Let's face it. The main reason to be a JW is the feeling of belonging.

by new light 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  new light

  Don't you agree? The doctrine part has its appeal for some people, but most join and stay because it feels good to belong to something larger than yourself.

  Realizing this may make it easier for some to stay away. That longing you may feel at first to join them or go back to them is not holy spirit, it's just the natural human inclination to belong to a group.

  To anyone thinking of merging with the JWs, here's a tip: Find a group that let's you be yourself, a group that appreciates and makes use of your individuality.
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  myauntfanny

  Find a group that let's you be yourself, a group that appreciates and makes use of your individuality.

  I agree, but it's easier said than done. The temptation of a cult is that if you believe as they do, you're automatically accepted, with or without social skills. Or at least it seems so at first.
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  Nina

  I don't agree but you are entitled to your opinion.

  Nina
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  Markfromcali

  The doctrine part has its appeal for some people, but most join and stay because it feels good to belong to something larger than yourself.

  I would pose the question whether that something larger than yourself is a group of people. Although one may quite naturally want to be part of a group, the whole spiritual deal is supposed to be about something larger than that, larger than belonging to a group of people. Whatever you think that is or even if you think that is doesn't really matter, but the point here is be honest about what you want. If you just want to belong to a group of people, there are lots of ways to do that. If you want something more along the lines of it fitting who you are, then that's another story. Remember even when you are with a group on the same page as you, you're still you and they are still them.
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  cyber-sista

  Part of it is the feeling of security you are made to feel when you join the group--for me it was anyway. The other part was the idealistic thinking program--paradise earth--the panacea for all mankind--this appeals to people with low self esteem or those who are suffering in life in one way or another--many who can't make it by themselves out in the real world (this used to be me). But after the daze wears off and you begin to see through it all it gets pretty ugly.

  cybs
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  Golf

  Isn't a good marraige a belonging? Two become 'one' flesh.

  Guest 77
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  Gretchen956

  Ah the lure of cults and gangs alike, that feeling of belonging. They prey on the vulnerable and before you know it, brainwashed into fervent fanaticism.

  Gretchen
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  Agent 1 of 1

  Sorry, new light, I'm gonna have to disagree with you on this one. For me personally, anyways. Maybe this is the case for everyone else.
  
  Being raised as a JW all my life, it was the only thing I knew. If I didn't go to meetings, I didn't feel terrible cause I missed the association. I felt guilty for displeasing God. So, to me, it was all about religon and spirituality, a way of life, not just for association.
  
  Once again, this was how it was for me. Maybe others felt the same or not. But I do agree that I like this group of people here a lot better. They at least don't slam you down for your ideas and imagination. They let you be who you are. And if there is a god, I believe that's exactly how he would act too.
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  Stefanie

  but most join and stay because it feels good to belong to something larger than yourself.

  I agree to an extent.
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  Mary

  but most join and stay because it feels good to belong to something larger than yourself.

  You're absolutely correct. Being a Witness for many is like living in the smaller communities from years ago, where you knew all your neighbours, had lots of friends and never had to worry about being totally alone. Today, so many more people live in larger cities where you can live for decades without ever knowing your neighbour, and you are lucky to count 3 or 4 people as "friends".

  This is why I find it extremely difficult to make a final break from the Society. I'm not married, nor do I have any children. I was born into this religion, and most of my social life revolved around people in "the troof". If I completely left, I'd have no one there to support me and I know I would be extremely lonely. Am I a coward for not making the final break? Ya, probably.