WHAT DO U SAY TO SOMEONE WHO'S DYING? (page 2)

dustyb

i suggest smokin some weed with him. marijuana helps aleviate the pain from cancer, and if he's on chemotherepy it'll help w/ the nausea....

PinTail

Tell him there is much more to everything, yet its so simple. I am a near death survivor.

Shane,

SixofNine

I had the most horrible thought, "ask him for his stuff?" Yikes, I'm going straight to hell for that one!

But seriously, I don't have much answer... just that I find people who are deep in shit, whatever that shit may be, dying, feeling like ending it all, etc, don't usually want the people around them pretending the situation is other than it is, and acting as if they've lost all sense of humor. IOW, I guess like most things, you should confront it head on. Don't talk around it, speak directly to it and about it. Maybe just ask him what he thinks about it all.

Brummie

Dang this is a hard question, I think the best thing to do would to treat him as normal, to let him know you are there for him if he wants to talk about it and none verbally let him know he isnt dead yet and value his life and being alive. It must be horrible when people are treating you like you are already dead.

myauntfanny

I recently had a relative die, and found it extremely difficult to know what to say to her, especially as we could only talk on the telephone. What I talked to her about mostly was her family and how much they love her, what a good marriage she's had, how lovely her children are, and how important she was to everyone. Even though that is sad too, to leave people who love you, I wanted to focus on all the good that had been in her life. I asked her once what's good in your life right now, because I didn't want to make her talk about the grief and loss of it all, and she really responded. She told me about how much love she had received from friends, and what good care her husband was taking of her. We both ended up crying but it was very sweet, too.

Mary

Thank you everyone for your suggestions.........I spoke to my boss about it as he and the guy who's dying are best friends. This has really hit my boss hard as it's like losing a brother to him. I asked him what, if anything, should I do. He thought about it for a minute and then he said that although he knows my intentions are good, he thinks the best thing right now is not to do anything. I guess this guy and his wife are extremely private and both being British, are doing the whole "keep a stiff upper lip" and don't want to talk about it with anyone outside the immediate family right now.

In a way, I hope he doesn't last much longer as he's in ALOT of pain and there is absolutely no hope of recovery. It's gone all throughout his bones and all through his body. When it gets to be that bad, I say it's better to go quickly rather than extend the agony.

I figure the next life has got to be better than this one.

Pleasuredome

i go and see one of my old RV's every few weeks because he has cancer and hasn't long left. his wife died about 5 years ago and he never really got over that. it's difficult sometimes to know what to say, because i know he's always thinking about his situation and that he knows he ahsnt got long left. i just try and talk to him as normaly as possible. we chat about military aircraft which we both have an interest in, and things in general. if the conversation turns to his health then i try to keep it on a positive note. but it is difficult.

WHAT DO U SAY TO SOMEONE WHO'S DYING?