Danny
    Undaunted Danny

    I'm the oldest of the 5 Haszard siblings.I have NEVER been to any of their JW weddings.Even when we were intact JW's things were so dysfunctional(because of the WT$) that i missed out on the ceremonys.

    There was always something dysfunctional going,on that was instigated by the JW's.Always something going on.............................

  • sunshineToo
    sunshineToo

    I am so sorry about that sapphire.

    But if she is the only jw in the family, how com the rest of your family let you be treated like that? If that was my sister, I would say that I would come in the beginning and sit IN FRONT ROW with other family members. If she gives me an evil look, I'll share that moment with other friends and family, who are not jws.

    Did you do something to her in the past? Arg, I get upset whenever jws do unreasonable things like that.

  • Fleur
    Fleur

    i'm so sorry blue. this makes me cry, i have been through missing three family weddings (very close to me before i left the org) and each one hurt like hell.

    i hope she wakes up, and someday gives you the apology she so desperately owes you.

    ((((((((((bluesapphire)))))))))

    essie

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    I was so sorry to read this...But you were wonderful to go. Remember the words of "our" Lord.

    "What you do for one of mine you do for me also"

    He died for her too- she is forbidden to know that by the watchtower...But You took the place ( part of the body of Christ) & went for HIM!!!!!

    I was thrown of of my JW daughters house at 1.30 in the morning years ago, because I said they were teaching heresay......But we have to also remember "OUR" Lords words " Forgive them they know not what they do"

    (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))0000

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