What to do now?

SuperMommy

On thursday I did quit my JW studies...now for a problem I had not thought of. Many people in the KH have been asking my husband to do odd jobs around their homes. He has been doing this for a month for maybe a bit longer. The day after I stop my studies a call coming from a "brother" asks my husband to do some work for him. While there the elder comes by and talks with my husband for a bit. Now, Carey, my husband, is feeling very uncomfortable. He has asked me to call and explain myself again to them...which I don't feel I need to do. So, even though I have no been studying for long our lives are being effected by this. I told my husband many of my conserns. A few things I have read on these posts have helped him . He is beginning to see the cracks in this group of people. I am exhausted by the whole thing. I was really wishing this would just dissappear since I had not been baptized or been involved for very long.

PurpleV

Be very, very glad you stopped studying when you did. You have had a narrow escape from a really high-control cult that would have made your life a misery. Congratulations on getting out while you could.

Doubtfully Yours

The WTBTS is easy to join, but pure hell to get out.

DY

shotgun

For you and your husband the best bet is to just say NO.

Even though most of my JW contacts know my situation and would rather not have too much interaction with me they still manage to call when they need insight into household fixes or want help moving, now I tell them I'm too busy with work.

Except for a couple of older ladies and two single mothers who have been friends with my wife for a while.

sf

The day after I stop my studies a call coming from a "brother" asks my husband to do some work for him. While there the elder comes by and talks with my husband for a bit.

How clever they THINK they are in getting him away from you to snare him in.
If he has a backbone, he will drop all these 'jobs' and never deal with these people again. Surely there are other job options he can find.
He needs to just severe all ties. It isn't hard to do, IF you and he really want to be free and COMPLETEY wash your hands of this organization and its tactics of conversion.
Best to do it NOW and not later...as the snare WILL get harder to get out of.
Incidently, do you yahoo? I think I've seen you around the chatroom.
Respectfully, sKally

EyeDrEvil

SuperMommy,

Is your husband baptized? Studying? Loosley affiliated with the JWs?

What is he feeling about being in or out of the 'Org?

EyeDrEvil

Gopher

Now, Carey, my husband, is feeling very uncomfortable. .... A few things I have read on these posts have helped him .

Isn't this board great for exposing the JW's? At least your husband is seeing the "other" side of the JW organization, the side they don't want you to see.

...people in the KH have been asking my husband to do odd jobs around their homes. He has been doing this for a month for maybe a bit longer.

And are they PAYING him to do this, as they would any other professional? In the unlikely event that they are, he could tell them that since he's being paid for his time, he cannot be distracted by talk about philosophy and religion.

But I'll bet they're just using your husband's services to get by cheaply. If so, I'm sure he has much better things to do with his time -- and so the "I'm very busy" reason will deflect any such future requests from the J-dubs.

codeblue

Hi and welcome to the board!!!

I don't think you should have to keep explaining anything to the witnesses. No means NO...after all, there is a scripture that warrants that point!!! (Matt. 5:37: "Just let YOUR workd Yes mean Yes, YOUR NO, No..."

I take it your husband has never studied? Sharing him info from this board about the pedophile issues and lack of love withing the "fold" should be enough to know "by their fruits" they aren't following Jesus.

Hope all goes well for you and your family!!!

Codeblue

Nina

JW's will use every possible method in an effort to reach you. If that means attempting to communicate with you through other people, they will. They know, at least subconsciously, that it puts both you and the other person on the spot, but, hey!, what are friends for???

There is little you can do to stop the JW's. The thing to work on is your communication with your husband. If possible, find a way to let him know that no matter what JW's attempt, you do not want it to interfere with your relationship with HIM. Let him know that is what's happening, that JW's are beginning to poison your freedom of speech with HIM because you are concerned about what they will do in their attempts to "regain" you. Invoke his protection! It would be better if he recognized, on his own, the need to keep all family matters private, but in the event that he does not yet see through their manipulation, ask him if he would please refrain from discussing anything at all about the family or about your beliefs with the Witnesses. Tell him that you made yourself clear to the person at the door and that there is nothing further to discuss. You availed yourself of their offer to learn more, you aren't in agreement with what you have learned and you determined that it was time to stop the interaction.

Are these JW's paying your husband to work for them? Or is it the usual case of latching on to someone and getting work done "free"? Be careful about that. Even if the work is paid, the aggravation may negate the value of the money. You might be able to reason on it this way: you lived without the work before you met the Witnesses, you can live without it again. Speaking from collective experience here, the work will more than likely dry up when they see that neither of you are interested in "The Truth".

It's going to take some time to completely rid yourself of the JW clan. The next time a Circuit Overseer comes into the area they may even bring him (or his wife) around to "invite" you to his special talk or to rekindle a discussion or the study. Be on the watch.

Be polite but stand your ground. Don't give "reasons". Just say NO.

Nina

It occurs to me to add...

You are being BULLIED. For a complete discussion of all that bullying entails I recommend that you do an internet search. It's a huge topic.

Essentially you are being pushed into submitting to someone that you would prefer to ignore. You are being forced toward justifying yourself to people who have no "real" authority.

Get indignant! Would you let someone bully your child? Then why let them do it to you?

Get help if you need it, SuperMommy. Maybe posters on this board can help.

One thing is certain; if you give in on even one small point they will not be satisfied. It just means that they will lean on you again, and harder!

Stand your ground!

N.

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