2/15/72 Watchtower p 126 Questions from Readers
Does the conduct of a man?s wife affect whether he qualifies for recommendation as an elder or a ministerial servant?The wife is part of a man?s household and her conduct does reflect favorably or unfavorably upon him. But in many lands she enjoys a certain legal status that often limits what the husband can do in controlling her conduct, especially if she is an unbeliever. According to the law, he usually has far less authority toward his wife than he does toward his children. Therefore, as long as the man is controlling his wife?s conduct to the extent that the law permits, he would not be disqualified, provided that he met all the other Scriptural requirements. Of course, he himself should not be guilty of contributing toward any wayward conduct of his wife. The important thing is that the man be indeed "presiding over his own household in a fine manner."?1 Tim. 3:4.
8/1/75 Watchtower p 469 Who Qualifies to Be an Elder?
Paul raises a question, after stating that an elder must be a man presiding over his own household in a fine manner, having children in subjection, namely, "If indeed any man does not know how to preside over his own household, how will he take care of God?s congregation?" (1 Tim. 3:5) Paul recognized that in God?s household more lives are at stake than in the man?s household. So there is need that he be well qualified in his ability to handle matters in his own household in the general interest of all. But does this mean that his household will necessarily be an ideal model in every respect? Possibly not. He may be doing all he reasonably can, and yet someone in his household may not respond as he would like him to. His wife may be very rebellious, even one opposed to Jehovah and his Word. (Matt. 10:36) But the important questions are: To what extent is the man of the house responsible for her rebellion, and is the disunity in the household due to any delinquency on his part? The congregation?s view of the situation must also be considered.
I'll add some quotes about marrying non-JWs when you are a JW.
*** w93 9/15 27 Preaching With Endurance in the Land of Ice and Fire ***
Friðrik, one of the elders here, was a fisherman. After attending the district convention in 1982, he was convinced that what he was learning was the truth. He returned to Akureyri determined to witness to his family, friends, and workmates. Friðrik made plans to quit his job as a fisherman so that he could have more time with the congregation. He told his girlfriend, Helga, that they could no longer live together until they were married, since he was going to become one of Jehovah?s Witnesses.
Friðrik also wanted her to study the Bible because he would not ?marry an unbeliever.? (1 Corinthians 7:39) To his surprise Helga started studying. They were married in February 1983 and were baptized shortly thereafter. In time Friðrik?s mother and sister also accepted the truth.
*** w90 5/15 19 "Teach Us How to Pray" ***
For instance, if we are interested in getting married, we may need to ask Jehovah to deliver us from Satan?s designs and from temptation to cultivate worldly relationships that can lead to immorality or
to disobeying God by marrying an unbeliever. (Deuteronomy 7:3, 4; 1 Corinthians 7:39)
*** w89 9/15 24 Be Obedient to Those Taking the Lead ***
To illustrate: The elders may urge a Christian to follow the Bible?s counsel to marry "only in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 7:39; Deuteronomy 7:3, 4)
They may point out that marrying an unbaptized person can lead to serious problems, even as King Solomon erred gravely by taking foreign wives, who inclined his heart toward false gods and away from Jehovah. (1 Kings 11:1-6) The elders may also
explain that Ezra had Jewish men put away their pagan wives, and Nehemiah said that those marrying unbelievers were ?committing
great badness in acting unfaithfully against God.? (Nehemiah 13:23-27; Ezra 10:10-14; see
The Watchtower, March 15, 1982, page 31; November 15, 1986, pages 26-30.) Blessings and the satisfaction of pleasing Jehovah result from applying such Scriptural counsel given by loving elders.
*** w89 11/1 18-19 Do Not Yoke Yourselves With Unbelievers ***
The Bible, though, warns against forming close attachments to unbelievers. As the apostle Paul put it: "Do not become unevenly yoked ["Do not harness yourselves in an uneven team,"
The Jerusalem Bible] with unbelievers. For . . . what portion does a faithful person have with an unbeliever." (2 Corinthians 6:14, 15) Paul may have had in mind the Mosaic Law?s prohibition against yoking together a bull and an ass for plowing. (Deuteronomy 22:10) The ass is smaller in size and not as strong and would suffer as a result of such an uneven yoking. Since marriage is like a yoke that binds husband and wife together,
for a Christian to marry an unbeliever would result in an uneven yoking. (Matthew 19:6
) Such a yoke often brings added pressure and stress to a marriage.?Compare 1 Corinthians 7:28.
*** w88 11/1 16 Is Your Home a Place of Rest and Peace? ***
Emotional needs can be met and spiritual things can be shared in the marriage of two dedicated Christians. This results in the closest possible human bond. Christian men and women surely desire a close bond with their marriage mates. Humans were created with an urge to worship, and our greatest happiness results when we take proper steps to satisfy our spiritual need. (Matthew 5:3)
Realizing this, surely we would not want to disobey Jehovah by marrying an unbeliever and thus robbing ourselves of this spiritual unity that enhances marriage. (Deuteronomy 7:3, 4) Yes, for the greatest happiness in wedlock, make sure that God is in your marriage. Such a figurative "threefold cord cannot quickly be torn in two." (Ecclesiastes 4:12) Indeed, having Jehovah God in your marriage will make it strong and will help to make your home a place of rest and peace.
*** w82 3/15 31 Questions from Readers ***
But what if a Witness planned to disregard God?s advice and to marry someone who was not a baptized Witness? Unless there was some exceptional reason, brothers in the congregation would not want to solemnize such an unequal yoking
. Nor would the Kingdom Hall be available for the wedding. It is available for marriages of two baptized Christians who are marrying "only in the Lord." *** w74 10/1 607 Questions from Readers ***
Is there any real objection to one of Jehovah?s witnesses "dating" a non-Witness who respects the Christian?s beliefs??U.S.A.The Bible does not comment about "dating," as this is a modern practice, but it does contain guiding principles.
Devoted Christians do not consider "dating" simply as recreation. Instead, they look upon it as an aspect of courtship, a serious step toward marriage. As to marriage, the Scriptures encourage selecting a mate who is "in the Lord," a believer, and not just a person who ?respects one?s beliefs.? (1 Cor. 7:39) Hence, one who dated an unbeliever with a view to finding a marriage partner would be acting contrary to the Bible?s admonition.
Then, too, while some unbelievers may respect one?s beliefs, they themselves are not following the counsel of God?s Word. This being the case, they may be inclined to take certain liberties with one of the opposite sex. Not being immune to the desires of the flesh, a Christian might yield to temptation when with an unbeliever. "Do not be misled," cautions the Bible. "Bad associations spoil useful habits."?1 Cor. 15:33.
Even if immoral conduct is avoided, an unbeliever is not a good associate. A person who is not a devoted worshiper of Jehovah God could not be a source of real encouragement to one who is. An unbeliever, while appearing to be a ?good person? and respecting the believer?s faith, still does not appreciate spiritual things. Lacking a spiritual outlook, he or she would not strengthen the believer in a determination to be faithful to God. On the contrary, since the unbeliever may be thinking of marriage, he would be encouraging the Christian to disregard God?s counsel about ?marrying only in the Lord.?
It is therefore wise for a dedicated Christian to look for possible marriage mates only among those who are believers and who possess spirituality
.?Compare Deuteronomy 7:3, 4; Nehemiah 13:26, 27; Malachi 2:10-12.
*** g75 10/22 23 What You Might Learn from Assemblies of Jehovah's Witnesses ***
However, of greater significance is the fact that the Bible-based talks of these speakers really help people to conform their lives to God?s ways. For example, after attending the presentation "Do Not Become Unevenly Yoked with Unbelievers," a college girl who is studying the Bible with Jehovah?s witnesses resolved that she would not marry the man to whom she is engaged unless he too accepts the teachings of God?s Word.
