Checklist of Theocratic Goals

by 4JWY 21 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  franklin J

  Do not forget:

  1) dress like a "conservative" christian minister ( whatever that is)

  2) drive a 4 door car to make "field service" an easier task in transporting as many people into the neighborhood as possible.

  3) young "brothers and sisters" remember---no impure thoughts; dating; etc ( unless you have a view to marriage). Those of you with healthy, normal hormones--we advise you to "marry young" to avoid fornication. Better you should die; or stay in a miserable marriage because you married too young ( if you die you will be resurrected) than give in to the pleasures of the flesh.

  4) Show love for one another. But only to fellow theocratic worshippers of Jehovah. He exhaults in your devotion. To those who are worldly you are to set a good theocratic example; this brings glory to Jehovah. To those who have left the faith you may mistreat and ignore; they will die at armageddon anyway; "open season" on those. This includes any blood relations or former loved ones; you are to ignore them and abuse them; remember " Jehovah is a God demanding exclusive devotion".

  Yes, I remember this lifestyle all too welll.....
• 

  4JWY

  How about #26 -

  did you EVER send a financial contribution DIRECTLY to the society - oh no, it says: Send MORE financial contributions directly to the society. And, that's after you've already reached goal #25 to: Increase financial contributions to the KH.

  Am I allowed to pay my rent first?
• 

  micheal

  Do not miss the Friday of the District Convention - even if it means losing the great job you have, because we all know jehovah will provide another great job for you ( office cleaning ) to feed and clothe your 4 children.
• 

  mustang

  "#45 - Drop dead and wait for a new world."

  I'll do this, as time permits; meanwhile, I'm busy...

  "I don't think my fridge is big enough for a list that large. "

  "1. Go to Hawaii as often as possible!!"

  Note: get larger fridge; inquire of travel agent about appliance sales in Hawaii.

  Mustang
• 

  Nosferatu

  Here we go!

  1) Try to pee more in the toilet
  2) Do more drinking beer while mowing the lawn
  3) Make Shepharding calls with a case of beer in hand
  4) Strive to crawl out of bed even with a hangover
  5) Start doing the wife more
  6) Prepare for Friday night by going to beer store before drinking
  7) Increase trips to the bathroom to avoid an accident
  8) Get better aquainted with newer beers
  9) Improve beer consumption (24 beers a weekend)
• 

  4JWY

  Yeah XJ -

  I think your fridge is scared of you when it sees that set of teeth of yours standing before it!
• 

  iiz2cool

  Now here are some goals worth working toward:

  1) Attend X-JW meetups monthly.

  2) Go to at least 2 Apostafests a year. Host one if possible.

  3) Use the money you formerly gave to the WTS to increase your beer budget.

  4) Drink more beer so the aforementioned budget always balances.

  5) Get an education.

  6) Spend more time performing DDoS attacks on the Watchtowers web site.

  7) Go to a strip club. Get a lap dance.

  8) Smoke a cigar, even if you don't like it. Do it near the entrance of a JW convention site while people are going in. The sidewalk is a public place - they can't stop you.

  9) Send informational mailings to active JW's to increase cult awareness.

  10) Have more sex.
• 

  CeriseRose

  I got about a 1/4 way through that list and had to stop reading because I just felt exhausted.

  I never really got it when my coworkers said they couldn't believe how busy I always was. hehe
• 

  bem

  Phew. We had lists of things to accomplish but you gotta be way too full of energy for all these. Or way too full of something. thanks W.for posting it, Makes me glad I have these new goals that include a life for me.
• 

  run dont walk

  # 144,000 How do i get out of here ??