FORMER ELDERS CAN YOU PLEASE HELP??

by MZINDEPENDENT 25 Replies latest jw friends

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  MZINDEPENDENT

  Hello, I am writing because I was disfellowshipped a week and a half ago. I have not been to the meeting in over two and a half years. You would think they would leave me alone. I was not bothering them or contaminating there congregations because I didn't go anymore. But these particular elders have been on a witch hunt when it comes to me. I didn't know I had been read off, until my ex husband told me "you know they read you off last Thursday"? I go nope, I had no idea.

  I am pissed because for one the second person they are saying I confessed to, I never did confess to, second they took away my right to appeal and thirdly they never notified me in person that I would be disfellowshipped and I was told by the society when I called there this morning that they are supposed to notify me in person.

  When I called the society this morning I was told to contact the elders and notify them of the above and that they are to contact the society regarding this matter for further instructions.

  I am writing to find out if anyone knows what happens after my elders contact the society and I want to also know if I have grounds for a lawsuit.

  I am sure that being disfellowshipped is probably the best thing for me, but its still very difficult to deal with especially when you consider the way things took place. I didn't want to be disfellowshipped because of my daughter who still attends the meeting with her dad and if she marries one of those assholes, I would like to attend her wedding. Plus I still had a few friends in there too.

  Please help, any advice would be appreciated.

  ~MzIndependent
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  Puternut

  Welcome to the board.

  I find it hard to undestand why you were disfellowshipped. We're you given any warnings? Did they invite you the committee? What was the 'charge' they df'd you with? Did you receive a certified letter?

  You have a right to appeal the decision within one week of your notice of disfellowshipping. After that you have no options with appeals. You can go to the body that disfellowshipped you, and ask for a meeting. Inquire about the reason for the procedures, as well as the 'charge'. There is not much you can do about it, except to ask for reinstatement. Provided this is what you want to do.

  Puternut
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  Carmel

  The benefits far outweigh the disadvantages! Count yourself lucky. Maybe the worst that you are speculating on won't happen. Wish you the best.

  carm
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  Pork Chop

  You do have an additional right of appeal to the Organization, if after meeting with an appeal committee you are not satisfied with what happens. That appeal has to be in writing and there should be no announcement until Headquarters reaches some decision. Sounds like you've got some guys that don't know procedure.

  Did they ask you to meet with them?
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  Nina

  If the elders in this situation did not follow procedure then you have grounds to appeal the disfellowshipping. Write a letter to that body of elders saying just that, you want to appeal the disfellowshipping on the grounds that procedure was not followed in your case. Don't say anything else! Don't give them ANY explanations about your thoughts or your life. This is the time to keep silent!!!

  No doubt they will be in contact with you. Keep EVERYTHING to yourself. Watch how you answer whatever they ask. Basically all you have to do now is speak enough answer them if they offer you a hearing. If they do there will be TWO sets of elders there. The first set will be the ones who DF'd you. The second set will be there NOT FOR YOU...remember that....they are there to see if the first set followed procedure or not.

  Remember to keep silent. You don't need to defend yourself at all! The appeal has nothing to do with you, it's about the elders who DF'd you and whether they did it according to the book. Since you weren't there when they did it you have absolutely no need to talk. Don't tell them ANYTHING.

  Be really careful. The call you made to Brooklyn is on record. The guy either recorded it or took notes. THAT MAKES HIM WITNESS NUMBER ONE. Dont' speak. Don't make anyone Witness Number Two....to anything!

  Don't call Brooklyn again. Don't complain to your friends. Don't even say too much on this board. Keep all the words to yourself. We are all here and a lot of us know what kind of pain you are in, so we don't need to hear the all the personal details to help you through.

  Tough it out, it looks from your post like you are in a good position to WIN.

  I hope!!!

  Nina

  P.S. A lawsuit against the Society might be pointless....but a civil suit against the individual elders for slandering your name might work.
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  stichione

  I hope the advice you received helps. By the way, many of us would be interested in finding out how all this unfolds. Please come back and tell us. Good luck.
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  Pork Chop

  I wouldn't say it was quite that open and shut. The first thing an appeal committee does is determine whether or not a disfellowshipping matter was involved. The second is to decide whether the individual was repentant at the time of the original meeting. That's the way it usually goes, and the error in determining repentance has to be 'gross' for the decision to be overturned. Since in this case it doesn't seem like you had an opportunity to actually have a meeting then an appeal committee might just say that it wasn't possible to disfellowship under the circumstances. Be aware that something that comes out in an appeal hearing can also be used to disfellowship, even if it is a new matter.

  I know of two instances in which committees very obviously acted without any evidence at all were simply overturned at the direction of the CO.

  I know of one case in which a committee acted on an individual without a hearing, imposing restrictions which went on for a very long time. In that particular case the Organizatoin eventually directed that their action be reversed but the CO had to stand on their heads of the local committee to actually make them comply. The Service Desk acted pretty quickly once they got the straight story but it took a couple of years for the individual to actually talk to the CO.

  I don't know if any of that helps but at least it's more information.
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  jst2laws

  MZ,

  I love your screen name, Mz Independent!

  Yes the local boys messed up. I suspect they had an agenda and looked for enough evidence to support an action they already felt was needed. If you have not left out any major factors in your summary, they screwed up royally.

  At best a protest of any sort will get the decision TEMPORARILY repealed. You know you left, they know you left, and they will eventually find a way to make it official even if you successfully fight this action.

  I understand your anger, many here have been there. So now you have to decide what you will really gain by fighting it. In the US a law suit will not prevail. At best you can find fault with the local elders for screwing up WT procedure but a court of law will look for damage by slander or libel and will not find it because of the way the announcements are worded (unless they screwed that up too)

  If there is more to this that makes you think you have a serious lawsuit, you are already in the right place. You are only a click away from some of the best attorneys available who already have the WT quaking.

  I think the best thing you can do for now is read, make friends here, and COOL OFF before you decide how to proceed.

  Welcome to the board MZ

  Jst2laws
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  Richie

  Let me get this clear: You said that you were disfellowshipped without you knowing anything about this beforehand. Also I understand that they did not contact you BEFORE to ask you to come to a judicial meeting to discuss "certain things". If you would have refused to go to a judicial meeting on several occasions, they would have a "right" to df you. Normally when you go to a judicial meeting and they then decide to df you, they will not df you for at least 1 week, as you would have the option to appeal their decision BEFORE they disfellowship you by announcing this to the congregation. In case they did not contact you to ask you to come to their judical meeting, they (the elders) certainly acted without following the proper procedures. In that case you will have an excellent chance to have this overturned, but then what I would suggest is to follow exactly what Nina said to you. Focus on the fact that they disfellowshipped you wrongly and totally against procedure,. and do not give them a chance to turn things around by them asking you probing questions, such as "do you still consider yourself to be a JW" etc..., but just focus on the wrong only THEY committed! I wish you good luck...
  

  Welcome to this board by the way!

  Richie :*)
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  MikeMusto

  you have no grounds for a lawsuit--why do people keep thinking they can sue over a judicial matter