They just dont get it do they?..

flower

I saw my family this past weekend while visiting my home state for a few days. Its almost comical at this point how terrified my own siblings are of me. Like they cant even look me in the eye when they talk ....its so sad. They love my little kiddo to death (who wouldnt hes the cutest kid in the world ) so they want me to come over but then they are so nervous you would think they are talking to the president of the united states or something lol. I think they really believe that my evilness apostateness will jump off of me and onto them if they let down their guard.. lol.

The same people that I spent my life growing up with, laughing with, fighting with, acting goofy with, getting in trouble with, swapping clothes with....doing everything with and suddenly I am a stranger who cant even have a conversation about the weather.

Anyway my mother asked me if I have thought about coming back to the Kingdom ~~Hell~~ Hall. I told her NO. So then she wants to know if I am angry or disillusioned or what. I am neither, I am not angry about what happened when I was df'd it was a long time ago and it was the best thing that could have happened..I am HAPPY to be out.

That just didnt register in her brain. Apparently I am a horrible person. Because according to her it is very hard for the family to get together and do things and not feel uncomfortable with me around. I told her, 'well that is up to you guys not me'. But I am the one who is OUT so its my fault according to her. "So even though I spent my life miserable and now I am HAPPY for once you would have me throw that away just to make it easier for you all to be comfortable around me?"

No comment...change of subject.

They just dont get it. Maybe I am selfish but I just dont care about them enough to give up my freedom and happiness again just for them. I feel bad about it sometimes. Like I should consider it for the sake of the family. But then I snap out of it and realize that they are really fucked up in the head and I aint going back..no way no how. We can have as little or as much of a relationship as they dictate and I will accept that but going back is out of the question.

shamus

I am sorry that you have to deal with that bullshit, flower. Most families are not like that... it's a pity that many witnesses were born with these kind of parents who are being manipulated by mis-quoted scriptures and sheer madness.

CeriseRose

No, they don't. When I was letting my sister know that I was disassociating myself, and understandably she was upset and reacting, she several times kept bringing it back to my relationship with her. Like if I didn't do exactly as I was 'supposed' to, I was betraying her.

At one point I actually said to her, this isn't about you, how much I love you or the quality of that love. This is about me, what I need to do for me, for my sanity, for my health and well being.

That was when comments like "Satan really does have you then," started happening.

She doesn't see that I'm the same loving older sister, who would still lay down my life for hers, drop everything to help, and has the same good qualities I always have.

Which is why the WTS -is- so particularly heinous and evil.

I'm sorry that your family can't see it Flower. I just wanted to share that I know where you're coming from, and it is hurtful, and amazing at the same time that they just don't see it.

*hugs*

Elmer J. Fudd

Hi Flower,

The worst part of it all is the fact they are afraid of you due to the mind domination of the borg. Sad, but true. I felt "inferior" to my siblings for many years because I was caught up into what the borg taught me. Not any more!

Currently, my sibling dubs are afraid of me and the "real truth" and I like it that way. It's the power of knowledge many do not comprehend. I will endevour to persevere through the conflict. I will not win the fight , however I will stand my ground.

Elmer

myself

Flower, you have found peace with where you are at in you life. Everyone should be so lucky. You have also given your wonderful son the chance for happiness that it took years for you to achieve, that is the best gift you can give him as his mother.

When faced with the discomfort our family feels toward us, I have sympathy for them because at one time I was taught to feel that way too. It isn't always easy not to feel hurt just the same.

Soledad

Its almost comical at this point how terrified my own siblings are of me. Like they cant even look me in the eye when they talk

It is comical. this reminds me of the time that my mother had an accident and I stayed over for a couple of weeks until she got better. The JWs from her Hall would come over almost daily, but everytime I answered the door they got this brief look of panic on their faces, kind of like the deer frozen in the headlights! Often those who were brave enough to speak to me inevitably would ask "when are you coming back?" I just looked at them straight in the eye and say "never!"

DanTheMan

They're the problem, not you, no matter how much they try to make you feel otherwise.

Goodness dubs are weird.

Xena

Yea it's weird how freaked out they are by us now, it's like we grew another head or something. I told my sister once that if her faith couldn't hold up to spending one afternoon every year or so with me when they visit then I would have to say that was her problem not mine!

I have to admit I considered doing some token meetings at one point just to pacify them...and I might have done it if it was just me, but I'm not gonna put my daughter through all the confusion and crap. Just not worth it!

((((Flower))))

Fleur

"So even though I spent my life miserable and now I am HAPPY for once you would have me throw that away just to make it easier for you all to be comfortable around me?"

oh man, does that sound like a conversation i have had with some of my relatives in the past.

they would have me give up my happiness to go back, but that's their loss. they are missing out on my being in their lives more than i miss them, seriously. i do miss them, but you know what?i'm so different now that even if a miracle happened and shunning ended tomorrow and they all were standing before me, i don't know what the hell i'd talk to them about. we have absolutely nothing in common. not a thing except the same people's dna.

seeitallclearlynow

I'm with you 100% flower - there's just no way to go back, even for family. It's only when we're with them that it really becomes an issue, I think mainly because all that you mentioned - the memories of shared history, moments.

Your son will be kept safer from the bad JW influence this way.

They just dont get it do they?..

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