The Blame Game

Xena

The blame game...interesting to watch. Whatever happened to personal accountability? Or when you join an organization or cult do you lose that all of the sudden? At what point do you stop being accountable?

Fleur

i don't feel i was accountable because they got me at conception. i literally never had a chance. i was never given any other choice but to become a jw.

BUT (big but here) i accepted full responsibility for getting myself out when i was in my 20s and realized it was all a lie. and i did. and now i hold myself responsible for everything in my life, including my happiness. while my jw relatives keep blaming satan for their problems and removing all responsibility from themselves for the mess they've made of their lives.

but it's okay, to them, cause supergod is going to come save them and make everything a lovely picnic day at the zoo...

people blame their problems on a lot of things. if they persist in blaming someone or something else and not taking any steps to improve things, it's because they don't want to do the work to get to where they want to go. if you're willing to do the work, you get happy, then you don't need to blame anyone anymore.

interesting topic...

SixofNine

At what point do you stop being accountable?

When you're truly innocent?

kat2u

Fleur I couldnt have put it better!

Mary

The Blame Game is nothing new............we've been doing it ever since Adam said "....the woman whom YOU gave to me, she deceived me..."

five_crew

Finally, somebody touched on this in a thread. There are a lot of things we could all blame on other people. But it all comes down to our personal choices that we make as adults. My husband once told me of a girl he was dating. How she blamed her mom for leaving her to grow up with her grandparents. How she blames boys for exploiting her cuz she was easy, everyone was to blame except her. She didn't have a choice of who her mom left her with, but she did have a choice whether to be angry or actually live a life. She didn't have a choice that boys wanted sex, come on what teenage boy didn't, but she did have the choice to say no. Looking back on my life, there were a lot of choices I made that would be done differently if I knew everything I know now. I would have told of molestation earlier, I would have remained a virgin until I met my husband, all sorts of decisions. Accountability seems to be a hard thing for people. I for one enjoy growing and learning new things instead of wallowing in self-pity, blaming everyone else for choices I made. Where would the world be if no one was to blame for anything?

dh

i was born a jw, my parents still are, it wasn't great but i do not blame them at all, they thought what they were doing is right, it wasn't, but so what, we all make mistakes. i wasn't abused or anything so it's not like i have anything major to blame for anyway except missing everything that makes a childhood a childhood, and all the jw garbage, but to me that was all character building and i can pull more positive from it than negative.

my view on life is not to blame anyone, just deal with it and get on with it, blaming and pointing a finger at someone else is a waste of good time i could spend tormenting myself. i don't want any random sacrifce to answer for my badness either, i prefer to take the beating for whatever i do, if i'm wrong and i need to suffer, it's fine, that's what being an adult is about, dealing with things and accepting the consequences. not blaming and not letting someone else take the heat for you.

sure there are victims out there who are within their rights to blame, victims of abuse etc, i cannot speak about that much because it never happened to me, if i was abused i would probably blame and be full of hate, but for different reasons than now.

for the things that have happened in my life, i do not blame anyone but myself, even if it wasn't my fault, it's much easier to deal with it if i tell myself it is, stick it in a box and throw it into the place where my laughter comes from.

Jankyn

I'm with Fleur. I've done some thinking about this.

I'm really NOT responsible for the damage that was done to me as a child. I didn't ask to be born to JW parents, raised in a "high-control group," and brutalized.

I left as soon as I was able (in my case, 18).

However, I AM responsible for every time that I used that history as an excuse to pass on some bit of cruelty or dysfunction to someone else. And, unfortunately, I did use my childhood as an excuse for my own bad behavior throughout my early 20's.

You know, as much as I dislike JW doctrine, I must say that there's one thing I did learn from them that I believe has been worthwhile, and that's the importance of following your conscience, no matter what others are doing, no matter what the consequences. It just took me awhile to find my own conscience, as opposed to the rigid set of man-made rules they raised me with.

Best,

Jankyn

frenchbabyface

Dito Sixo !

Badger

Ah!

I blame FBF for my recent depression...she wasn't around!

(((French)))How have you been?

The Blame Game

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