oh and i would go to the c.o.
FORMER ELDERS CAN YOU PLEASE HELP??
by MZINDEPENDENT 25 Replies latest jw friends
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roybatty
Save yourself the frustration. If you haven't been to a meeting in 2-1/2 years, the Society and the CO aren't going to give "your side of the story" much of an ear. If you'd been going to the meeting, field service, etc, then they might but they probably know you just want to vent.
Anyway, if getting back at the elders is your motive, simple write a lette to them, nicely explaining your feelings and pointing out that the manner in which they handle this case only confirmed your feelings. Copy the Society, your CO and any close friends. Move on. That will naw at them the most.
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undercover
Are you sure they didn't announce that you had disassociated yourself from the congregation? While the end result is the same, they can announce your disassociation if they know if any of your activities were of the kind to show that you no longer wanted to be a JW. Granted, most elders don't go to that much trouble with an inactive person, but if they were "out to get you" then this could be their way of doing it and not having to deal with all the meetings and procedures. Just a thought.
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Special K
Hi Mzindependent
Welcome to the forum.
I have been d'fd too long to know all the "society rules".
I can see however why this burns you especially if you have a daughter you wish to keep in contact with.
Lots of good info here from different forum members.
welcome again
sincerely
Special K
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ThiChi
A judicial hearing is called to consider all evidence. It is unclear if you attended this hearing. If you confessed, two witnesses are required (even for elders). The two witnesses do not have to hear your confession at the same time, so evidence could be considered from two separate sources and times....
On your appeal, send a copy to the Circuit Overseer too, to assure it is considered.........send it certified mail and follow-up with a phone call for conformation.
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MZINDEPENDENT
You guys thanks so much for ALL of the responses. I really do appreciate it!!
Hear is the deal, as many of you still have questions. I suppose I did leave out some important information. Like the elders did try and contact. Once, they came to my house at 700am and I didn't open the door. If I were in good standing I wouldn't open the door at 7am. Another time they came to my door dressed in black trench coats carrying what my Nanny called walkie talkies. She thought they were from the IRS, because I don't take taxes out of her pay, it frightened her and she quit. Even though I tried calming her down several times and telling her that it wasn't the IRS she, it was to no avail. They asked her questions such as how does she pay you and are lot of people running in and out of this house. (so now I run a brothel, too...give me a break) I was totally livid when she told me about the questions they asked her. When I called the elder back and confronted him on it, he lied and said they never asked her those questions. So I just hung up on him.
The next time they tried contacting me was via a certified letter and I responded back and told him that I would be in Miami on that day. The final contact I had with them was over the phone, when he starts telling me that the one witness they had against me was my exhusband and the next witness was someone else I had confessed to, which I never did confess to either person at all. So he starts taunting me with this second person and I go well if you have everything you need, why do you keep calling me. I told him he was a bold faced liar and that his days as an elder were numbered and hung up on him.
I went away to Florida again and when I returned, low and behold they disfellowshipped me. I never once said that I wouldn't meet with anyone, I did say that I didn't want to meet with those elders because I can't stand them and I also said where were you when both my ex and I stopped attending meetings. They never came around then. But as soon as they hear something bad that someone has done they come running. I go you need to concentrate on the individuals that are hanging out at bars and are still "in good standing".
So that probably really pissed them off. There is my story and I hope that has helped to fill in some of the gaps. Thanks again for your help and any further input is greatly appreciated.
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undercover
Is your husband still an active JW or is returning to them? If so, I'm guessing that he's found another woman but can't date her until he proves that you were unfaithful. Or maybe if you still have a lot of contact with family or friends that are still active and your independant streak seems to influence them negatively, they may want to eliminate your influence on them.
Otherwise, I can't see why the elders would bother with trying to DF someone who has been inactive for over a year. Or it could be that you just really pissed someone off good and they won't let it go and are bound and determined to get even.
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minimus
Sorry, but this just goes to prove that the elders can believe and do ANYTHING they want. You're screwed.
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MZINDEPENDENT
My ex returned to dubs and I also believe that I really pissed them off and like you said they are out to get me.
Here's a good one for you. A year and a half ago, (while I am still not attending the meetings mind you) this guy that worked for me developed a crush on me. He happened to be studying at the time and his brother was an elder. He told his brother that he and I were having a fling and this is while I am still married and living with my ex.
The guys brother searched high and low to figure out which congregation I belonged to and told them that I was having an affair with his brother. When the elders called me, I go no I am not having an affair with him and furthermore have you seen this guy? The guy was ugly. (sorry if I offended anyone, but the guy was just butt ugly). A year after that I find out that this particular elder was having an affair with his secretary, who also happened to be a witness at the same time he was searching high and low to find out who my elders were so that he could tell on me.
So then they tried something else, my ex told them that I got drunk one night and he had to come and pick me up. My daughter happened to be in the car when he picked me up and they tried to use her as the second witness. When someone probably told them they were idiots for even suggesting this tactic, they left me alone for a few months and once my ex told them we were divorced they started harrassing me again.
I hate them terribly and they know it too!
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Puternut
MZIndependent,
Looks like you're in a pickle. But sueing the society will get you no where, but broke fast. I hope you can work it out to let it just go. In my honest opinion, you're better off where you are at now. Outside the organization, and total freedom.
Puternut