Hi everyone....

by Jeremy Bravo 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • CPiolo
    CPiolo

    Jeremy:

    I understand your pain, but believe you’ve probably saved yourself a lot of pain in the long run.

    My heart was broken as well by a woman studying with the JWs. She was not baptized, but her mother was. Finally, my questions, the fact I wasn’t a JW, and her natural desires had to be suppressed and she left a note ending the relationship along with some things of mine she had at a neighbors. At the time, I was completely naïve as to exactly what kind of group they were apart from the usual sensational stuff –blood, holidays, etc. At least it was a quick and clean break.

    I am currnently married to a JW. This is far more painful and torturous. The pain is nearly constant, and if not present, it’s close by waiting to rear its ugly head.

    You’re probably wondering why I went back for seconds. I certainly didn’t intend to. When I met my current wife, she was not a JW. She had left the group years before I met her. In fact, we discussed religion shortly after we met and I told her of my previous relationship with a JW and how I was in no way interested in repeating the experience. She reassured me she would never return for various reasons.

    We subsequently married and had a child. Life presented my wife with some difficulties and she returned to the Witnesses (at the urging of her mother I believe), and our relationship hasn’t been the same since. One has to constantly edit one’s speech so as not to offend the ultra-sensitive Witness. They, on the other hand, are free to criticise any and all others not of their ilk, including all your family, friends, and acquaintaces.

    My wife and I had an agreement not to teach or indoctrinate our child. I’ve recently learned she has broken that promise. Our son is only three and he is already mentioning Jehovah. He clearly has no idea what this means, but the indoctrination has begun.

    These are the things you’ve avoided. No small comfort I’m sure, having had my share of broken relationships, but maybe it may help in some small way.

    Take care,
    CPiolo

  • thinkers wife
    thinkers wife

    Jeremy,
    Welcome to the board. Everyone else has pretty much covered what I would say, so I will just give you a hug. And hope that you feel better soon!!
    TW

  • unanswered
    unanswered

    jeremy-i remember the pain of my jw-influenced first marriage. it took a awhile to get over the breakup, but we are all tougher than we imagine when we have to be. i raise my glass to you and your efforts to put this behind you. hope things start getting better soon, and welcome to the board.-nate

  • Free2Bme
    Free2Bme

    Hi Jeremy
    Just want to add my sympathy.
    Try not to feel bitter against her.She must be going through hell getting over you as well.Of course she will have a support system set in place with soothing voices telling her she has done the right thing and put Jehovah first.She probably feels like a righteous martyr.But don't forget she also will no doubt feel gutted and lost.Her refusal to listen to what you had to say is not a reflection of her lack of trust - the poor girl has no choice. She has been brainwashed to avoid any information that may shake her faith. She is steadfastly trying to stay loyal to God .Godly zeal is absolutely passionate especially at baptism.Romantic love comes second to a relationship with everlasting life as the ultimate orgasm.
    Get on with your life and try to think of her with kindness.Don't hold out any hope she will see sense as it is unlikely.Just slyly cross your fingers.
    Forgive her for choosing Jehovah over you as that is how she will see it.
    Try not to allow the final outcome to sully the beautiful moments you had together and the feelings you both experienced.

    Free

  • unclebruce
    unclebruce
    This weekend is the annual party weekend at my roomie's parents cottage. Oh yeah am I ever gonna let it all out. What I'm afraid of is getting all messed up and bawling in the middle of the festivities.

    Big boys do cry Jeremy, and the sooner people learn that the better. My father died when I was 17 and I cried everyday for 3 months. At the same time I was getting back-chat from people saying I was a cold hard fish by not showing any emotion about it in public at the funeral and such) ..

    At least ya got a party to go to .. just take an extra hankerchief ya crybaby! ;)

    best wishes, unclebruce

  • Jeremy Bravo
    Jeremy Bravo

    Hello again and thank you one and all for the help!!

    There are too many people to mention individually this time, like I did before. Rest assured that I appreciate all that has been offered and I will reflect on every single piece of the excellent advice that I have been given. All I can say is thank you and I will certainly stick around for a while and enjoy the company of this forum.

    The big reason why I posted here and not somewhere else is that it is an incredibly diverse group of people, from all backgrounds and affilliations. This can only maximize my exposure to new ideas and people, as this thread has evidenced. It also helps that everyone here seems very open-minded and accepting of one another.

    Glad to meet you all and I hope to kept in contact!
    Jeremy.

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